Musings of a submissive

I look at the picture you took of us lying in bed;

the sun slipping around the curtains and trailing over our naked bodies.

Mussed hair, eyes closed, the beginnings of a smile as my head dips down near yours.

I take my time looking at that captured moment; it's one of my favorite pictures of you.

The sweep of your dark lashes; your lips on my full breast.

Loving the way the light shines on the few gray hairs that shoot through your hair.

I remember that day; so satiated, we could hardly move.

you looked at me like I was water and you were a man dying of thirst.

I lay there, legs still shaking, wanting nothing more than to stop time.

The morning light gently made its way through the curtains, caressing her body as she lay on her side, one arm under the pillow that supported her head as he sat beside the bed watching her sleep, enjoying the way the rays played over the loose curls of her Titan hair. 

He looked at his watch, briefly considering calling the office to push back his morning  appointments.  He knew his secretary would be arriving about now, turning on the lights, getting the files for the day organized.  Miss Betsy had been with him since he took over the firm, and he knew his matronly, yet tough as nails, secretary would have everything under control.

The soft sigh that came from the king sized bed made the decision easy.  Quickly messaging his change of plans for the day, Damon silenced his phone and put it on the table beside him.  He turned his gaze once more to the vision sleeping in his bed.

He watched as her tongue darted out of her mouth, licking her lips.  He felt his arousal grow as she moaned while arching her back, pushing her round breasts and taut nipples out while she stretched her arms.

“Good morning luv,” Damon’s voice, low and husky with desire washed over her.

‘Oh, good morning, Sir”, Nichelle responded, as she sat up, pulling the sheet up with her.

Damon’s lips pulled up on one side as he observed the redness on her cheek and unruly hair caused by the pillowcase.  She didn’t realize it, but Damon loved this look most of all.  The look of a woman who had been so well loved the night before, that she bore the evidence through her deeply satisfied sleep.

“I didn’t expect you to still be here when I woke up,” Nichelle said sleepily, “ Would you like me to make you something to eat before you head to work?”  She was a little surprised that he was still home, but every so often, Damon would have a business meeting closer to home than the office, and so he would leave a little later than he typically would.

“I’m not really that hungry,” Damon replied.  His eyes told her what he was really hungry for.

Nichelle’s emerald green eyes swept over his very obvious erection. She sat up straighter in the bed, allowing the sheet that had been covering her to drop softly into her lap. The slight breeze from the overhead fan hit her breasts, causing the areolas to pucker and nipples to stiffen.  Nichelle quickly lowered her eyes and bit at one corner of her lip as she  pushed the sheet off of her naked body and shifted herself, so she was sitting in the Nadu pose --back straight, shoulders back, facing him with her head down, her hands resting on her thighs, palms up.

She kept her eyes down, but she heard his every move.  The muted sounds of his shoes dropping onto the carpet caused her heart to beat faster in anticipation.  She heard the whisper of his shirt being pulled from his body; the quiet metallic “zip” and “swish” of fabric let her know that he had removed his slacks.  Without even looking, Nichelle knew Damon had folded his dress shirt and slacks neatly over the back of the chair to keep them from wrinkling.  Finally, she heard the sound of a watch being placed on the dresser.  Her body began to tingle from head to toe.

Suddenly, Nichelle’s head was pulled back by a large hand grabbing her hair.  The pain was sensuous and felt a ripple of desire  spread deep inside her.

“Look at your Dom,” Damon demanded.

Nichelle opened her eyes and looked up.

“Good girl,” he said quietly.  “ I am hungry, but not for anything in the kitchen.  What are you hungry for, baby girl?”  Damon’s eyes glowed fierce with passion.

Nichelle licked her lips again, as she glanced down at his thick, hard cock.  “I’m hungry for you,” she whispered, as she raised her eyes to him once more.

Damon tightened his hold on her and drew her to him as she opened her mouth.  Taking him in as far as she could, Nichelle let her tongue roam, first running it over and around the head before sucking and teasing the shaft.  Drawing him in even more, she gently scraped her teeth up and down the shaft.  With one hand stroking what couldn’t fit into her mouth, the fingers of her other hand ran up one thigh and cupped him, gently massaging the maglara.  After running her tongue over the tip one last time, Nichelle’s mouth replaced her hand, and she enveloped one large gland in her mouth, gently suckling first one, and then the other.

Damon stood above her, his dark eyes growing even darker as her ministrations drove him ever closer to the brink of ecstasy.  He closed his eyes, giving in to the feeling firing his loins, his head fell back as his body began to shake, and a primal growl sprang from his lips.

Hearing this, Nichelle moved her mouth back up to his manhood.  She licked the first bead of pre-cum before drawing him in once more.  As Damon’s cock quivered in her mouth, and his thick hot juice shot out, Nichelle began to swallow, moaning in pleasure as she felt each spasm of his release.  Purring in satisfaction, she sat up, licked her lips, and with her tongue, cleaned up the last of the cum that beaded up.

Looking up at Damon, she said with a smile,” Thank you, Sir,”

“You are very welcome,” he replied.  “Now lay back, and let me Thank you.”

Give me an assignment to do when you are out;

Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it.

Don't leave your desires and needs unmet;

Tell me every dirty little detail, and I'll fulfill it.

          I woke up this morning around the usual time; I followed my usual routine: let the dogs out, feed the cat, put away dishes, switch over laundry...  Sir was sleeping upstairs, and when I let the dogs back in, I stayed downstairs, so they wouldn't wake him up.  I played a few games on my phone while they wrestled each other close by.  Suddenly, I felt my body stirring and moisture seep between my thighs. 

          "Wow," I thought. "This is something new."  I debated whether to ignore it, take care of it myself, or to go wake Sir up.  I sat for a bit, just enjoying the sensations without doing anything to add or detract from them.  Every part of my body seemed to be overly sensitive.  I hadn't been watching anything that would stir these feelings of need in me.  We had been intimate the night before, and I had been fully satisfied.  It just seemed odd to me...in a good way of course.

          I let the dogs back out and went upstairs, hoping to find Sir awake.  Climbing into the big bed, I snuggled up beside him without waking him.  Sir always wraps the blankets around him like a cocoon, so I began to softly kiss anything exposed staring with the small patch of skin at his widow's peak that was poking outside of the blanket.  I gently pulled down the covers as best I could to continue my assault.  What else could one call it?  My body was tingling and I was edging without having done anything to cause it.

          I worked my way to the other side and half awake, Sir rolled over and drew me close.  He was aroused, and as I tugged at his underwear, he lifted his ass so I could free his hard cock.  Oh, how I love the smell of my dom.  He moved his legs so I could get better access, and I buried my face.  I drew him in, swirrling my tongue around his velvet shaft and the ridge at the head.  Licking and sucking, I pulled him in as far as I could, his hair tickling my nose and my chin nestling in his...well you get the picture.

          I asked him if this was okay, and he responded that it always is.  Fully awake now, I climbed on and rode him.  Hard.  At times using the wall to support me, and sometimes leaning over him, letting my tits rub against the hair on his chest.  I mentioned that my skin was sensitive, right?  The sensation of coarse hair on my nipples sent another wave through me.  Sir asked me to sit on his face.  As his tongue began to lick and his teeth began to nip at my wet pussy, I felt the fingers of one hand tease and heard the rythmic sound of skin on skin as he began to stroke himself.  I leaned against the window frame as a small orgasm rippled through my body.  This served to prompt Sir to grab my hips and bring me closer to his mouth.  I heard him whisper, " G-d, I love how you taste."

          It felt so good, my head dropped back and my eyes closed as I sucumbed to the sensations.  He had asked me to sit backwards so I could suck his cock, but I was feeling greedy and couldn't focus on pleasing him.  Sir understood this, and he let me ask for what I wanted.  Continuing to give in to my thirst, I asked him if he would straddle me as he stroked himself.

        Laying me down, he straddled me while I held my tits together.  One of the benefits of having such large breasts is they are always a part of my sexual experiences.  My nipples being as sensitive as they were, as he stroked himself above me, his cock rubbed against my nipples, another small orgasm almost did me in.  My wimper caught the attention of my dom and he slid off my hips and spread my legs.  I was so wet, he slid in easily.  

          I love how I can feel Sir grow bigger inside me.  He fits so perfectly inside, stretching me with each thrust.  Nothing feels as good as when I have my knees up, heels on my ass, as his balls create friction on one side and his pubic hair rubs against the cleft of my wet pussy on the other.  I run my hands up his chest wishing I had longer nails to scratch and leave my mark.  Sir likes to mark me.  I really wanted to do the same just once.

          Sir has amazing stamina, and this morning I was so glad of it.  I just couldn't seem to get enough, and he was so hard that we changed positions multiple times.  I was so wet.  After Sir ate me out and I climaxed one more time, I cuddled close to his side, touching him, licking my juice from his beard while telling him just what he does to me.  He begain to masterbate again as I watched, running my fingers along the inside of his thigh, kissing and biting his chest.

         He asked me where I wanted him to cum, and I told him I wanted to watch.  I love watching him cum.  His cock reddens and becomes even bigger, his legs tense and his breathe catches as his thick white juice shoots out.  He spasms, once, twice, three times.  By the last time, my mouth has drawn him in and my tongue is swirling around his shaft, lapping up the last of the cum that beads up.  I groan in pleasure as I taste him.  After I have made sure to lick up the last drop, I use my mouth to clean his now softening shaft before getting some wet wipes to clean him up so the cum that I missed does not drip onto the bed sheet.

          I bury my head and smell him one last time before we get up and get ready for the rest of the day.  I would stay here all day if I could, but the real world has pushed its way into our little cocoon that we created in our bedroom.  Days like this don't happen as often as I would like, but I am glad that we had this one brief moment to sucumb to this sensory overload.

(shared with Sir's permission)

In a room lit only with the flame of a candle,

the only sounds are soft sighs and the whisper of the sheets.

Fingers splayed, they glide over my heavy breast,

nipples taut from the slight chill tighten even more from the contact of my hand.

Eyes closed, I think of you looking at me,

your tongue darts out and a short breathe escapes your lips.

As my hand slides lower still, I think of your hands on my body,

tugging and teasing until my body's on fire.

My fingers become yours, as they probe and tantalize my secret place.

I feel the pressure start to build, but no release is to be found.

I come to the edge but go no further,

because that is the place you will take me.

And so I wait, panting as the exquisite tension leaves my body.

Waiting for you to push me over the edge.

To feel in your touch that you see only me,

so when I open my eyes, I see only you

Passion filled kisses that drive away doubt;

see only me; see only you

To be able to trust that this much is true,

see only me;see only you

I want to be his baby.  

to be treasured and adored

I want to be his mama

give him the respect that he deserves

I need to be his baby

to know I am secure

I need to be his mama

he knows he's safe within my arms

I hope that as his baby

he puts my needs above his own

I hope that as his mama

I can be the best he's ever known

I love the tradition of the centuries-old Rose Ceremony; a bonding ritual full of symbolism that binds the Dom and Sub who have committed to remaining together for the rest of their lives.  

In this private ceremony, the sub dresses simply and carries a single long-stemmed white rose that hasn't fully bloomed while the dominant wears black and holds a single long-stemmed red rose that is almost in full bloom, both stems still having their thorns.

The white rose symbolizes her submission and the purity of her gift, while the still slightly closed petals show that her submission has not come into full bloom. It never will. Submission is ever-deepening, ever-growing and the submissive will never reach a place where she cannot open a bit more for her Dom. The red rose signifies his dominance, his passion, and his desire to possess and protect her at all costs, even if it requires him to spill his blood. The rose is almost in full bloom to symbolize that he is ready and mature enough to accept the responsibilities required of him.

The couple stands facing each other.  First, with a thorn on the stem of his red rose, he pricks her middle finger and lets two drops of blood fall on the white petals of her rose.  Then, she offers the thorns of her rose to him and he pricks his own finger,  letting two drops fall on her rose, one alone and one on top of a drop of her blood. Next, the two press their fingers together so that they are joined by blood.

Mixing the petals signifies the mixing and blending of their lives. Couples often keep them in a decorative jar, once the petals have dried completely. Upon death, a portion of those petals is placed with the body to show a bond that will extend beyond the grave. Legends are told of roses that have sprung up on the graves of couples who have loved so strongly during their lifetime that even in death they sent back evidence of their everlasting love in the form of roses that bloom again on the graves.

Pricking the finger and the drops of blood on the white rose is symbolic of the loss of her virginity and the blood she has shed to give herself completely to him. In pricking his own finger, the dominant shows his willingness to shed his blood to protect and defend her by virtue of his ownership. The drops on her rose show that vividly; the drop that falls on her blood covers it and blends with it, thus indicating their union.

Pressing their wounds from the thorns together and allowing their blood to mix joins them as strongly as their own family bloodlines while exchanging the roses signifies that they have given themselves to one another.

The official performing the ceremony takes a light chain of 6 feet or so, and passes it quickly through the flame of a candle, and wraps it around the couple before asking the Dominant if it is his wish to take the submissive as his own.  Then, the submissive is asked if she is willing to obey her dom and do as he commands.  Next, the chain is then removed and wrapped in a cloth and the roses are brought together, letting their blood merge before being given to the other.

The chain represents all the events that have led them to each other, and passing it through the flame symbolizes the purification of everything from their past, present, and into the future; all bad things are burned away, and only the good remains.

For the final step of this ceremony, the dom removes the old collar.  He takes the new collar, quickly passing it through the flame of the candle before placing it around her neck, showing that she is his and his alone for life.

In ancient times, the collar would have been made of metal and heated to a glow, and plunged into cold water to temper it after it was rid of all impurities. This action symbolized that all outside influences were burned away in the heat of his desire to protect and defend his submissive. The tempering of the metal that took place when plunged into cold water showed the strengthening of their commitment by submersion into the waters of life. 

Wrapping the chain around them gives a visual image of the binding together of two souls into one. This chain is never used for anything again, other than in a similar ceremony by the person who receives this chain as a gift.

I love the symbolism and subtle pageantry that goes into this ceremony, and as I look forward to the upcoming renewal of my contract and commitment to my dom, I am excited to discover what symbolisms of his own my dom has added.

I Breathe You In

I’m not afraid

to admit when I’m not okay.

When you wrap me in your arms, 

I breathe you in and just let go

You surround me with your love, 

I breathe you in; my walls come down

You heal my heart; I breathe you in-

in sweet surrender.

In just a few short weeks, Sir and I will have reached our one-year anniversary and will be taking the next step and moving from LDR to IRL. 

I must admit that I didn't think the day would get here.  At times it seemed as if we would never get here. Our visits were never long enough; Skyping was nice, but sometimes I just need my Dom's hand on my neck and tug on my hair.

Date nights that no longer span 700 miles...calling his name and hearing him answer from across the room...walking out hand in hand.  I look forward to the little things...the everyday things...and all the things that make him mine.