Phew it’s been a WEEK I’m a full time college student it’s my senior year, and I work two jobs one full time one part. I am about to have too full time jobs. It’s the reason I took the summer off to explore the world of bdsm because I knew there was no way I could do it and go to school there is only 24 hours in a day and I get about 3 -4 hours of actual sleep. I had a 36 hour day because of my jobs and a project I had to get done and underestimated how long it would take. My second job is with kids and when I tell you my tank was completely empty it was empty. I’ve felted drained and completely useless. It’s impossible to pour any part of yourself into something or someone if you yourself are running on fumes.
To refill my cup I usually go on a day trip a simple one maybe just an hour or two away. Enjoying a nice view and complete silence alone. Only hearing the snap of my camera every so often. But my two jobs, college work load and Covid restrictions made this much harder.
I truly believe being kind is the best way to live but when my cup is empty it’s ten times harder it feels like everyone needs something, nothing is going right, and matter how many task I complete there is ten more waiting for me. This makes me want to completely lose it. Ive felt this way serval times this week but I still held it together. It’s not the fault or the guest where I work or the kids that I’m drained.
I was cleaning my room to try and restore some type of order to my chaotic life. When I picked up a little to big booklet I was sent with my Alice in wonderland themed onesie that I had purchased for a play party. I loved that onesie and thought huh let’s browse the site and see if I find anything I like. Minutes in I found a onesie, pacifiers, the cutest stuffie, and I also ordered a coloring book and pencils (pictures below) from another site I like to coloring and I hear it can be relaxing so I thought why not.
It’s not traveling and that will always feed my soul but it’s the next best thing all items should be here by Friday and it’s my day off from my full time job so I’m very excited. Im searching for a cute pink fuzzy oversized blanket and I think that will fully tie everything together. Self care is the best care and if you aren’t taking care of you it’s impossible to be of use to anyone else for any reason.
