Advise for a sub male trying to find a dom female

Advise for a sub male trying to find a dom female

Toasty • Feb 10, 2019

I’m a sub male and I’m finding it hard to find a dom female. Any advice?

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat} • Feb 10, 2019

Just... Relax.

Being desperate (not sure if you're acting that way, it just seems to be the common factor) chases off most Dommes. Women in general, don't respond well to desperation.

My best advice to everyone is to not worry so much about finding a partner. The more you worry and stress the harder it is to attract someone. Be yourself, accept that it could take a while, and talk to people like they're just that - people. If you get to know someone as a friend first, it's easier to move forward from there.

Worry about yourself - advice my love always says and that I've tried to adapt for myself and I try to spread now, be the person you want to be with. You want a confident person? Make yourself confident. Strong-willed? Be strong-willed. You'll attract more people that you want, if you're like that yourself.

All in all, just relax. Dont worry so much about finding someone. When you stop trying to force or rush it, you'll be rewarded.

I stopped worrying, and I'm now married to the person who showed up after that.

Waiting is worth it.

Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast} • Feb 10, 2019

Filling out your profile would help. Try painting yourself as a three dimensional person. Dommes aren’t kink dispensers, so who are you as a person? What interests do you have and what do you do in your spare time ? Describe your personality as well.

Also, don’t be vague. Know what you have to offer and what you’re looking for. Be as specific as possible in terms of relationship and preferences, knowing that things take patience.

Lastly, widen your net. Have profiles on multiple sites and join your local community.

Also: pro tip: approach someone you’re interested in the same way you would if meeting them on the street. I know that you’re dying to talk about kink, but don’t.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Feb 10, 2019

Reply to forums.

That gets you more visibility and people get to know you better through your opinions.

CapnRick​(dom male) • Feb 10, 2019

Well, Toasty,

Looks like it has only been three hours since you put up your 'revised' profile --- and the advice above is excellent!

In particular, your profile is an empty shell --no picture, not desires of anything specific, no history of your kink experiences (if any), and not much a Domme (not that you are looking for a Domme(F) --Not a Dom(M)). Are you looking for an older Domme, one into 24/7, into abasement or just bedroom control, what? As said above, the more you open up about who you are, what you desire, whether you will travel, only in person or not,---all of that-- the better your chances are of attracting interest.

And Bear is spot on-- even Dommes might be hesitant about responding to a profile, but might be much quicker to get into a discussion with you about something you post or react to on a forum or Blog post.....so put yourself out there!
Good luck in your searching....