Go Deeper with Strapon Play

A practical guide to exploring strap-on sex

By CAGE Staff(staff) November 11, 2025

If you've been around kinky and sexual communities for a bit, you've probably heard of strap-on sex or pegging. In it, someone straps a dildo onto their body in order to slide that dildo into another person.

Sounds straight-forward, right? Surprisingly, there's a lot of little intricacies involved in having a great time with strap-on sex and pegging. Let's go through some of it together.

Why Use a Strap-On?

Realistically, you don't really “need” to strap a dildo onto your body in order to use a dildo. Most people's hands are fully capable of pushing a dildo into an orifice. So why go through all of the effort of strapping it onto a body before you decide to use it?

Everyone has their own unique reasons for wanting to explore strap-on sex or pegging, but some common reasons are:

It feels more realistic. Strapping a dildo onto the body replicates traditional “intercourse” better than simply using a dildo and a hand.
It feels more “intimate”. Having your full body weight pressed up against another person can feel more vulnerable and passionate than simply sliding a dildo in and out of your partner. While you can look into each other's eyes with either version, your full body moving against theirs while doing it can feel more all-encompassing than the sensation of a single dildo.
It offers gender affirmation. For couples who may be exploring strap-on sex or pegging to feel more in-line with how they'd like their body to feel, strapping on a dildo can make more sense than using hands.

Selecting a Strap-On Harness

The strap-on harness is your intermediary between your chosen dildo and your body. An ill-fitting strap-on harness can make you cry in frustration, and a well-fitting one can make you feel like a superhero.

I know, that's a lot of pressure on a strip of fabric, isn't it?

But it's true! The object that connects the dildo to your body will make a large difference in how enjoyable the resulting play is. Not only does it change whether you feel sexy wearing the harness, but your choice of harness also changes how easily you can get strapped up, how much sensation you'll get from the experience, whether you'll be able to easily get the dildo into the place it's going, and more.

(For the larger bodies among us, don't worry! Hip harnesses are now offered in larger sizes than they used to be a decade ago, and you can find premade harnesses that'll fit up to 75" hips now. If that's not a good fit for you, quite a few small businesses can custom-fit them larger.)

Before selecting a harness, I'd recommend thinking about:

Your Size. In particular, you'll need to know your hip measurements to shop for a hip harness. Thigh and waist measurements can also be helpful. If a potential strap-on harness doesn’t list the sizes it’ll fit, don’t bother with it.
The Fit. What style and colors will feel sexy for you?
The Stability. Are you trying to keep a dildo very securely pressed against your body? If so, you want a jock-style harness. Are you okay with more wiggle from your dildo in exchange for an easy, pull-on harness? Panty harnesses might be for you.
Your Body Changes. Some strap-on harnesses are more adjustable than others. If your body regularly goes through large circumference changes, you may want to purchase a nice harness with future-friendly use.
The Price. Nice harnesses tend to be pretty pricey. Does that fit into your budget right now? If not, is there a lower-priced option that might work instead?
Cleaning Concerns. How much effort do you want to put into cleaning your harness? Will you use this with multiple partners? Some harnesses are made from machine-washable materials while others are non-sanitizable and sensitive to cleaning products.
The Dildos You Want to Use. If your potential strap-on harness uses interchangeable O-rings, you're probably good here. You can swap out O-rings easily on the fly. If your harness has built-in, not-changeable O-rings, though, you'll want to make sure your harness can use the dildos you had in mind.

In general, it's worth spending a bit more on the harness to ensure a comfortable fit that makes you feel sexy. Cheap harnesses can be a good way to experiment and see if strap-on sex is an activity for you, but they don't tend to be the sexiest or sturdiest designs. Keep that in mind if the harness fit is what makes you think strap-on sex or pegging isn't really a good fit.

Selecting a Dildo for Strap-On Sex

While the wearer's preferences should be kept in mind while choosing a dildo for strap-on sex, the dildo you'll choose will primarily be based off of the receiver.

This is because strap-on sex is entirely a non-starter if the receiving partner can't fit the dildo inside of them in the first place.

So before you get too excited for strap-on sex and purchase a bunch of supplies, I recommend talking to the receiving partner. How long of a toy do they want to receive? How thick of a toy are they comfortable receiving?

Whether you're sliding into a vagina or a butt will also matter. You'll likely meet more resistance from strong sphincter muscles when sliding into a butt. This means that a firmer dildo might be a better choice; it can better hold its shape under the pressures and demands of strap-on sex.

The visuals of your prospective dildo also matter too. If one of you is really turned off by realistic-looking penises, buying a dildo that looks like a real penis is probably not the best fit.

So before selecting the dildo you're going to use for strap-on sex, I'd recommend thinking about:

The Size: What is the ideal thickness or length for the receiving partner?
The Material: Is it made from a body-safe material? If using it for multiple partners or multiple holes, can you sanitize it between uses?
The Look: Do you both like the look of it?
The Density: Is it firm? Super soft? If you're playing anally, a firmer dildo can help you get the tip in.
The Price: Your dream dildo may be out of your price range right now. Is there a cheaper alternative that might fit better?
The Special Features: What special add-ons are you looking for? Common ones include Vac-U-Lock bases, vibrations, weighted designs, built-in thrusting, p-spot or g-spot curves, and more.

Luckily, one of the fun things about strap-on sex is that you can swap out the dildo at a moment's notice. If your preferences change in the future or you guess your preferences incorrectly, it's a minor swap to try out a whole new dildo. Getting to try lots of new things is part of the fun, so don't worry about it too much!

Strap-On Harness Options

The “typical” strap-on harness is a hip harness. This hip harness wraps around the wearer's hips, placing the dildo right on top of where a biological penis would hang out. If the wearer owns a vulva, this can sit right on top of the pubic mound. If the wearer owns a penis, the harness may need to be worn higher or lower to avoid placing the dildo right on top of the penis and balls.

However, for people looking for more options, a hip harness isn't the only option. As the sex toy industry answers the call from people looking for new ways to play, there are different harnesses you can experiment with.

Other dildo harness types can include:

Thigh harnesses
Foot or boot harnesses
Mouth harnesses
Forehead harnesses
Chest harnesses
Hand harnesses (to relieve the “grip” required for long marathon sessions)

If you've tried a hip harness and haven't been a fan (or want to try something new), trying one of these other harness types can be a fun way to mix it up. If you’re happy with the dildo you have, you simply have to pick up the harness itself!

Kinky Ways to Use Strap-On Harnesses

You didn't think we were going to end this article with just the sexual basics, did you? If the idea of strapping on a dildo sounds appealing to you, we'd like to introduce you to some kinky ideas for playing with your newfound interest:

Strap a dildo onto the top of a boot. Require the bottom to straddle the boot, humping your leg until they're done. Afterwards, make them clean and shine the boot, removing all of their own fluids.
Strap a dildo onto your chest. Have the receiving partner sit on top of your chest, riding the dildo. Use a sex toy on their available bits, enjoying the front-row visual as you pleasure the person riding the dildo.
Take your favorite sex position and swap it, having the usually-receptive partner strap on a dildo to “give” penetration to the usually-penetrating partner. This change in roles within a very familiar position can be a new way to experience a favorite!
Explore a double-ended dildo with the wearer sliding one end of the dildo into themselves with the other sliding into the receiver (with support of a hip harness!). While this isn’t usually enough to be orgasmic for the wearer, it can still provide some sensations for them!
Strap a dildo onto your thigh while sitting on the couch in front of the TV. Put on some porn, and have the receiving partner straddle the dildo while watching the TV. The harness wearer can now pleasure their partner (with one hand) and themselves with the other. Mutual masturbation with a kinky twist!

Mistress Kay lives in the world of sexuality and kink. With a house that's quickly running out of space for things that aren't sex books and sex toys, she spends what free time she has writing femdom help articles ( http://kinky-world.net/category/bdsm-advice/femdom-advice/ ), trying the latest and greatest in sex toys, and exploring the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at https://kinky-world.net/ .

All THE CAGE Magazine articles, including this one, were written without the use of AI.