Highway to hell

It’s been so long since I last wrote one of these. I haven’t had much to say lately to anyone that isn’t myself so really haven’t been in the mood to share. 
So a bit of what I’ve been up to. I started cosplaying at the start of this year and it’s pretty fun. I’ve been doing original characters instead of official cosplays since they give me more freedom to make a story and therefore release some of my creative energy. Official cosplays are also easily over $100 and I’ve yet to learn how to make them myself but it is something I plan to learn in the future. 
I’m starting to think about giving up in finding a sissy that can fit a kawaii aesthetic as it seems most here don’t know what it means and can’t take the time to Google it. 
I recently changed jobs and I am now working on my field of study. 
I’ve read a lot of books lately and spent time on spicy booktok adding to my reading pile like a crazy person. 
I think that’s about it 🤔 the rest of my life has been the same. 
And here’s some of the cosplays I’ve done 👀

I’ve only ever done this once before when I first joined the cage and for the ones that have been here longer... you guys probably know I’m a sucker for challenges. So go ahead and ask me anything 🤗 I might be willing to answer more than one question per person

Happy Halloween! May you all have an amazing Halloween night and hope you all party like crazy 😜 

Everyone at one point or another in their life has felt a lot of lust and frankly I’m not an exception to that. I’m an extremely lustful person and even more so when the other person is beautiful. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a very vain person and I will never deny it as I’m no hypocrite. Some might be wondering by now where I’m going with this so I’ll explain. 

I had a sub a few months back that was very attractive physically. His personality is that of a golden retriever and frankly he reminds me of one too. Very dull personality if I say so with very little in the way of conversation. Those kind of people I’m tempted to hit it and quit it but he’s so damn pretty that I kept him around for a while. I ended up leaving him as he was always too busy with his vanilla life and didn’t want to make much time for his bdsm life and he stopped listening to me as his domme. I punished him for going against me in multiple ways but none stuck and at that point I simply tell him that he either wants to give me his submission or not and if he doesn’t want to then there’s no point in the dynamic. The dynamic ended and a few months after that he comes around wanting to belong to me. Now this is where the lust comes. He’s gorgeous. Gorgeous face, gorgeous body and even a beautiful dick(those are rare I swear). For a moment my vanity battled against my dominant side. My vanity wanted him as I do list for him while my dominant side will never take back a sub that doesn’t follow commands. I rejected him which sucks for my lustful side but it is what it is. 
now there’s another gorgeous sub that looks very much like zayn malik and that man is beautiful. Very nice personality and actually had things to talk about but as he lives in Europe there’s a time difference and our previous interactions wouldn’t last long. I never had a dynamic with him and we were just talking. I might have pushed him away because of the time zone despite him always making an effort to talk to me and even staying up until really late. He’s come back again wanting a dynamic and while I very badly want him because he gets my lustful side going I have rejected him as anything other than a friend. The time difference is about 7 hours and I don’t like that. I like his personality, I like the sub he could be to me, I like staring at his gorgeous face and frankly I want to see him naked. He’s a tough decision for me and I might have ignore him for about a month trying to decide what to do. My decision was that my hormones don’t control me. There’s times I wish my hormones controlled me. He’s gorgeous and I just want to mess him up and selfishly keep him, growl at anyone trying to get close to him and cut his wings so he can’t fly away from me but I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want my selfishness keeping someone I know I won’t be able to make something work with. 
So damn you lust. You are the bane of my existence and the only thing that truly makes me regret rejecting beautiful men. I just want to collect them... and they are very much aware of it. I don’t believe in lying about that after all. 
Does anyone else have moments like this? Wanting to keep someone because you lust after them despite knowing things won’t work out? Do you ever feel like getting back with that very beautiful ex despite knowing things will end the same way?

Pray for the wicked by Panic! At the Disco

Songs:

(Fuck a) Silver Lining

Say Amen (Saturday Night)

Hey Look Ma, I Made It

High Hopes

Roaring 20s

Dancing’s Not a Crime 

One of the Drunks

The Overpass

King of the Clouds

Old Fashioned

Dying in LA

my favorite song in the whole album is

Brendon Urie’s vocals are on a whole other level..

So I was going through blogs and Max Sterne had his blog called Move it and it reminded me of this song that is always in my mind 

I love king julien dancing and I always laugh so hard watching this video 😂😂

I have three tattoos but the third one is on my lower back and isn’t easy to take a picture of. It’s a tattoo of the Cheshire Cat 🤷‍♀️
The other two are easy to take pictures of so here they are 

Life is made up of regrets

of wishes that were never fulfilled

of broken promises and broken hearts

Life is made up of things we never did

of tears and pain

of anger and hatred

Life is made up of moving on

of learning to live with the regrets

of making new dreams 

of picking up the pieces 

Life is made up of the things we did

of laughter and love

of joy and peace

Life is what we make it out to be

Of beginnings and ends

Of life and death

and everything in between

Life is... joy and pain

This is a post I’ve been meaning to write along with the story of hades and Persephone(I’m sorry Eros, I only remember when I chat with you 😭). Soo yeah let’s shafts with this. 

We ask ourselves all the type who the hell we are and some people will give you an answer. The answers are usually never truly right or truly wrong. Personally, I can only tell you who I am right now and what has had little to no change in who I am as a person but who I am right now isn’t who I will be tomorrow, in a week, a month, a year, a decade from now. We change who we are constant. We adapt to our environment and modify the way we approach the world. We also have different sides of us with different people, strangers, friends, family, significant others. In a way we are always wearing masks and are rarely ever one person. I can tell you all, I have different facets to my personality. I will at times be very silly and other times I will be so serious and unemotional that I won’t even understand the point of being silly. Other times I’ll be the life of the part and a rag of sunshine while other times I’ll be like the coldest and darkest winter. I’ve changed many many times in my life and every day I change. Lewis Carroll’s had it right when he said “I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then”. We are constant a new person no matter what. We won’t always realize something changed since they are at times very small and somewhat insignificant changes but we still changed and we always will. I believe that even on my deathbed I still won’t truly know who I really am. 
So every time I ask “who the hell am I?” My answer has now become “I am me, the past, the present and the future.”