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Musings of a submissive

Ramblings and rants
3 days ago. Aug 6, 2020, 6:39 PM

I told my Dom the other night that he wasn't perfect, but he was perfect for me. I meant every word. He somehow knows when to push and when to step back. When I was feeling that I needed something more, I told him what I needed, and he exceeded my expectations.

He is the perfect blend of soft and hard when he deals with me. He lets me tease but is firm when I go too far. He has learned to not let me push too hard.  Our dynamic fluctuates and flows...it would give another Dom whiplash, but it works for us...

I've seen his Daddy Dom side, his firm Master side... I'm looking forward to slipping into another dynamic this weekend. I am jumping out of my skin just thinking about the possibility of exploring our s/m roles a little more in a few short days. I've been craving this. I know he won't disappoint.

1 week ago. Aug 1, 2020, 3:26 PM

I always loved watching the High Wire act when I was younger, especially when done by a pair, so graceful...each one had their choreography down and together they created magic. I envied their connection...their level of trust.

 

I see many similarities in a D/s relationship.  Both partners have their own choreography, their own role to play, but when they put it all together, it is pure magic.

 

On the high wire, if only one person is doing all the work, someone is going to fall.  Even the most athletic performer will get tired and have to let go.

 

In the D/s relationship we see the same thing...the Dom who takes in abundance but only gives sparingly...the sub who follows direction but never anticipates or encourages their dom.  It works for a while...but pretty soon one of them will get tired (i.e.  confused, depressed, discouraged, frustrated...) and let go.

 

Some may say, " but that's just how our dynamic works."

 

To them I reply," Bullshit."  That's just being selfish, and that is not what D/s is about.  Yes, there is a spectrum of dynamics, but at the heart of every one of those is a desire to honor, respect, serve, and protect each other.  It's about being part of a unit, a part of something special. That give and take is what makes it so special, what creates and sustains that magic.  Anything else is just an illusion.

 

At least, that's how it looks from the High Wire.

 

 

1 week ago. Jul 30, 2020, 8:57 PM

He reinvented himself

New name, new profile, new pic

But I recognized him.

We text...we chatted

He gave me an order.

I told him one has to earn the right to be my Dom

So he sent a pic.

And glorious as it was, that was not what I had in mind.

So to those of you out there that give a flying... If I want to see it, I'll ask.

Talking to someone does not automatically mean sexting.  There are those of us who do like to talk, and if we stray into the area of BDSM it doesn't necessarily mean we want to get jiggy wit it. And if someone does decide to sext with you, for heaven's sake...do it with style unless otherwise stated.  Take pride in your work, don't be lazy.

Just sayin'

 

PS- my collar is firmly attached, so I won't be asking.

1 week ago. Jul 29, 2020, 12:59 PM

 

don't come to me with those words-

you know just what I love to hear

& you know just how to say it

 

but you didn't want the job-

you just wanted the paycheck

sorry... the position has been filled

 

 

1 week ago. Jul 29, 2020, 12:54 PM

I saw the wolf again today.  It had been a while since he last came sniffing around the garden.  He had changed a little.  His marks were a little more faded, the silver at his throat a little wider, but it was him; I couldn’t forget those eyes.  What is it about wolves that intrigue us? The danger? The wild abandon?  


I had let this one get close months ago.  Mesmerized by the sounds he made, the feelings he stirred in me.  I found myself sneaking out at night just to get a glimpse of him.  The erotic dance of circling one another, almost touching then backing away.  Oh, he was a tease, this wolf.  In the past his howl would bring me running, drawing me like a magnet.  Always letting me get just so close before backing away, yet never taking his eyes away from mine.  Never touching yet never letting me go.


He howls once more; my breath catches in my throat, my heart races, and then...


My Mastiff stands in the doorway waiting for me... I smile... my heart melts.  My sweet boy.  


He comes and puts one paw on my arm.  I know what he wants.  Leaning down across his back, I wrap my arms around him, resting my cheek on his back while I rub his belly and say…


“Who’s mommy’s good boy?”

He loves me unconditionally. He protects me. He understands me. He is strong...solid...beautiful.

 

The Wolf is beautiful too,  but elusive.  He is like vapor that dissipates in the morning sun, and he cannot be trusted.

 

1 week ago. Jul 29, 2020, 1:19 AM

This is a song by Chris McClarney and the lyrics perfectly describe how I am feeling right now.

 

Breakthrough

There must be more
Beyond familiar shores
Into waters unexplored
 

This one desire
Stirring here in me
Deep is calling out to deep
 

 Take me from where I’ve been
 Into something new
 I’m giving up control
 I need a breakthrough
 All of my dreams and fears
 Are crashing into You
 You’re waking up my hope
 You are my breakthrough
  
 Your love, so wild
Conquers my defenses
Opens the impossible
 It’s so amazing
 How you take the ashes
 And turn them into beautiful
 

 Take me from where I’ve been
 Into something new
 I’m giving up control
 I need a breakthrough
 All of my dreams and fears
 Are crashing into You
 You’re waking up my hope
 You are my breakthrough


 You’re making all things new
 You’re making all things new
 It’s what You always do
 You are my breakthrough

 

No matter where we come from, we all have baggage and regrets.  We need that breakthrough, we need to feel new.  Our past may have brought us here, but it doesn't have to define us; it doesn't have to be where we settle; sometimes we hold on so tight to our past that we miss what's right in front of us.  For some of us, the horrible mess that we know is more comfortable than taking that step into the unknown, even though we know it is better than where we are.

 

2 weeks ago. Jul 22, 2020, 4:30 AM

There are so many degrees in all the categories of fetishes.  When we are asked to list our hard limits they can sometimes be vague and we think we are in tune with a potential partner when we aren't.  This is what I wrote in my journal; although I wrote it down to clear up some things for myself initially, it was shared with my Dom.  I have my toes dipped in a lot of fetish pools, but I am not immersed in any specific one, and this list solidified that.

So tonight I wanted to go through and list things that I like or would like to try


1.  Age play-  I would like to be bathed and read to, my hair brushed...and do the same to you.  
2.  Bondage- not trussed up like you are a cowboy at a rodeo, but…well...maybe...
3.  Breathplay- not shut off my air supply, but I love when you firmly grasp me by my neck
4.  Foot fetish- foot rub, paint my toenails...I would love to wash your feet and give you a foot massage
5.  Gagging- it's ok to push deeper.  If I think I'm about to lose consciousness due to lack of oxygen, I will do something to get your attention
6.  Humiliation- call me your slut in bed, make me walk around naked when in the house...mild humiliation is a turn on.
7.  Impact play- I’m up for anything except caning or punching...this includes spanking, whips, floggers, paddling, light smacking, crops...just keep it to the T and A areas (thighs are ok as well) no permanent marks and never forget the aftercare.  
8.  Japanese Bondage takes a lot of time, but I am willing to try it if you are
9.  Lactation- ANR
10.  Rimming- I would try with you but with frequent wash breaks or dental dam 
11.  Roleplay- too many scenarios to mention in this list
 12.  Rough Sex- take me but don’t torture me
13.  Sensation Play/Deprivation  The Wartenberg Wheel could fall in this category
14.  The Submission Poses
15.  All types of Vibrating Toys
16.  Voyeurism-   not watching others, but watching you masturbate and cum, being able to watch us.
17.  Wax play- I would love to try the massage candles (the ones that when they get hot turn into massage oil) and using the special candles for sex play where the wax won’t get too hot

 

By knowing exactly what I like/want/need, my Dom is better able to reward, punish, and grow me in this area.  As our relationship evolves so will this list.

2 weeks ago. Jul 22, 2020, 4:03 AM

Blessed beyond measure is the master who's submissive was free, but willingly chose to submit.

Who knows who she is and gives herself fully to her master in order for her strengths and gifts to be honed and magnified by him while he covers her weaknesses; to benefit him and therefore THEM, because she knows that they are better together, more than they ever could be apart.

This is who she was meant to be.

3 weeks ago. Jul 18, 2020, 12:48 AM

A true Dom understands the difference between wants and needs.  They protect, guide, and support their submissive.  They hold the power but show mercy.  The submissive feels safe with them and because of this, the desire to please and serve their Dom only grows stronger.


There are many good men out there, but there are many reasons why I love this man of mine and am so grateful he chose me.

  1. He is dominant in his own life; he takes care of his responsibilities, so I can trust him to take care of me.
  2. He may be a relatively new Dom, but he does his research and takes his role seriously.
  3. He makes sure that all our issues or concerns are addressed and resolved before we go to bed.
  4. He supports all areas of our relationship, not just the sexual aspects.
  5. He always makes sure that our rituals, routines, and rules are working for us and growing us as a couple; if they are not, we talk about what isn’t working and adjust.
  6. He always makes sure that I know how much he values and cherishes me.
  7. He makes my life better just for knowing him.
  8. He is authentic, caring, and considerate to everyone.  
  9. He earned my respect before he ever asked to be called my dom.

 

 

 

 

1 month ago. Jul 8, 2020, 2:45 AM

In high school, I was a size 7 when the other girls strove to be a size 2.  J Lo hadn't yet made booty something to be desired, and the Kardashian's were still sweet and innocent.  Strategically hiding my wobbly bits, they only became more pronounced over the years, and I could only blame baby weight for so long.

Along comes my Dom.  He loves all my wobbly bits.  He runs his hands up my body, stretch marks and all, and like a cat, I purr in pure delight.  I lay beside him, my left leg stretching along his right, my right leg brought up to go over his chest in order for every inch of the front of my body to touch his.  With just a slight adjustment I can feel the friction of the hair on his thigh on my damp center.  I run my hands through his chest hair and close my eyes reveling in the feel of his beard on my breast.  With my right hand, I run my fingers through his hair, over his face...memorizing the scent and feel of this man who loves me just the way I am. 

Please keep the lights on Sir.