Jealous of Involving Other Women

xxbabyyk​(sub female){midnight} • May 14, 2019

honestly, i totally understand you making it a limit.
Id be very hurt by the thought of him getting another girl anywhere near him if it wasnt already agreed upon, no matter what he thought hede be punishing me for. i dont know if id ever come back from that

CapnRick​(dom male) • May 15, 2019

Just about unanimous feedback for you here. I'm agreeing with every one of the posters --especially those calling his demand that you arrange a BJ for him as a punishment pure BS...

Hell --there are pimps working strings of hookers in the Big Apple who haven't come up with this bad an idea to bend them to his will and get him off.
Big bright red flag.

Conan​(dom male) • May 15, 2019

Savida, dollMaker and Bunnie hit the nail on the head with this one. I'm in a polyamorous relationship. We like to take on other women for fun from time to time. Some we date, some we invite into bdsm. But this was discussed and agreed upon in the beginning. What your dom is doing is dangerous territory. It seems like a hard limit with you. The heart knows what it wants. Dont compromise the relationship or your integrity just to keep it (seemingly) copesetic.

Freya369 • May 15, 2019

So glad...and totally agree with the others here...if something has been agreed upon ...then it remains so...it is predicated on individuals knowing who they are and what they want...and ....standing by that agreement.

Those kinds of agreements are sacrosanct, establish trust, and safety...and ultimately maximize the chances of any good relationship.

There are some real good thinkers in this forum.

BabyGirlFL​(sub female){His} • May 16, 2019

I really appreciate everyone’s input here. I continue to be surprised at the responses I get. Being new at this I guess I expected most people to say that’s part of it and if your Dom decides that’s the punishment, so be it. There is a lot of emotional health around here. I’m sorry I’m surprised by that! For what it’s worth, I talked to my Dom after I received responses and wanted to make sure He heard me loud and clear about my feelings like I suspected, and He did. He would not do it knowing how much is at risk. So thank you, healthy kinky people. XO

Belladonna Dreams​(sub female){Phage'Hada} • Sep 10, 2019

Ive flat out told my Master it wouldnt end well for any of us if this was something that were to happen. I dont share. Id either break or break her. The worst part is id enjoy hurting her and i think id still break. Id shut down mentally and detach really quick.
This isn't a punishment. This is hurtful and mean.

sir james ladies​(sub female){oh yes ple} • Sep 11, 2019

as a Polly dom, I can say without a dought this is just wrong on so many levels even if agreed to beforehand you and he both forget that the third person might have feelings in this, and you are forgetting that you just don't bring an outsider into the punishment you have earned. this I am sorry to say may well be a user. not someone who is invested in the long-range.

Shiruba Doragon​(dom male) • Sep 11, 2019

Are you sure that his motivation is only to punish you? or could it be that he's looking for an excuse to play around? If the former, then an alternative could be for you to hand him a smooth backed hairbrush and pop yourself over his knee with your knickers down.
Your wish to be monogamous is not to be criticised, it is the way you feel and perfectly OK. Many couples are monogamous and it is generally considered the norm. That said, many men play the field and many more would like to.
I am fortunate in that my partner have granted each other permission to play with others, she chooses not to and I do from time to time. I never hide it from her we have no secrets. I always ensure that her needs are met first. We are happy and harmonious and love each other dearly.

No Body​(dom male) • Sep 12, 2019

I have been on both sides of this coin. Let me be honest the thing that keeps me walking the line is the hurt it would cause her when she found out. We have talked about having a sub but there has to be trust on all sides before it happened. Sex is not something you use a s a punishment for any reason. The scars it will leave go deep and never heal. There are better ways to punish someone. I have used it before but we were open in our relationship and it was also a fantasy of hers. It was once and used against me months later when she was mad. That was the end of us. So think carefully and wisely.

SubSided​(sub female) • Sep 14, 2019

Two sides to every coin. My husband had a D/s relationship with a non-local friend of mine and it worked out well. But when he developed a relationship with someone local, things didn't go as planned.

Ultimately, the success and/or failure of any endeavor is going to be decided by the parties involved.

If this is a large stumbling block, don't be afraid to make it a hard limit. As a Dominant, he will respect your needs.