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A question for the Doms

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6 months ago • Mon 08 Apr 2019 09:59:26 PM IDT
Freya369 • Mon 08 Apr 2019 09:59:26 PM IDT
Firstly, you are owed an explanation, no matter the length of time of the relationship. I agree, that it is highly likely be has moved on...reprehensible and hurtful without dealing with it to your face. Count yourself lucky to find out sooner rather than later, and focus on finding a real Dom. All the best, F
Vortexa​(dom female)
6 months ago • Mon 15 Apr 2019 04:18:48 AM IDT
Vortexa​(dom female) • Mon 15 Apr 2019 04:18:48 AM IDT
Yes I have experienced this (in a traditional relationship). If you feel like he is pulling away because of some internal struggle that has nothing to do with you, perhaps give him one more chance to open up to you. Certain people retreat into their own minds when life gets tough and push others away because they don't want to show weakness. But you can remind him that the ability to show all of his emotions is a sign of courage, not of weakness.
Wiseonthree​(dom male)
6 months ago • Mon 15 Apr 2019 05:02:46 AM IDT
Wiseonthree​(dom male) • Mon 15 Apr 2019 05:02:46 AM IDT
So, I’m gonna be real honest with myself and with you. My previous ones (only two genuine opportunities of which I am not talking about) , the ones that did that...were not meant for me. It was a waste of my talents , and a waste of both of our times.

How do I say this, the disconnect usually happens when there is a communication breakdown. “It’s complicated” is not a fair accessment of the situation the two of you are in. If he is not feeling motivated or the drive or the desire to guide and instruct you then that is up to him to communicate. A shift in dynamic (a particularly stable and long term one) generally means second thoughts or disinterest.

It’s important that a Dom conmunicates to their subs and leaving any of them in the dark is basically the equivalent of plucking wings off of a fly.

I see two choices, FIGHT for it, or resign. Either way I do hope you gain positive closure from the situation.

Best of luck.
TallDarkAndDominant​(dom male)
5 months ago • Sun 28 Apr 2019 03:22:47 AM IDT
TallDarkAndDominant​(dom male) • Sun 28 Apr 2019 03:22:47 AM IDT
Yeah, there definitely seems to be something fishy going on. Or perhaps just a breakdown in communication.

If he’s not communicating to you why all this is happening, then that’s poor form - and not fair for you.
60rocker​(dom male)
5 months ago • Mon 29 Apr 2019 05:59:53 AM IDT

Re: A question for the Doms

60rocker​(dom male) • Mon 29 Apr 2019 05:59:53 AM IDT
SubSlaveRose wrote:
I have a question for the Doms.
Have you ever felt at a disconnect from your Dom? And your sub? Either from life being heavy? Guilt? The responsibility being too much? Anything really?
I ask because my Dom has spent the last 3 months slowly pulling away, saying its complicated.
We used to have daily rituals, talks several times a day, video chat, calls, talk about the future.
Now, if we talk, it for minutes. No rituals, no tasks.. nothing. At one point he talked of releasing me, but we ended up on a “break”. Quite honestly I’m struggling where to move from here.
No, I’m not looking for a new Dom. Please don’t ask.
Lord Ainsworth​(dom male)
5 months ago • Tue 30 Apr 2019 05:36:01 AM IDT
Lord Ainsworth​(dom male) • Tue 30 Apr 2019 05:36:01 AM IDT
I suggest talk to him not as the sub and Dom but tell him to talk to you as your friend. I believe at times we try to tip toe trying to find the words because of our titles in LS or not. So if you can approach like this be open and whatever is said should be not held against anyone. You may find answers. Hang in there don't give up; yet
thirstyharley​(dom male)
4 months ago • Sun 26 May 2019 12:04:23 PM IDT
thirstyharley​(dom male) • Sun 26 May 2019 12:04:23 PM IDT
I have been guilty of this in the past. I feel shitty about it now. In your case, Im sure your dom has a good reason. I would suggest you demand transparency and honesty regarding what changes in his life have been leading him to grow cold and distant. Hopefully you haven’t already tried that.
Whatever it may be, I hope you and your dom may reconnect after your break.
Soulweaver​(dom male)
4 months ago • Sun 26 May 2019 02:28:18 PM IDT
Soulweaver​(dom male) • Sun 26 May 2019 02:28:18 PM IDT
First off, let me begin by stating that I am sorry that you are hurting over this. Relationships of any type are difficult beasts, in any realm.

I cannot presume to know why your Dom is "pulling away" without personally knowing him. However, in my experience when these "gaps" happen, they can be caused by many reasons, but they can be terminal if not properly dealt with by both parties.

In my opinion, honesty is the way to approach this. Ask your Dom to open up to you and try to help him feel comfortable sharing the truth of the matter. You will also need to frankly and as calmly as is possible, explain your point of view.

If he is unable or unwilling to share, I think you must take that for what it's worth. I hope that you are able to communicate the issues to one another and to work it out. I also wish you the best in this matter and going forward.