Bitter rejection

I woke up today sad.....feeling sad for myself...lost...bitter...defeated...i could not have what i wanted...not now...maybe never...but the chance ia there...but why can't i have it now...come on...57 years and i can't have what i want...then i caught a news clip...a four year old girl...cancer victim...had lost her hair...had not long to live possibly...she had been given a wig ..her cherrished hair...they had a video...the girl that she shared a room with...had just lost her hair...during the night... The girl crawled from her bed...removed her wig...and set it on the bed of the sleeping girl that just lost her hair...and i am sad...i despair...i am ashamed how weak i am next too her...strength is all around us...God..or Mother Earth...or whoever runs this circus....gives us great gifts...more than we deserve...cherrish them...dont become old and bitter seeking what u think u want...accept the simple gifts you are given....before its too late...

I once did sail the seas....

A pirates life for me....

Till mother drained the tub...

A childs life for me.....

I once fought a dragon....

The Slayer was my name...

Till father called my name...

The chores the life for me...

I once married a princess. .

A beauty dressed in silk..

Till the noon bell rang...

A students life for me...

I once became a king...

And sat upon my throne...

A toddler came a knocking....

A daddies life for me....

I once road a wild stallion...

Across the great high plains...

Till the fuel gauge ran too low..

A truckers life for me...

Today my dream is simple...

My vision a bit blurred...

I seek my loving angel...

A dreamers life for me...

Without light....

There is an empty void...

Without hope.....

There is only pain....

Without faith....

Evil will reign....

Without truth... 

Liars have there day... 

Without surrender..  

There is only death...

And without you....

..................................  

Today i saw....

Great hope.....

In her eyes.....

Today i saw....

Her need for truth....

Her desire to trust....

In her eyes....

Today i saw....

No sign of pain....

No broken dreams....

No disappointment....

In her eyes....

Today i saw...

The wish to please....

The gentle heart....

The hope of love...

The dream to be needed...

In her eyes...

Today i saw....

My want...

My needs....

My lust...

My weakness...

My strength.....

In her eyes....

Today i saw...

A dreamer fall in love...

In her eyes....

Devil when you come for me....

Look high...Do not glance low...

You will not find me trembling there....

But standing strong and firm....

A dagger in between my teeth...

My fists a ball of rage.... 

Pilgrim when you come for me....

Do not place doubt upon my faith....

I may not bow to your own God... 

I bow to none that claim the day....

But worship love and forgive all pain....

Peasant when you come for me....

Don't beg upon a knee....

But rise instead....

To share my food....

And help me to be sane....

Angel when you come for me.. 

Come freely and remain....

Don't mend my wounds....

I need the pain....

Your kindness wins the day...

So love when you come for.....

No i pray...

So love when will you come for me....

That....will be my day....

Swing the gallows low.....

Do not miss there mark....

The pain will quickly end...

No question in my heart....

Swing the gallows low...

To smother the small spark....

Time will travel on...

Our souls will quickly part...

Swing the gallows low....

To ease the tempting dawn....

Peace will come again...

Faint dreams are torn apart...

Swing the gallows low....

But guard her from the sight...

All that may have been...

That life may restart....

Swing the gallows low....

I fade into the night...

But fear not the end...

To ease my beating heart...

Swing the gallows low...

Embrace the distant light....

Yes swing the gallows low..

That hope may fade from sight....

I wonder....

If I held your hand.....
Would I see your soul....

If I brought you flowers....
Would I see your smile....

If I touched your heart....
Would you be my friend....

If I cried....
Would you dry my tears....

If I was weak...
Would you bring me bread...

If I said I love you....
Would you still be there.....

I wonder.....

The waves did pound.....

The demons wailed....

I struggled on....

I had not failed....

But i was weak....

A fractured soul....

They left me all...

It took its toll...

But not her...

Not that one...

She turned aside...

But did not run...

For i was blessed..

While she was cursed...

My life was hard...

But not the worst...

Each time i fell....

She would pause...

Though my own fear...

Was the cause...

And on that day...

When i felt dead....

A hand reached down...

To lift my head....

The ship did push.....

On thru the night....

Till my shining beacon...

Came into sight....

For i felt weak....

In the pale moonlight...

But her inner strength...

It shined so bright....

Here i stand.....

Upon the crest...

My chest heaves....

My breath a mist....

My heart pounds....

I look about...

But no.....

Where is my prize.....

I came so far....

I gave my all....

Or so it was in vain...

My ego raged....

My all was not....

My boasts shallow...

I overcame nothing...

But foolish pride...

Now i kneel...

I gaze ahead...

The eyes in the mist...

They call....

Now i truly live....

Words are fodder....

A fools play...

For my wounds do bleed...

But not as my heart...

If i do not rise...

I am them...

The shallow....

The vain....

So i rise...

To live i must....

To my dying breath....

Ok...sorry but I'm in story mode...a battle called Cold Harbor.....Grant crossed a river into an open field..in classic Napoleonic fashion... Lees men were entrenched on 3 sides...it was slaughter... 5000 down in minutes... The men panicked.. Started to flee..Grant met them at the river..sword in hand..they reorganized and set up defenses...earlier Union generals would have retreated...not Grant...he stood his ground.. Didnt sleep.. Encouraged his men..lee didnt attack... He knew Grant...the following evening was calm...an aide searched for Grant...he found him behind a tree...kneeling...head in his hands...weeping uncontrollably