Obedience School

Obedience School

MisterHush​(dom male) • Apr 29, 2019

I have an interesting question for the site. Feel free to speak candidly even if you're a full sub or servant.

Recently I've been approached by a number of first time subs, slaves, servants, Masters and Doms all looking for training or to train their partners. I do a lot of hands on training and online, but I can only do so much in a day and I own a business as well.

I'm curious if I should make a video series on mental dominance and the dynamic of submission to a better. This would be good advice for both the dominant and submissive members, fun games to play, proper use and maintenance of toys, and advice on how to think creatively to either challenge your subs or better surprise your Master both in and out of the bedroom.

If I started the series would anyone like to contribute stories or perspectives? Advice for newcomers? Potentially donating on Patreon so I can put a little quality in?

Just testing the waters on interest.

-H

Regis​(sadist male) • Apr 30, 2019

On one end mate it's a sound and certainly very helpful towards the newbies. But you've got a few reasons not to, unfortunately.

One is that you're not allowed to advertise or anything like that, or cue in any sort of business or site you own in this community. I think that rule gets stated as soon as you make an account if you can remember.

Two, let's say you do and it all pans out. You have to consider the possible consequences. Let's say you end up teaching the wrong material for specific roles or methods, or you explain something entirely wrong and the new ones interpret it as you taught it, or worse misinterpret whatever you may have mistaught and further twist it along. Not good. Then you have to consider those who are experienced who would likely join in too. They might call you out on those things and make your name a bit unreliable.. And mind you I'm not doubting your knowledge or ability of what your proposing but anything can happen. On the same coin, those same experienced people can also join as they are in their relationships still because they seek solutions to issues they're experience or doubts they're having about themselves and satisfying their partners.... I'm afraid it's more likely the partners of that group wouldn't be okay with them reaching out for someone completely unknown rather than being the ones their partners come to because if lovers can't communicate and work things out with one another to begin with, how would it work out at all? Some say bringing in a third party would be beneficial but I've found our community is very sacred in terms of being one on one (or more if you're poly) and working things out together.

Three, you have to consider the time and resources. Could you allocate enough of either to pull this off? You are putting yourself out there for possibly thousands, and if they're all rather demanding in your material, you'd be stretched thin.

So yeah, as an idea, it's great. But in practice, it might be more damaging if you're not careful. Whichever you do though, be sure you're following the guidelines.

girliegirl4U​(sub female) • Apr 30, 2019

As a submissive, I would have to agree with @Regis , my former Master did not like me learning from others, he wanted to train me as he wanted me to behave. There were many times I thought he went to far but now those times seem so long ago, he wanted to train me to love the mixture of pain and pleasure and he was a great success, I now crave it. Every couple is different in what they choose for formalities, punishment vs pain for pleasure, etc., it needs to come from getting acquainted and negotiating the first months of real time together, building trust and respect.

DrWakko • Apr 30, 2019

I feel it is good to learn from as many as you can. However I don't know this op from Adam. There are plenty of educators in the BDSM world. There are plenty of major BDSM / Leather events with vetted educators. There is also a difference between education and training. Being trained, you should only be trained by the one you are with. Since everyone does things a little different it would be silly to learn my ways then go to someone else. You now have to forget what you learned from me and learn his / her ways.

If you are looking for education go to local events and get vetted to attend classes or go to major events and take the classes there. That will be your best way to learn in a safe environment.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Apr 30, 2019

Someone who has a dick pick in their profile, and also only found out about ball gags wanting to train, teach. Both of those things to me indicate someone who has much personal learning and growth to be doing before they are teacher material. Also new to the site, have no reputation here to speak of, good or bad.

I agree with DrWakko anyone seeking education would do better to go with known, well respected kink educators with published books, highly respected websites, you tube channels, who give workshops at respected kink events and the like over an unknown quantity with no track record.

Being very cynical and concerned this op comes of as an attempt to get into subs knickers via the me be wanabe educator route. Extreme caution is warranted here I feel.

MisterHush​(dom male) • Apr 30, 2019

Just touching base,

A lot of good feedback here from everyone. Good advice and caution. Again, though let me mention that the point of the idea is to have an automated series that doesnt require my input with each individual, couple or group. A place where I have prerecorded advice about safety, exploring one's identity and the more cerebral aspects of the life.

If I was interested in playing with subs all day or doing something shady, I'd be limited to handling training in person in order to obtain whatever goal I had. I did throw out the idea of a patreon but more as a suggested topic of discussion.

The way things are right now, I'm being approached for advice and training of both the Masters and subs. What I focus on is mostly how to be honest with yourself, find out what you want out of a relationship, and after that some safety tips about power dynamics and the difference between dominance and abuse. With the sheer number of requests I was kicking around some ideas to kind of lessen the amount that requires my personal attention. Typically the people I advise or train personally have serious issues that need attention from a person. Something like abuse in their past, phobia about touching, depression, that sort of thing. Giving these people a cheesy line or even conning them for some personal gain would be dangerous for them on several levels. It's why I dont kid around when accepting people for training.

One thing I do want to address specifically, DollMaker: The ballgag line on my profile is a joke. That's why it says "Joking" in parenthesis at the bottom.

Thanks again everyone!
-H

DrWakko • Apr 30, 2019

Its not about you putting out individual material. Its you putting out material in general. As far as I know you are an unvetted educator. You are giving out advice and teaching material about things that no one knows your skill level or knowledge on. Since anyone can put out material and call it educational on YouTube, I suggested and dollMaker seconded that if someone wants to learn they should go into their community and learn from vetted educators.

No one can stop someone from asking you for advice or stopping you from giving said advice. However it can be suggested that anyone that asks you (or anyone) for advice that they get a second or even third opinion.

Because you have a dick picture on your profile it does make your legitimacy questionable. Having a dick picture is and has been a red flag for most people.

MisterHush​(dom male) • Apr 30, 2019

Yes, Your input is valued and I've taken your opinion down. The conversation could still continue beyond your opinion.

I have a dick pic because I chose to put it there. No more no less. I'm not interested in fostering more requests, the subject is what to do with the unsolicited requests I get now. I didnt start a profile for the purpose of taking on dozens of people to train, yet they showed up anyway. I've received 4 new requests just today. Being the helpful sort I'm exploring a creative solution.

You think its a bad idea. I accept that. Your reasoning on it seems off though. You seem to think that I want to build an online presence or promote myself with the channel when it's more that I can direct people to the information they request without doing anything. Right now I'm personally training 4 individuals (1 long distance, 2 in another country, 1 in RL) and 2 couples online. For the most part the training is all about them as human beings, so not sexy fun times. These are people who are legitimately in need of support while talking with someone who understands their fetishes and how it manifests with other issues.

The types we're talking about how to handle want me to fuck their girlfriends, beat the brat out of their partners or share sexy texts. Not exactly desperate needs here. I'm trying not to be rude to anyone, that's kinda why I'm thinking creatively. I dont know, you guys seem to be trying to tell me that it's a waste of time and effort to be helpful. If thats how it is, so be it. But I'd kinda like to get a wider group of opinions before I settle on a plan, if that's alright with you DrWakko.

DrWakko • Apr 30, 2019

My comments have nothing to do with you becoming an online celebrity. My comments come from the view that anyone with a webcam can create a youtube video. And since you don't have to be vetted by the BDSM / Leather communities as a presenter you can put out anything information that you want. I am not saying that information you will put out is right or wrong. I'm saying that if someone wants to get information on BDSM its best to go to a vetted educator than someones random youtube channel.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Apr 30, 2019

Dr Wakko, like myself are concerned regarding your bona fides, level of experience, ethics and what makes you educator material. You have only landed here, on the Cage, and no one here knows you, you have no record here at all. That in and of itself means nothing, you may well be a decent person with lots of experience etc and yet your replies are not, for myself, reassuring regarding you having the experience, or ethics to be putting yourself out there as any kind of educator, adviser or mentor.

Putting a cock shot on your profile is of course your business, but often in the past the kind of guys (I won't say dom) that do so often think being dominant is about how big their cock is, and subs are easy fucks. Now in your case that may not be the case, only you know, but if you had the experience and knowledge you hint at having you would know that having a cock shot is a negative attractor and having one not the best start of point here, or as far as I am aware on any kink site. Cock pics tend to go with HNG (Horny Net Guys), wanabes and the ignorrant. You may be the exception to the rule, but dismissing Dr Wakko's valid comments as you have, has not reduced concern but rather raised the red flag a bit higher up your flag pole.

Dr Wakko and no doubt myself will be accused of being spoil sports, bullies, but, and Dr Wakko and I don't always agree, however on this occasion I agree with him caution should be exercised here.