Cash "Tributes" and their justification

Cash "Tributes" and their justification

PleasureSub​(sub male) • Jun 11, 2017

Something really annoys me when looking for a Non Professional Dom online. (So I'm not talking about Pro Dommes who run it like a business and have a dungeon to upkeep etc)

If you (a "Dom") are demanding Tribute because its about you not having your time wasted...then why not set a normal task (write an essay, create something, prove their worth a different way) for a potential sub/slave that doesn't break their finances?

Unless it is just about the money? Which nine times out of ten, usually is with opportunists on most sites. It's like a plague of negative energy and cynical outlooks

I'm skint but I give my complete, commitment love, time and energy which is apparently worthless to most Doms

All you do is miss out on some good genuine people by pricing them out.

BDSM is an art-form and you are lucky to have people wanting to serve you in the first place.

My tributes to Doms in the past have been, personal gifts (loaded with thoughtful gesture) and things I have made for her.
Her favoured Flower with a black ribbon lace across the stem. Symbolic little gestures.

I'm sorry but if all you can think of for "Tribute"is cash you probably aren't that great or creative at what you do.

Plenty of people have money and will waste your time either-way. I see no mention of this anywhere just fools, happy to give their money away to prove something.

It's embarrassing. I feel sorry for the people who get led down this road over and over only for it to result in disappointment.


So disillusioned with the UK online community right now

Novice​(masochist male) • Jun 12, 2017

I am victim to many scams, including Tributes

it is my strong believe that anyone demanding money at a point is a Fraud!!!

many Dommes say, if you want to show you are a slave you will have to prove that

they call it a Tribute????

and naive as I was

and there are other that call themselves findom, mostly girls from 18 - 30, wanting to make easy money

and then there are slave girls, they have achieved nothing in life and say, I want to be your slave, you must take care of me

and mostly financially, like a whore living in, or such

I have been very naive and stupid to fall for that, but when you are desperate, you are willing to try all!

Byrdie​(switch female){rl only} • May 20, 2018

Given how often I see male submissives complaining about tribute / financial domination / other play concerning money, I suspect that my reply is going to be unpopular. However, I figured that I'd give it a go considering the question as been asked.

First off: I HAVE NEVER DONE THIS SORT OF PLAY AND DO NOT ASPIRE TO DO SO. Okay? We clear?

Second: The number of hungry submissives who either know that they're not what a dominant is looking for, or who don't even bother to check before contacting the dominant and begging for play, is astounding. The number who don't take an initial "no" for an answer is impressive - what used to be considering "good ol' American persistence" is now frequently labeled as boundary violation and, at times, stalking. A relentless submissive is likely to be stopped dead by a request for money, even if they've already claimed that they'll do "anything". The first filter is the dominant's profile, assuming it's filled out at all. Often that's not effective and there are some who may use a request for money as a second filter.

Third: Submissives who are cheating on a partner and who are treating the dominant as a "dirty little secret" rather than as a valid partner of their own right might as well be paying a professional. Many dominants want a genuine relationship, not to be a down low side piece. If you check out the Five Love Languages, the major categories are: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, and ... Gifts. Someone cheating on another is likely not going to offer much in the way of quality time for the dominant, may not offer words of affirmation until right before and during play, physical touch may only happen during play assuming it's possible at all, acts of service may be self-serving for the submissive (especially in a virtual rendezvous), which leaves gifts (money / tribute).

Fourth: If a dominant's and submissive's kinks don't match up, but the submissive keeps pressing the dominant to conform to their wishes, then that's an unbalanced exchange of effort. Add in the possibility of costumes, equipment, and time that could be spent doing something the dominant finds far more pleasurable and fulfilling, and it's a far more extreme discrepancy.

Fifth: There are people who've found a business opportunity within kink. Heck, look at this website: it offers a premium membership for more access to certain services, as to other sites. There are toy makers, clothiers, club owners, vendors, etc. There are professional dominants and submissives. Nobody is obligated to provide any kink to anyone upon demand with nothing *they consider* of equal value being offered in return.

Sixth: There are a lot of dominants out there who don't charge, but who may not be quite the fantasy fodder of the submissive in question. While a submissive may hound a dominant to compromise and take them on ("yeah, I'm long distance but ...", "yeah, I'm married but ...", "yeah, I'm not in your age range but ..."), there are submissives who want what they consider to be trophy dominants and wouldn't dream of compromising on their list of wants simply for the chance of a kink relationship. Trophies, however, are earned by a very few - which is why they're trophies.

Seventh: I've never heard of anyone complaining about financial dominants at an actual kink event, like a munch, class, party, or convention. Not once. Maybe getting out and exploring the local kink scene may help guys like you get away from the people who want money in exchange for what they're offering. Spammers happen: please consider reporting them, moving on, going out, and having fun.

Reminder: I HAVE NEVER DONE THIS SORT OF PLAY AND DO NOT ASPIRE TO DO SO. Sometimes people forget that after a long post, so yeah - still true.

MstressWhipplash​(dom female) • Feb 24, 2019

I only enjoy real time relationships with Submissive or slave men.

Avoid online to avoid being targeted is my advice to you.
If you only wish online then join a role play group and a Kik group which are on Fetlife.com to enjoy the mental titalation only which doesn't impact any part of your life.


I personally like to impact all that persons' life where mutual consent is given. Where mutual compatibility of personality traits and Trust are present as well.

Munches are a clear way to pick out those who do not ask for tribute unless they say up front because it is their business as a Pro Domina offering a clearly set out service.

If you want a face to face relationship where you give up authority to a Dominant Woman do so face to face.

Alternatively tighten your filter process while doing online only role play. Which is how I personally see online only.


Mistress Whipplash Ma'am

MasterBear​(other butch) • Feb 24, 2019

I think its important to differentiate between D types that request money and ProDommes.



Pros have every right to thier coin. I support Pros and consider many my close personal friends.



Then there are the D types that require money.

I have a few thoughts on this.

One- good. If as a D type they know thier worth and feel that is how they are empowered. Good.


Two- interesting. If putting that in a D types profile stops the hailstorm of "play with mememeeme". s types from writing them. Mission accomplished.


Three- there are abuses.


What I find interesting is the OP saying:

"BDSM is an art-form and you are lucky to have people wanting to serve you in the first place"


????????????


Lucky? Is this akin to - your lucky to get what you get. So be grateful for whatever bone you are sent?

Maybe im misreading here.

Mistress Maree​(dom female){Non} • Feb 24, 2019

I am not a pro Domme .... I don’t demand cash tribute .... I have my own well equipped Dungeon which I often allow friends to use and show people how to use equipment safely.... and give my time and energy for free.... some have been generous and bought gifts to my dungeon or something personal for me..... but I would say 90% are free loaders ..... that’s my experience.

But I totally agree with this posting I have quoted.

SimplyJane​(dom female) • Feb 27, 2019

Recently I received an email
from a submissive . First he started off
very nice but then he said, I just want
you to know I will not give you money!
Do not ask!! Etc.
I wrote him back and told him he was quite rude to assume I was interested in his money. He said that almost every Domme he has talked to asks for money.He said his frustration level is so high because there aren't many Dommes out there who aren't looking for tributes. That's seems hard to believe but if that was the case that's frustrating.

Villanelle​(staff) • Feb 27, 2019

Just a reminder to please report anyone who requests money/gifts/membership fees, etc. We do not allow financial transactions of any type on THE CAGE. These people will be removed.

FYI, although they are in the minority, we have had male findoms and also subs soliciting, so this is not exclusive to female dominants. Trolls assume many forms based on who they think might be the easiest target. I object to the idea that more female dominants are interested in this behaviour. Rather, male submissives are seen as the most pliable and easy to shake down so the trolls often assume the role of the femdom. This is unfortunate for the reputation of us lifestyle dominants and the pro dommes who are sincerely interested in practicing their craft, training, and education.

Miki​(masochist female) • Feb 28, 2019

I was surprised to see this thread and even more surprised to see that this shit is actually "accepted". Paying and/or charging for sexual gratification (which includes the need to submit or dominate) is illegal as hell and "asking for tribute" is just a euphemism for soliciting prostitution.

The Mafia extort and shake down people in their territories by asking for "tribute" or "protection money". Same shit different service. That's how the fucking "Godfather" got started-- the real life mob bosses upon whom that character was based that is

While I do not believe, what with all the violent crime out there, that sex for cash should still be illegal in this day and age ---- (Hell bringing it out of the shadows would, to me, reduce the human trafficking situation because bringing it out of the dark corners of sleazedom would have its participants "performing" willingly and able to walk away from the job at will.)

----- it is, nevertheless illegal and changing the words around doesn't make it any less crappy. "Professional" doms and subs who seek funds to stock their dungeons are operating what one might call kink parlors and those aren't any more legal than those "massage spas" offering "happy (sloppy is good by the way) endings.

MstressWhipplash​(dom female) • Mar 1, 2019

It is about mutual consent through transparency.

If the submissive who does not want an Active Control Framework Relationship, instead wants play he will be told go to a play club and negotiatiate that. So that the Dominant Women seeking a relationship is left alone to enjoy what she wants.

If the submissive man was honest and said kink play online making him a role player then he would go to the role play groups for the mutually craved interactive porn.

If the bottom who claims he does wants to give up authority to a Dominant Woman actually doesn't but is happy to pay into financial Dominant Woman who controls his mind for his money. Then be honest allocate money to separate account so he doesn't spend the bill money and enjoy his kink.

The issue is guys who not compatible with a Dominant Woman seeking an Active Control Framework Relationship when he seeks play only and misrepresentd himself. So the local Dominant Women learn to ignore him. So he applies instead to the porn pictures of a person not being honest and as he isn't honest they reap what they soe.

Be honest about what you seek. Many want a free Pro Domina. That is they want play they control but they do not want to pay. Those are the mark of the scammer a fair amount.

However they also attach themselves to a few inexperienced newbies who often start as bottoms until they comprehend what giving up authority to a mutually compatible Dominant Woman feels like. Then their submission develops and their filter process tightens. So their profile bounces away the scammer.

Going to a Munch is still the best way forward. Educate yourself at a Munch and online discussion groups to tighten your filter process both for the Dominant Woman who gets the Fetish chaser, or the guy chasing the porn image Fetish of a Dominant Woman.

For the Dominant Woman tell the guy you will wait six months to know each other before you think about playing. Watch them leave you alone if they are a Fetish play chaser.

For the guy offer to meet her at a Munch. Remember if she says yes be honest about what you seek. Her friends will find out the lies.

Mistress Whipplash Ma'am