| Vortexa(dom female) |
5 years ago •
Apr 18, 2019
Ways of finding the partner you want - stories and suggestio
By what other methods (besides the Cage) have you found your BDSM partners in the past?
Perhaps traditional dating sites? In person at clubs or events? Chat rooms? Thank you in advance for sharing your experiences. |
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Online now
| Tigerslady(sub female){Collared} |
5 years ago •
Apr 18, 2019
How I found my Daddy
I found my daddy on a website called FetLife and we have been together 5 years now. I am in the US and he is in the UK but as soon as I can I plan to move there. Only money and personal issues here have kept me from him this long. We talk often and he dominates me even online.
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Bunnie
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5 years ago •
Apr 18, 2019
Hello @ Vortexa,
I’m enjoying your forum questions 
Most people I’ve met were through the local kink group I joined from being on FetLife, however none came to be relationships. I’ve met a few people from on here as well... with the same results, but most of the friends I’ve made on here live on the other side of the world, so that slows down the process of meeting face-to-face a lot lol. I tried a vanilla site recommended by a friend here, went on one date, and deleted my account. I had spent the whole night feeling like a freak show because all he wanted to know about was my interest in being submissive, and why I thought it was ok. When it reached the point of recognising that he wasn’t curious out of interest... he was trying to determine what made me so “weird,” I was done. I realised that I would prefer to meet up with someone who we both already know we’re kinky... therefore we can focus on actually getting to know each other, rather than one of us being a personal google for someone’s curiosity. I haven’t yet met “my person” in person, but I’m in no rush. |
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DrWakko
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5 years ago •
Apr 18, 2019
Start here:
San Diego Eagle 4.2 (29) · $ · Gay bar 3040 North Park Way Closed ⋅ Opens 4PM Their website mentions leather bar Pecs Bar 4.7 (77) · $ · Gay bar 2046 University Ave Closed ⋅ Opens 12PM "You'll see a leather daddy chatting up my gaybe's Manny and ..." The Rail 4.1 (42) · $ · Gay bar 3796 Fifth Ave Closed ⋅ Opens 11AM Veteran gay bar with theme nights Leather bars are a great way to meet kinksters. If you are straight you will be welcome in a leather bar. Ask the bartender when BDSM groups host events there. The bartender will tell you. Go to these events and get vetted for play parties or find out how to get vetted for play parties. I have heard of events taking place at the Eagle. Also check out: http://clubxsd.org/ I'm sure you can find a party that you want to attend. |
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MasterBrads painpet(sub female){OWNED}
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5 years ago •
Apr 18, 2019
I've tried Fetlife but no luck there. I think I'll stick it out here. This has been the most positive for me.
Because my friends are so vanilla around me. I don't go to the clubs because the area it's in. Not safe to go alone. Which is sad in ways. |
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MasterBear(other butch)
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5 years ago •
Apr 18, 2019
When I broke up with my first wife I would go for walks for hours. Sometimes at 3 am.
I remember one night in particular. I was at my favorite place. And I asked myself. What do I want. Specifically with no vague terms like honorable or caring. No kids, no drugs, no smoking. Had to be out of the closet. Had to have had lesbian lovers before me. I wanted somebody who was sexually adventurous. Who knew more about sex than I did. Who was intellectually at my level or higher. Somebody who knew all kinds of things that I had never thought about before. I wanted somebody who had the same type of emotional language that I did. The last part about emotional language is in my mind the most significant thing that you can have in a successful partnership My ex and I had completely different emotional languages. She hated touch I craved it. She viewed talking about emotions as a weakness and I crumbled under that stifling. My beloved and I speak the same emotional language we put the same emphasis on touch, consistency of words, and quality time. I often times find that people don't bother to sit down and think about those things that deeply enriched them and deeply touched their hearts that a partner can give them. They go on looks and mutual attraction and if it works out great and if it doesn't well they're on to the next one. I didn't want to do that. I really wanted to seek someone who fit my psychological and emotional needs. So this is where it gets kind of interesting. When I first met my love she was with her ex at the lesbian bar and her ex look like she was going to give trouble and I turned to the ex and I was like is this problem. And my love stepped forward in between us she said adamantly " no this is not a problem." It was right then that I thought it was somebody special. She wasn't going to tolerate the drama or the stupidity. And quite frankly I didn't have time for that in my life either. I think my point is is that when you define your emotional need. It makes it a lot easier to see who deserves your time and who doesn't |
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