He is leaving in 2 years

He is leaving in 2 years

Low{BLK OWND} • Jan 25, 2019

My Dom has just told me he is leaving me in 2 years to retire close to his family
It hurts but i get it
However
Is my perspective wrong ? Or what should even be ?
Should I be looking at this kinda like if he had only 2 years to live and we should make the best of each day ?
Or as if my man has said in to me in 2 years I'm divorcing you but your convenient for now ?
I feel like I just want to ask him to take my collar off now and just let me get through the pain that I know is coming
I just need some advice
The weight of it is crushing me
Stay or go

Phanes​(dom male) • Jan 25, 2019

In my opinion, it depends on what it was that you discussed in the beginning Question mark was this meant to be a long-term real-time relationship? What is it that you were looking for? To answer your question in your writing, I would say the latter. As if he sees you as a convenience right now and when the two years is up he moves on with his life and leaves you behind. I don't know if that's something that you can accept or you wish to invest that much time not to mention emotions with someone you know who will be walking away 2 years later. I think you need to look inside yourself and ask if this is acceptable to you or not? To me it would not be. Again just my opinion

curiouskittyy​(sub female){GentlemanX} • Jan 25, 2019

Hmmm I think this is such a difficult question to answer. I mean for starters, I don’t know what kind of relationship you have. Are you romantically involved? Are you monogamous with one another? I assume you are not an online only dynamic, as location wouldn’t impact either of you. Personally, I don’t see how you can get into any kind of relationship knowing that it’s going to come to an end. If that’s the case then technically you are preventing someone from finding something that is potentially permanent with someone else .. by keeping them for however long (in your case 2 years).

Like I said, it’s difficult for me to be able to give you any advice because I haven’t been in this situation myself and I don’t know what kind of dynamic you both have. But if it were me? I’d clarify with my Dom what he means and why he was with me in the first place if he planned on leaving me after a set amount of time. I mean did he even ask if maybe you wanted to relocate with him? Or whether it was something he may change his mind about? Or did he even bother to ask you what you wanted? ...Then if he came back to me that he was definitely going to end our relationship in 2 years then I’d (personally) walk away. I’d rather be hurt now and find someone else than spend 2 years of my life miserable, knowing that the inevitable was coming.

But this is just my opinion
Ck x

Low{BLK OWND} • Jan 25, 2019

We are romantically involved and monogamous
I did not understand this from the beginning
I am a married sub but as my husband is a cuck he has encounters with us both
But I see things change now
I must have seemed very naive and I guess I really am he. Was/Is my first and only Dom and I love him
We both do

curiouskittyy​(sub female){GentlemanX} • Jan 25, 2019

Ahh okay. Thank you for clarifying .

Hmm it’s still a tricky one.. maybe because you are married your Dom didn’t see it as something that could be long-term. Perhaps he even brought this up with you now to test the waters of where you are at emotionally?To see if maybe you felt the same as him.

I think the best thing you can probably do is talk to your Dom. See if what you both want aligns long-term. Let him know how you currently feel about him moving away and how you feel about him. Then go from there. Openess, honesty and communication right?

Good luck and I hope it works out for you both.

Freya369 • Jan 26, 2019

Once again...we are supplied with the word "love"...to be honest, I think it's bandied around far too easily. It's really important to be clear what we are committing to from the get go, and it sounds that he was clearer about his long term plans, than you were. Certainly, he is saying so now! I just can not fathom how we can enter into these intense relationships and not expect people to begin to feel something.....unless we are the kind of person who can issue an edict that he's leaving 2 years hence and perhaps wants to mitigate his guilt. Stay or go, it's going to hurt like hell...for me ...the fat lady has sung... time to get a real Man.

Low{BLK OWND} • Jan 26, 2019

We all shared love and it is and will always be real
Thats why it's so hard
But thanks for you response Freya
It's just more complicated then I can express
He is my one
I do not give this kind of love lighty

Freya369 • Jan 26, 2019

Darling...not suggesting you are doing anything lightly...however, he has now given you a heads up that he is leaving in 2 years!

You stay with him for the next however long...presumably for 2 years...Or you leave...in a time of your choosing. Either way, it may be a bumpy ride and not in a good way!

MasterBear​(other butch) • Jan 26, 2019

Talk it with him through as you continue to process the information.

You dont have to make a decision now.

The more you talk it through the clearer your path will become.


This is such a highly intense situation.

But, I understand your pain..

We have been with our third for 8 years.
They retire in 8/2020.
At that point our relationship will end.
As they start a new phase in their life.
This isnt new news.

I remind them that we are running out of time and that for the next year and some we need to be focusing on making that time special.

For me, knowing in advance helps to soften the blow.
But I cant say that I'll be thinking that closer to time.


Allow yourself every emotion as you figure out what happens next.

And good luck.

Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast} • Jan 26, 2019

Honestly, I am going to open my big mouth here and say something hard: he isn’t your one. If he were, he would be as committed as you. He might still be leaving, but you would be talking about how to make things work or he would be doing something to make this easier on you.

My suggestion is to let him go now. It’s going to hurt like Hell and you’re going to be fucking miserable. Guess what: you would be in two years anyway. At least you get the grieving over with so you can move on.

I was with someone for nine months knowing that our relationship had an end date. The atmosphere was positively and progressively toxic. We fought constantly and began to hate each other. It’s something that I wish on no one.

Thank your Dom for being honest with you and ask for release. Untangle yourself from him and ask him to help you transition away. Mourn your relationship and take time to heal. You will find someone else and do deserve someone as committed to you as you are to them.