Spirituality and Dominance

It is rather interesting where lines of similarity can be drawn between two seemingly different things that at first glance may appear to have virtually nothing in common and yet almost everything has a commonality somewhere along the line.

For over a decade I have practiced various martial arts. Among the styles was jujitsu. (Most know of the art and I have a feeling there are more than a few practitioners in here as well, so I don’t think I’ll have to explain it 😉). Being able to contort and grapple and manipulate the human body while nearly being controlled yourself is an art all of if it’s own. Jujitsu focuses the mind and body on how best to use the body’s joints and limbs to bend and twist a person to the near limit without inflicting long lasting harm. It is a powerful and effective art. I began using jujitsu in my bdsm lifestyle. I learned how far the body can bend before pain can result in injury. I learned great arm and leg locks that can be converted into rope tying positions. In my aspect of BDSM which teeters around mid-core sadism and masochism; the pain inflicted upon the body I learned where pleasure and pain mix. How I can inflict pain that causes pleasure. I learned it was a very fine line but I found great pleasure in walking that line...and even greater pleasure in experiencing my submissive’s pleasure. When in combat I felt a heart pounding joy and pleasure and in fact it was not completely unlike the pleasure of inflicting pain during bdsm. It’s a fine line but when walked, you can see the commonalities between martial arts and bdsm...between combat and sex.

As I said previously; I live a spiritual lifestyle and practice more than one spiritual belief. Among them is Wicca/Paganism. Yes, I am a witch. For those that might not know much about it; (in a brief summary) being pagan and practicing Wicca is about worshipping nature and connecting to the elements and the universe. It is about embracing both feminine and masculine aspects of one’s self. Wicca is something that hardly sees the right side of society. Far too many people believe the negative aspects of the lies that have been spread about Wiccans. When people hear Wicca they often wrinkle their nose and step away like they just witnessed something atrocious. It takes a great deal of courage to wear the pentacle out in the world and come out to the public that you practice a spiritual craft that few truly understand. I am proud to be a pagan and it is an integral part of who I am. 

Living bdsm is not something that one just comes out with. People often give this wide eyed expression as though you just told them that you killed someone or something. Their minds can’t or won’t comprehend the idea that there are other ways to engage in sensual/sexual contact beyond thrusting one’s privates together. Bdsm has hardly received it’s positive light from the world even though there are hundreds who have attested to the positive results of bdsm. For some Bdsm has allowed others to gain some modicum of control to their lives. For others it has shined a light of change for them...to grow...to change and enhance the person they are. It allows people to embrace their feminine and masculine sides without guilt. 

Paganism and Bdsm share the principles of courage and growth in the darkness of society. Those who practice both (like myself) have the chance to experience the spiritual enhancement of feeling the raw masculine and feminine energies raging at the peak of both. To channel the forces of magick and the divine to fuel spells during the release of pain and or pleasure is powerful and purposeful. 

Spirituality is something that is open minded and passionate and ever expanding. It has no set shape...no set design or borders. It is deeper than the ocean and as vast as the sky that touches the space beyond. Spirituality has often been accepted by most...I dare not say all. However there subsidiary groups and areas within a spirituality that do not get the acceptance others do. Most of the time it is due to lack of understanding or fear of the dogma that surrounds the titles and names behind the spiritual groups. Practicing any spiritual art requires a level of discipline to learn and grow the art of your chosen path. To learn the words, actions, rituals and formations takes time and energy.

BDSM and fetish/kink has rarely ever seen the light of day in public acceptance. However it has more respect and more passion, a greater level of trust and understanding than most vanilla relationships may ever know. There are hidden depths to bdsm that scarcely reach the ears of the world. It certainly isn't just about domination and submission. There are hidden depths of empathy and compassion, oceans of lust hidden beneath deeper depths of love and trust. It takes a great deal of trust to allow someone to control you (to whatever capacity that might entail) it takes trust on both ends. It also takes a great deal of discipline. A dominant doesn't flail a flogger around mindlessly. They flog their submissive like a painter uses a paint brush.  Each stroke is controlled and precise. Each flogging is a hidden message of love, of discipline or some other emotion. The submissive has to remain disciplined just as much. They must retain the discipline from their dominant and retain their own disciplinary reasons day to day. 

Martial Arts has been accepted by mass public and society. Many have devoted their lives to it others simply train and practice for sport or hobby or something else. However there was a time when martial Arts was looked down upon. It too had its dark areas. Martial Arts can often be seen as a sport or something as a side project. Martial Arts has deeper hidden  levels that many don't recognize. To train in martial Arts is to hone not just the body but the mind and spirit. To remain disciplined through pain and exhaustion. To remain loyal and diligent through hours...months...decades of tireless training. To learn...to teach...to heal and to hurt. 

These three things (spirituality, bdsm and martial arts) have three very important things in common. They require discipline, an open mind and heart and have greater depths than most realize. They are all ways of life. A lifestyle. Not a hobby, not some activity for the simple minded. No, they are lifestyles. I live all three simultaneously.