Just a simple question...

Reading a blog recently, a thought occurred to me. What does bdsm mean to others? I know what it means to me, and it occurred to me that I’ve never really thought to inquire. So now my curiosity asks...

What does BDSM mean to you?

*there are no “right” or “wrong” answers... please be respectful

For me, it's about the relationship between partners. It's about sharing trust, comfort, communication, and power with someone I've found worth giving everything to.

For me BDSM is a form of self expression and realization. it is a calling anyone can come into this lifestyle and try it out but only those willing to learn and practice what they learn try thrive here I've studied many types of play ranging from simple bondage to harder subjects like knife play. I do advanced studies into aftercare because there is nothing more important then this subject in my mind. I see to many people come into this lifestyle without first learning the basics and get hurt because they just want to have fun don't get wrong it's ok to have fun but safety and communication should be at the forefront at all times

Trust
Connection
Communication
Exploration
Care
Trust

It all begins and ends with trust

For me it's a big ole umbrellaaaaaa~ ☂☂☂☂

I actually kindof realized recently that I've been unconsciously keeping a more narrow view of bdsm than I'd like to. The mental aspects are the most important to me, and so I've been focused on the relationship side.

But I think more casual encounters and bedroom only kink are just as valid expressions of BDSM as any other relationship. I just never really hear about those on this particular site, so I forgot they were a thing xD

If you asked me what submission means to me I'd have a flowery personal answer. But BDSM is such a broad term that encompasses so much, and I like it that way. I'm experimental, I love new experiences, and my current approach to relationships is "allow the relationship to develop naturally and see what ends up growing". So for me it's even different from partner to partner.

I don't know, there's this underlying attitude of "my way is the only real way to do BDSM" on the Cage sometimes that I really hate. But I think the door is pretty wide open, providing the frame is consent and trust.

........I don't even think that answered the question lol, but that's where my thoughts went. xD

What does BDSM mean...to me?:

I don't know if others will share my connection to it, but I can really only come up with one word : Natural

We always hear things like, trust, connection, etc etc (I am not saying that to disparage or take away anything from anyone who describes their experience in that way. Self expression is key to all of our experiences and understanding). However, through my understanding and life experience, we can say the same exact thing about vanilla relationships. For me, vanilla relationships make me feel unnatural, like I am playing a part in order to fit into society's point of view of what is normal. I did that in my first marriage, vanilla and ordinary for everyone to see. But, what no one could see...I was deeply depressed, lonely, trapped, and bitter towards myself to the point of being ashamed that I wasn't like everyone else. I would bring up the topic to my then husband about little things like, will you handcuff me? He would always reject...hurt...and confuse me. He told me hundreds of times that he wanted all of me, the real me, let go....yet, when I did, I was left standing alone wishing I never said anything at all. Needless to say, after nine years, that marriage ended.
Once I found my Sir and husband, there was no period of adjustment or letting go from that vanilla lifestyle I had. It was more like all the chains that society placed on me dissolved away instantly. I was at last, for the first time in my life, breathing in the air...feeling the warmth of the sun on my face...I was free. Sir saw and loved me...for me. I never have to worry about what I say or do now. I can just be myself without shame or self conforming correction. I have never had to take a step back and rethink what I was going to say or do with Sir. He has never rejected me and I have never rejected him. We joke sometimes to each other that we were made from the same mold, though we have some years between us. I never have to shape myself into something I am truly not....even if it was just for Sir's pleasure.

BDSM to me, is just me being true to myself and my natural state in this world.

- Red Vixen

For me its loving some one my way and having them want the same.

So far it has been a roller coaster for me. Ups and downs, good and bad. However I know this is because I am early in the learning stages (or I don’t know).
Ideally I think clearly communicating and honesty are high on the list to a sturdy foundation. I am quickly learning that BDSM is more about understanding oneself and what avenues one wants to explore. It would be nice to share that space with another, but not always required.

That’s all I have for now, I might revisit this topic in the future...
-Redd?

Bring
Drinks and
Some
Music

To me, since I’m so logically wired, I would give you the literally definition:

But! For what it has been for me , it is a journey where I am finding myself. I am delving deeper into who I am, and what I am every day. And when I find a submissive, they will be there for us both to figure eachother out.

It’s hard for me to explain in text, but if I talk in voice it would just be so much more clearer.