How can I tell

How can I tell

TheAsguardian • Mar 8, 2019

Couple years ago she use to simply come over..bend her over, and I'd Masterbate on her ass, then tell her to leave. It use to be me doing something for her, then repay me with that favor.

Today I told her she needed to come over now or I'd stop with the favors as I assumed certain favors were being taken advantage of. I told her what to were and what position she needed to be when she walked in and I didn't want to look her in the face. After speaking to her like I knew I had gotten rid of her because I never speak to her like this.

10 minutes later I get a text asking me is my door open. She came in, didn't speak..assumed position. This happened today. Is this just some kinky fling..or have I found one?

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat} • Mar 8, 2019

If you're asking whether or not you found love, that's honestly really subjective and up to you to decide.

When you're in love - really, in love - there's no doubting it, in my mind. When I found love with my husband, I couldnt have denied it even if I tried. You want to take care of the other person, make them happy, spend your time with them, the list goes on. Love is selfless. If it isnt selfless... it probably isnt love.

And you CHOOSE to love them. Love isnt always easy, and it's about making the conscious decision to love them no matter what. Love is forgiving and kind.

I cant say for sure whether or not that's what you have. Your situation and what I see as my ideal (which I have) are totally different so, if it is for you, I wouldn't know. But, if you can say your feelings are selfless and you have the desires to care for and be with the other person, it just might be.

If you're asking if shes the one to be your sub? I mean, it sounds like it just from how she's acting, but again it's kinda up to you. You two would need to talk about it and agree together that it's the relationship you want.

Either way, I wish you luck on your endeavors.

FlipSide1481​(dom male) • Mar 8, 2019

The question that you have to answer is:

Did she just come over because of the favors, or does she want to be submissive in this way.

You know the value of the favors and the place they hold in her life and can make a judgement there.

At the end of the day though asking her about her thoughts as she came over will be very revealing.

I truly hope that you found your one... Now it is time to talk... ALOT.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Mar 8, 2019

Found one what?

the elf • Mar 8, 2019

I hope she drains your wallet dry quicker than your horny brain realize.

shahh • Mar 8, 2019

My question exactly.

ropefish • Mar 8, 2019

Soooo your question is a little vague. But regardless of what you're asking, the answer is the same: communication.

No one here can tell you what's in her head, what's in your head, what kind of relationship you have, or what kind you want. That's something only the two of you can define. I would suggest meeting with her in a different setting. Somewhere public enough to where it won't turn into a scene, yet private enough that you can talk openly. Explain to her exactly how you feel about the situation, and then ask her to honestly share how she feels.

Figure out what kind of relationship she wants. What are her goals? What does she want out of this? Also, what do *you* want out of this?

And then once you're both on the same page, move forward from there.

Bella duPuy​(sub female){Not lookin} • Mar 10, 2019

Are you judging their kink? Really?
Are you judging how T/they have come to Find O/one another? Really?

Or ...

Are you jealous tharT/they may have Found what many are searching for? ... Really.

Either ...

Seek to support, and hekp, or
Keep your little mouth off of O/other's Journey.

Yes ...

i AM #Judging you.

Miki​(masochist female) • Mar 10, 2019

Difficult to answer because I can't tell from how you wrote it what you're asking. I won't delve into specifics but your grammar usage doesn't lend itself to clarity. But from what I can divine from that post, you're wondering if you're having a fling or does this relationship have a future beyond kinky fun.
From the looks of it, probably not. Looks sounds and probably feels like a fun fling. It seems you both are satisfied with that's going on now. She comes to your place, bends over, you squirt jizzum on her ass and she leaves.

Sounds like something I'd get into (except you'd have to do more than sprinkle Man-naise on me) and with that frame of reference in my humble opinion, it's not "the one".

By way of qualifier, I put on many of my posts and in my profile, I am not into the relationship/love/affection aspect of "the lifestyle". It's all about the sex. I orgasm much more intensely when there is pain and humiliation (and in tightly-defined circumstances an audience) involved. After that I'm done.

Either I stay the night should my partner indicate he or she wants seconds or thirds but otherwise I'm gone with the night, disappearing into the morning's first light ---or am gone as soon as (s)he and I finish our session.

Hope this helps, probably not as I'm not a "true" sub ---but my POV might be useful to someone out there.