Canada
Mid-30s, Searching for someone online to learn from and maybe more
TLDR: I'm a guy in his mid-30s and I'm looking for a woman who can help me explore submissive urges I think I've been repressing all my life. Maybe friends, maybe relationship, we'd see how we felt. I'm not rich, I'm not amazing looking, I'm not fresh out of high school. What I have to offer is that I'm smart, well-spoken, funny, and a good listener (And 6'2" and can cook). People enjoy spending time with me but I generally don't let a lot of people into my personal life. What I would like is someone with experience with these issues, who is more dominant, who can also string a sentence together. If that sounds interesting to you, keep reading as I'll fill in a little more backstory below.
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All my life I've been a people pleaser. I'm the kind of person who can't enjoy himself doing anything if I know someone else in the room isn't having a good time. I enjoy making other people happy. I had a great long-term relationship with a woman I was wild about, except one thing was missing. In bed I was always trying to give her what she wanted, which was a dominant, take-charge man. The problem was it felt fake to me, like I was always playing a role. Eventually, the spark fizzled out and we broke up. Since then I've been afraid of repeating that. I've formed some fantastic emotional relationships with women I adored, one very long-term one blooming out of a friendship, and every time it threatened to get physical I'd sabotage it. I've had multiple women literally begging me to have sex, and I was terrified of not stacking up.
During one of these relationships, the girl got drunk one night and started domming me verbally. Maybe she sensed something about me, I don't know. What I do know is I was shocked at how turned on it made me. Unfortunately, when she sobered up the next day she viewed it as a huge mistake that she was kind of disgusted by. I just kept quiet and wondered what it meant.
I hit my mid-30s, I've been through some trauma lately (But hasn't everybody?), I'm taking care of a widowed mother and although some aspects of my life are pretty good, I guess I'm having a near mid-life crisis when it comes to this. I don't want to keep letting people down, I don't want to feel like I don't even know myself, I don't want to keep breaking hearts and having my own broken. I want someone that can help me explore the thing that's missing. I think I'm submissive, the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I was raised to respect women as equals and when the other kids thought girls had cooties, they were my best friends. I always saw women as so strong to put up with the crap the world threw at them. And I have to admit, although no one in my life would ever think it, the idea of a woman in control turns me on enormously. I've always preferred eating pussy to getting oral myself, always preferred your pleasure to mine.
I'd like to get to know anyone online that knows what they're doing in these circles, who can lead me and help me explore and teach me if need be. In return I can tell you I'm a good listener and would be open to whatever you were looking for in a friendship or relationship as well. Plus hey, I've got a filthy mind and a lot of repressed energy to burn.
August 4, 2021 at 8:18 AM