Go Deeper with Penis Extenders
Human biology is a fickle thing. When you want to run harder, it insists on getting light-headed. When you're trying to watch what you eat, it insists on being hungry. And sometimes, when you want to slide into a partner, your erection insists on staying flaccid.
Unfortunately, "forcing" our bodies' biology to match exactly what we want still isn't an exact science. The latest weight-loss drug aims to curb cravings, and that "little blue pill" aims to force your shaft into action. Drugs, however, come with side effects, on-going costs, and a need for a doctor's prescription.
Some of those non-drug solutions, in the world of sex, are strap-on toys and penis extenders.
Why Use a Helping Hand?
Unfortunately, strap-on toys and penis extenders get a bad rap. As a society, so much pressure is placed on the erection. If it isn't erect, the penis owner "must not be turned on". And in a society that assumes masculinity is tied to how often they're "getting some", this can be a dangerous slope. It means, when biology isn't cooperating, it can lead to shame, embarrassment, fights, and more.
Penis extenders and strap-on toys don't really fix that. It's a cultural and societal expectation that needs to be solved - not one that simply strapping on a toy can help with.
What penis extenders and strap-on toys can solve is the immediate physical challenge; these toys can make penetration possible in situations where the penis may not be hard enough to slide inside. When used intentionally, this can reduce some of the shame and frustration of fighting with biology and allow couples to still enjoy intercourse regardless of biology.
(Really, when you think about it, using penis extenders is similar to using a bottle of lube for vaginal sex when natural lubrication just isn't cooperating. Biology isn't all that reliable!)
Using penis extenders or a strap-on harness can:
- Allow for intercourse regardless of biology. When the body isn't playing along with your mental demands, slipping on one of these toys can still ensure seamless play without frustration.
- Offer a non-drug option for intercourse on-demand. Drugs require on-going costs and have side effects.
- Allow new sensations for both of you. Each one of these toys is differently shaped from your own unique anatomy. Some toys offer internal textures for the wearer to feel too. This can provide new pleasures for both partners.
- Provide a new experience. Some couples still use penis extenders or strap-on toys regardless of erection. These toys offer a new experience for you to explore, and that can be a lot of fun.
- Extend the time of intercourse. Some penis extenders reduce the sensation that the wearer feels, requiring them to increase their thrust count in order to achieve orgasm. This makes intercourse go on longer.
- Add extra sensations. If you get a penis extender or strap-on toy that offers vibrations or a clitoral-focused design, the toy can also provide extra pleasure to the wearer's partner. Internal textures on the extender can add intensity for the wearer too.
- Remove all sensations. If you're using a penis extender for kink purposes, you can specifically select one that provides no sensation to the wearer. For femdom and kink use, this allows a receiving partner to enjoy penetration while simultaneously making the extender wearer do all the work and receive none of the sensation.
With Erection or Without?
There's one big thing to know about penis extenders and strap-on toys: they are usually specifically built to be worn with or without an erection. Very few penis extenders or strap-on toys can work for both, and each toy will be unique.
Some toys are specifically crafted to be worn without an erection. These toys provide the firmness for you, offering a sturdy material that will provide the structure needed to slip inside someone. Depending on how they're set up, they may offer a slim internal chamber for your own flaccid shaft to rest inside, allowing the penis extender to literally slip overtop of your own shaft for natural-feeling use.
Other toys are crafted to be worn with an erection. These toys do not offer any sort of rigidity. Your erect shaft is supposed to be the "backbone" of the toy. These toys are softer and squishier than their flaccid-requiring counterparts. That's because your own shaft does all of the structural work, and the toy is simply resting on top of the backbone you've got going on there.
Trying to use a toy designed for the other state may not work. If you try to slide a fully erect penis into an extender designed for flaccid use, you're probably going to find that it doesn't fit. If you try to add an erection-requiring extender onto your flaccid shaft, the extender is going to be too soft and squishy to achieve penetration without the backbone of an erection.
Because of this, it's important to know how you plan to use your penis extender and strap-on toy before you pick it up. You'll want to grab a toy that meets how you're envisioning a penis extender to fit into your bedroom.
Now Let's Talk the Receiving Partner
Some people wear strap-on toys and penis extenders for solo and masturbation use. It can be a blast to experience new sensations, and feeling an entirely new "shape" in a spot you've reached for thousands of times can be a real mental adventure too.
For most people, however, penis extenders or strap-on toys are usually coupled experiences. This means we should take the receiver's preferences into account here too.
That being said, pay very special attention to the measurements of the penis extender.
In order to make "room" for the wearer's shaft, many penis extenders or strap-on toys can get pretty darn thick. You are, essentially, sliding a second penis on top of your own penis. It's not unheard of for a penis extender to be over 2" in diameter while marketing itself as "familiar sizing for your lover". (For comparison, the average biological erection is only 1.5" in diameter.)
Often, couples may pick up a penis extender only to find that it's much too large to be comfortable for the receiver. Help circumvent that by paying attention to the measurements.
You'll also want to pay attention to the material. In general, if the penis extender does not require an erection for use, it's going to be made of a much firmer material. In many cases, a flaccid extender's material is plastic. That's because the sex toy material needs to be firm enough to hold its shape for penetration and, if it's hollow, firm enough to keep an internal chamber open for the wearer.
Many receiving partners can find plastic toys particularly unpleasant. They can be poke-y and unforgiving on the internal bits. Have a conversation with your partner about this before buying, and look for penis extender options that may cover that innermost firm core with something softer (like silicone or TPE).
Alternatively, if you're thinking you'll use your extender with an erection, penis extenders that require an erection are generally softer and squishier. They often use TPE or TPR material. They can get away with this soft, marshmallow-esque material because the erection is providing the rigidity; the material doesn't need to offer any. Extenders designed for use with erection can be an alternative for receiving partners who don't like rigid materials.
How to Bring Up Penis Extenders?
There are a lot of emotions wrapped up around erections for both receivers and the erection owners. It can be difficult to bring up the idea of using a penis extender. You might be worried about hurting someone's feelings, or you might worry that talking about penis extenders somehow implies negative things about yourself.
If strap-on toys or penis extenders are something you'd like to try, you might consider a joint sex toy shopping trip. Instead of having a specific conversation about penis extenders, this can let you "unexpectedly" find yourself in the penis extenders area where you can have a conversation about wanting to try something new. Plus, there are hundreds of thousands of different sex toys out there, and it can be genuinely fun to do some window shopping!
It goes without saying, but no blame, shame, or embarrassment should be placed on anyone involved when discussing the use of penis extenders or strap-on toys. They're simply another tool to connect with your partner and try new sensations. Nothing more, nothing less.
Human bodies are fickle things, and we're all just doing our best to make them behave on a daily basis.
Mistress Kay lives in the world of sexuality and kink. With a house that's quickly running out of space for things that aren't sex books and sex toys, she spends what free time she has writing femdom help articles ( http://kinky-world.net/category/bdsm-advice/femdom-advice/ ), trying the latest and greatest in sex toys, and exploring the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at https://kinky-world.net/ .
All THE CAGE Magazine articles, including this one, were written without the use of AI.