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I am shocked: After one week in a relationship she shares her fetish.

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️}
5 years ago • Jan 21, 2019
Wolfy13 wrote:
The OP hasn't commented again, but i don't understand why after MB posted all the sudden everyone is just saying "you can't do it" why is everyone so quick to advise someone to quit, and to walk away? Why are people being so quick to tear a relationship apart? And to the sound of thunderous applause too while you all pat each other on the back for being so "right". I just don't understand...


I'm not sure about your interpretation of those posts. I see folks raising genuine and honest questions about the viability of a ONE WEEK LONG relationship where one partner has some serious moral and personal reservations about kink and the other is experienced in BDSM.

No one said "you can't do it", what they said is "are you sure this is right for you?". MB was right to put the focus on him. Yes, he's trying, but his language belies some serious moral reservation and naive judgement about kink. They were right to question that.

The fact that the OP hadn't responded is telling. My guess would be that she's probably left him already over the moral judgement, despite his willingness to try and understand. Just speculation, but I could see how a beautiful, kinky young woman might choose (and have no trouble finding) a more suitable partner.

Let me flip the script; why, given the OP's initial post and lack of followup, do you think that this was a viable relationship to begin with? Why are you advocating for two people that have only known each other for a week and have vastly different sexual preferences should try and make a go of it?
Allie Kat​(sub trans woman){DarkFox}
5 years ago • Jan 21, 2019
@Fudbar First, i want to be upfront with you. I have seen your posts before and i think you and i are so different that we are incapable of constructive conversation. I am not really interested in discussing this in depth with /you/. Not saying anything about who is wrong or who is right between us, just that i think neither of us has anything to gain by discussing this with each other.

To answer though, since the questions were raised publically and im sure others reading may be interested; it is because NO ONE has the right to project THEIR OWN judgement on SOMEONE ELSE'S relationship. Whether it be for how long it has been, what gender each participant is, how the sex is or where they are from. The OP said he loved her and he is here seeking advice and we should take his word for it, because anything else will be a projection or an assumption based off nothing.

When someone says "are you sure this is right for you?" And doesn't add "these are some ways you can find out" there is no constructive purpose. The purpose then is only to seed doubt. A constructive response is "here is how you can communicate about it" and "here is how you learn about it" and "here are some safe ways to proceed" the absence of these intents leaves only nay-saying.

The OP not responding means nothing. To assume what it means is simply nonsense. I pointed it out to say "i don't know how the OP feels about this, maybe he thinks you guys are being really helpful, but here is my feelings on the matter."

Hopefully this answers yours and anyone else's questions on why i feel the way i do. As i said before though, i have no interest in discussing it with /you/ further.
Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️}
5 years ago • Jan 21, 2019
Heh. Don't like your opinions challenged, don't post in the forums, Wolfie. I give absolutely no fucks if you don't want to hear from me. It's a public forum and trying to silence me because you don't think we'll agree is nonsense.

I stand by my points.
HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat}
5 years ago • Jan 21, 2019
He doesnt say anything about not liking opinions challenged. Maybe learn to read? He just said that you two are at opposite ends of the spectrum so conversations with you are pointless because you refuse to acknowledge opposing views.

You just proved his post right. Good job!
Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️}
5 years ago • Jan 21, 2019
Heh. What a shock. Rushing in to defend. Not surprised. I can read just fine. He chose to dismiss me personally and directly rather then simply debate the issue at hand. Are you speaking for him and tag teaming yet again, or did you have something to add to the topic at hand?

"We don't agree so don't talk to me " is a childish point of view. As is suggesting that no one can judge anyone else's relationship and we should limit discussion to a hugbox of helpful suggestions.

No, "Are you sure this is right for you?" is not seeding doubt. It's a fair question. Of course one week only matters, especially if he's declared his love over such a short time span, just as not responding at all is telling. OP has lost interest, or lost the girl. Care to offer an alternative and plausible explanation?
Allie Kat​(sub trans woman){DarkFox}
5 years ago • Jan 21, 2019
Why do you seek conflict? I was not going to reply anymore but you and my Mitress had to get nasty.

First of all, i think your summation of my request is in fact childish, however, my actual statement is a little more. I acknowledge that we do not understand one another and that you and i will not be able to successfully have a /constructive/ conversation. Lay blame on whomever you wish for that. I think acknowledging that and /politely/ declining to continue further attempts to discuss the issue is in fact the /mature/ response. This is a stance that i stand by, and is reinforced by your inability to control your anger after being /told/ that /i/ decline to continue. Further reinforced by your inability to hold back your anger after my Mistress wrongly insulted you. Returning anger with vengeance is very human of you and i don't judge you for it, but it is a main part of the reason i do not wish to attempt this discussion with you. Blame it on /my/ weakness to endure your acidic tongue.

I am not responding to your point on the discussion at hand. You are free to disagree with me, i don't think less of you for it. I just disagree. Do with that what you will icon_smile.gif and please let the conflict end...
JaimeJade​(sub female){BaronJ}
5 years ago • Jan 21, 2019
My husband is very new to this scene and being a Dom does not come easy to him. But he is doing an amazing job at being my master and he is getting advice from some lovely people on here.

My advice is, talk to people, try and find those of similar kinks to reach out to to learn more. But most of all communicate with your girlfriend so you can find a happy medium. You’re on here so you are clearly open minded and perhaps willing to learn or else you wouldn’t be asking questions. Just beware of the messages that reply with ‘sure I’ll help, but what’s in it for me?’ Ignore those. People should be willing to help for free.

I think it’s great she was so honest from the start, don’t berate her for that because imagine it’s a year down the line and she springs it on you? At least you know where you stand and whether you go for it or not is ultimately down to you, but her kink won’t go away. I think your ‘want to vomit’ upon hearing such kink is a little drastic and this is perhaps the reason why most are saying you should end things... but again, the fact you’ve asked the question I think proves you may be willing to try this.

Good luck, I hope you both find what you’re looking for whether together or apart
Idontunderstand
5 years ago • Jan 22, 2019
Idontunderstand • Jan 22, 2019
Ok it seems i am still standing, note that i have nothing to lose and i am willing to explore.

Three additional questions i have are:
1) Is it possible that she will develop a style with me, that is a good mixture of her desire and mine?
I mean, i have to go up in the line of pleasure, but then it would be ideal, if she somewhat tempers her needs?
Is it possible that because she focusses on a new style, her desire for things i dont like, become somewhat softer?
2) I just learned a new term, that i 'squicked'. That is my first reaction is uncomfortable, but to be honest i dont think it is rationally totally wrong who she is and what she likes. It is just 'not my taste'. So i am worried i keep on squicking, and i never get comfortable.
Zaramia​(dom female)
5 years ago • Jan 22, 2019
Zaramia​(dom female) • Jan 22, 2019
Question for you:
If you continue to squick, and she compromises somewhat in her desires, and you manage to find a relatively squick free ground in the middle - How long do you think you can hold that ground? How long do you think she can?
She may be "only mildly interested" in the kinks she has mentioned. She may be "Unable to attain sexual and emotional satisfaction" without them. You may remain forever "some degree of squeaked", or you may come to experience and embrace, or you may become absolutely repulsed. Again - it's all an unknown, but I do think you are going to have to have the conversation with her to see, honestly, where you both stand, really.
Idontunderstand
5 years ago • Jan 22, 2019
Idontunderstand • Jan 22, 2019
MissBonnie wrote:
Are you prepared to never have intimacy all your way ..for the rest of your life!


Sorry, what do you mean with this?