Luna Carruthers: The CAGE Kinky Proust Questionnaire
Luna Carruthers embraced submission over 18 years ago and loves service and protocol in her M/s dynamic with her husband. In play, she’s a masochistic milkless hucow, large object anal lover, and size queen. She is the founder of Submissive Guide (https://submissiveguide.com), a leading BDSM community focusing on practical knowledge to help submissives of all variations live their best lives. Subguide’s Patreon community helps her produce monthly podcasts, articles, freebies, ecourses, and new books.
What is your greatest fear within a D/s dynamic?
My greatest fear within a D/s dynamic is growing apart and not having enough compatibility to remain together. But that’s a fear I think all people in relationships have. We grow as people, we mature and change, and the things that interest us also evolve.
In what way has your interest in BDSM shaped your personality?
I feel that my interest and participation in BDSM and the BDSM community have opened my mind to a wider range of acceptance and understanding of people. That openness I feel shines through my behavior and attitude toward others in every facet of my life, no matter where I interact with others. I’m kinder, more polite, more patient and more understanding.
What trait do you most deplore in other kinky people?
I deplore the sub-sect of people who think that their way of doing BDSM is the right way, the only way, the best way, and they don’t accept any other form of BDSM experience.
From whom did you learn the most about BDSM?
It wasn’t one singular person. I learned a lot from the local munch groups that I participated in. All my questions were respected, and answers and advice were given freely. I had a lot of wonderful viewpoints to start forming my own opinions. The wealth of knowledge that was available to me, from people with two years and with twenty, built the foundation of my knowledge and my life-long hunger to continue learning and then educate others on what I’ve learned.
What has been your biggest kinky extravagance to date?
KnyghtMare and I went to a regional kink convention several years ago, and at a vendor there, we fell in love with a pair of luxurious finger floggers. They are the most glorious purple color and feel amazing!
What is your current state of mind in regard to BDSM?
Cautious. I’m watching the news related to LGBTQ+ to reflect on how social status can change so quickly. It’s scary how dangerous it is to live in some areas right now. Being kinky in the US and the world can be just as dangerous because you aren’t following mainstream/traditional lifestyles.
What do you consider to be the most overrated virtue in kinky people?
The most overrated virtue is that playing harder is somehow better. We’re constantly comparing ourselves to others who can play harder, do more extreme play, and who can push their boundaries more than they can. Extreme sadists and masochists, intense bondage enthusiasts, or taboo kink participants are often elevated as the people to emulate.
So people forget why they started exploring kink. You don’t have to play hard to be kinky. It’s about enjoying the experience, not playing harder than the person you watched at the last play party.
On what occasion would you lie to a D/s partner?
The only occasion where this would be okay for me is if it were a negotiated play scene where lying was part of the session.
What technical BDSM skill have you mastered that you are most proud of?
I don’t feel I’ve mastered anything. There is always more to learn. I’m not an expert, I’m an explorer!
What is your favourite quality in a submissive?
Eagerness, followed closely by curiosity. Nothing is more beautiful than a submissive who wants to be submissive and eagerly complies with a Dominant’s wishes.
What is your favourite quality in a dominant?
Patience. The best Dominants I’ve encountered know that learning new behaviors and habits takes time and allows for mistakes, while a submissive learns. They nurture patience in the process, making them appear more open to change and prepared for any outcome.
What words or phrases do you most overuse in regard to BDSM?
The phrase I use a lot is “take care of the property,” and it is my submissive motto. As an educator for submissives, I often have to remind myself and others that the priority is to take care of yourself and nurture who you are first.
Who or what has been the greatest love of your life in kink?
My husband is the most amazing love of my life. He is also my Dominant partner. We’ve been together for almost 20 years!
In which BDSM dynamic have you been the most fulfilled?
I feel the most fulfilled in a 24/7 Master/slave dynamic.
What BDSM related skill would you most like to learn?
N/A
If you could change one thing about your interest in BDSM, what would it be?
I would like to trust the process and surrender so much easier than I do. My submission would be fuller and stronger if I could do that.
What do you consider your greatest achievement in your exploration of BDSM?
My greatest achievement to date is the size I’ve been able to stretch my anus to take bigger and bigger toys! I recently crossed 11 inches in circumference.
If you could die and comeback to have a kinky experience as a different person or object, what would it be?
I'd like to be non-female. See what another gender's experience would be like.
Where would you consider to be the perfect place to live a kinky lifestyle?
The perfect place does not exist
What is your most treasured possession from your exploration of kink?
I’d have to say my first collar has a lot of memories connected to it. Not only that, but it was the declaration that my life would be forever changed. And it’s opened a whole new world for me.
As a kinky person, what do you regard as the lowest depths of misery?
I used to believe it was disappointing my Dominant, but I think now it was the Pandemic and the fate of many groups and events that could never be held and some that may never be revived.
How would you guess others would describe you as a BDSM practitioner?
I’ve been described as an old-school high protocol slave, masochist, and service submissive.
What quality do you most value in your kinky friends?
Compassion. We all live different lives, and being able to connect with someone else or at least accept that their experience is worth sharing is so valuable.
What word or phrase do you believe to be most overused when it comes to BDSM?
The words “real” and “true” when used to compare what one person does vs another. That’s not “real” BDSM, or you’re not a “true” Dominant/submissive. These terms do more damage than good, and if we could all stop trying to fluff our egos, we’d get along better.
What is your favourite kinky book?
Conquer Me by Kacie Cunningham
What is your favourite BDSM tool?
Canes and rods
Which fictional character would you most like to have a D/s experience with?
Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones
As a kinky person, with which fictional character do you most identify?
Robin from The Marketplace series by Laura Antoniou
Do you have a literary quote or piece of poetry that inspires your kinky life
“A slave's life is mostly composed of patience and study. Yes, study. If not with actual books, then following the example of greater, senior slaves. Or learning every nuance of their owner's character, so that they can more completely and seamlessly offer themselves at the right time and in the right manner.” -- Laura Antoniou
What song describes your attitude towards BDSM?
I don't have one.
What is your favourite sensory experience in a scene?
I love to be overloaded, filled with so much sensation that my body and mind can not process them all. It can be pain or pleasure, stress or touch, or all of the above. When I’m overloaded with sensation I can do nothing but surrender myself to the feeling, and however my body and mind will respond to it.
What is your greatest regret in regard to your exploration of BDSM?
I regret the risks I took as a novice when meeting people for the first time and playing with them without knowing them. Frenzy had me in its grips, and I wasn’t listening to my head. I’ve suffered injury and blackmail from people that, if vetted at all, would never have had the chance to do that to me.
If you could die in the throes of a kinky scene, how would you like to go?
KnyghtMare is creating a “machine” that will force orgasms and pleasure from me while I am unable to escape. He’s got plans for programming fucking machines, vibrators, video goggles, and various other tools to overwhelm my senses and make me a helpless continuous orgasm meant to suffer at his whim. I’d love to go out that way.
What is your motto?
Be creative. Invent a sexual perversion.
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The original Proust Questionnaire was a series of questions answered by the French writer Marcel Proust and included in a "confessional album", a parlour game popular among Victorians. You may have seen variations of The Proust Questionnaire on the American television series, Inside The Actors Studio, or in the back pages of Vanity Fair Magazine. THE CAGE kinky version is designed to reveal something of the subject's personality and relationship with kink, fetish, and BDSM.