Bedroom Only D/s

Bedroom Only D/s

SnappyJ​(sub female){Collared} • Jan 2, 2019

I'd love to hear from others with bedroom only D/s relationships, past or present. As in, not 24/7. You might have kids, or are just not interested in 24/7 D/s dynamics.

I'm wondering how you found a balance between your time as D/s and, well, not as D/s. How do you transition from one dynamic to the next? Do you prevent any sort of spill-over into your daily dynamic? Or do you encourage spill-over without becoming fully 24/7?

I know for everyone it is different, but I'm hoping to get some ideas as hubby and I struggle to find a place for D/s in our lives where 24/7 isn't possible.

TIA!

MasterBear​(other butch) • Jan 2, 2019

I am looking forward to responses as well!

JaimeJade​(sub female){BaronJ} • Jan 2, 2019

My hubs and I have two kids. We can’t do 24:7 ds therefore hubs bought me a necklace which, whenever I put it on, it tells him that I am submitting to him and that I want tasks, and playtime that day and we are not just hubs and wife. He has a ring, that whenever he wants control of me he will slip to me which informs me that I am under his control and that playtime will happen at some point that evening and to wait for him in sub position when he comes home from work. He also has another ring for me that he will slip on me to let me know I’m in trouble, or I have disobeyed him at some point and he will talk/punish me later on that eve.

I have daily rules and tasks and protocols that I follow daily regarding things like housework etc and at the end of the week if those things are completed to his standard then I am rewarded.

Hope this helps

SnappyJ​(sub female){Collared} • Jan 2, 2019

I like the idea of your necklace. Right now I don't have a way to let him know what I need without coming out and saying it, which makes me feel very UN sub-like. The necklace, or something similar, is a great way to pass that message along.

Thank you for sharing - very helpful!

Freya369 • Jan 2, 2019

Triple fab...way of doing it!

T slave​(sub female){Owned} • Jan 2, 2019

Interestingly my D/s is 24/7 even though our S/m play is restricted to the bedroom.

I still call him Sir in public always, He is the leader in all things in my life. i always ask permission before any of my daily tasks are preformed and this has been how it has always been, even in front of our children, family and friends.

It has just been accepted that He is my Sir, the alpha in our relationship.

JaimeJade​(sub female){BaronJ} • Jan 2, 2019

Every dynamic is different and T slave you are very lucky that your family and friends know this about you and are acceptant but most of all that you feel you can be so open about it x

Mrrrmwc​(dom male) • Jan 19, 2019

He to put u todleep

SubAtomic • Jan 19, 2019

Ours is bedroom/club/wherever we are having sex only. I see us as equals - and we share our everyday life as equals. We both cook, we both clean and we both pay the bills. We would never share what we do sexually with family or friends. Unless those friends are sex friends of course. I think this works for us because we are both very strong personalities. It did take some time to find our footing and figure out what works best. It wasn't magical, it was work. Well worth the trip.

Freya369 • Jan 19, 2019

I hope people don't mind me waying in, especially as someone who is just beginning or at least trying to understand my dynamic and that of others...these questions that people pose, cause me to really examine sexually in a larger perspective. I am not particularly hopeful that I will ever get to experience my dynamics either, but it's really great that there seems to be ongoing investigations that are never mentioned in vanilla world. Some of that reticence I understand, but when one comes across significant numbers of people who haven't had any sexual intimacy in decades surely there is a connection between that and the "real violence" in society.

It seems to me that we are changing energy all day long, and arousal and other needs are going to be part of that. So somehow, the couple must find a way to convey that. I don't think it matters how, as long as it's understood. There are "others" to consider of course, people who have no business knowing your private arrangement. Some want absolute transparency, and that may be part of the "kick"...so be it.

Symbols: rings, necklaces, sublet verble clues, can be part of it, and I imagine that any couple with real intimacy would have no problem working that out. Long ago, when dinasaurs ruled the earth, my ex and I had pet names, which we automatically slipt into when all was "ok." As sillyish as that may seem, it's just another version of communication.