Chubby body.

Chubby body.

Lizatylor22 • Jun 5, 2019

Hello, I hope you all are doing well.
So, I am a chubby/bbw girl. Growing up with no positive body talks from my parents or friends left me with a lot of anxiety when it comes to my body shape. This has in many ways hindered my relationship with my partners. For example, I am afraid to meet a person I met online in real life because I am afraid they wouldn't like what they see. Makes me feel that I somehow lied to that person. I know I shouldn't worry about what others think and accept myself the way I am but I just feel too guilty about it. I was wondering if anyone else feels the same way and if so how do you deal with it? I would really appreciate some help?
Also, how important it is for you to have a slim s/o?
Thank you for reading.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Jun 5, 2019

For me its not, I love all body types.

Miss Magdalena​(sub female){FreeSpirit} • Jun 5, 2019

What a wonderful topic and I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to bring it up. Being someone who has previously suffered from how you feel now, I feel I can speak to this. For a long time I was petrified to meet anyone I spoke with online. I always felt like my personality did not match what I felt I was on the outside. Taking and sending pictures was remarkably difficult for me, because all I could think of were past experiences I had as a younger lady and how unreceptive I felt people were.
With some time and a bit of wisdom I can tell you that life as a chubby-bbw female is difficult when we are younger. The youth often looks for what is flashy and what the “social” appeal is. The real truth is everyone, big or small, is incredibly insecure, we all just want to fit in; and people often say the shittiest of things because there is no real understanding or true sense of self.
Being honest is the biggest most important thing. Breaking down those barriers and showing our true most vulnerable selves is one of the hardest things we can do. Being rewarded with open arms and acceptance is one of the most euphoric feelings I’ve ever felt.
Be smart about those you make friends with. These people should lift you and encourage you. They will be accepting and caring of you... all of you. There are quite a few people within this community who embrace this philosophy. Good luck, and I hope you continue to post and share your journey with us.

TheEdgeofDarkness​(dom male) • Jun 5, 2019

Being a chunky monkey myself, on a site where men vastly outnumber women, it can feel like an uphill struggle. I have spoken to some amazing and beautiful women for whom it is not a problem, they desire a mental and emotional connection and everything else can follow if the stars align that way.

All I can advise is you are YOU. People should accept you. There will always be arseholes who poke fun etc, but ultimately, it's the heart, mind and soul that matter.

TakenLower • Jun 5, 2019

I have mixed feelings about this. I want to say all the good and right things, but then I know how I don’t actually apply those to myself so how can I say it?

I recently gained a ton of weight from a medication. It absolutely destroyed my self confidence even though none of the men in my life complained. I didn’t like what I was seeing and feeling, so I’m taking steps to change it.

While I consider myself to be sapiosexual, somehow I have a hard time applying this to others. I think, “How can they possibly be attracted to me?!” You’d think my view of loving others for who they are and not what they are would help, but it really doesn’t!

My only advice is that you should be the best you that you can be. You may never be that size six that society pushes on us, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be the best version of you. If you don’t like the way you feel do things to make yourself better, and be satisfied that you at least make the effort. You’ll eventually find someone that appreciates it!

HeWhoHasNoSWITCH​(switch male) • Jun 5, 2019

Life is hard enough but add learning to love yourself in all your curves and crazy can make it harder. Learning to trust those in your life is key. Be honest and be open. As other show you they love you, it gets easier to love yourself. Keep your chin up and take courage to step out.

Soulweaver​(dom male) • Jun 5, 2019

I don't know that I am the best person to answer this, because I prefer thick women as a general rule, so I cannot claim to be unbiased. But, what I will say is that if someone does not find you to be their type, move on. Now, let me also state that I know that body issues are much more complicated than that. However, please understand that there is indeed someone out there for everyone. The challenge is trying to locate your someone and yes, it may be a struggle. Stay the course and keep trying, you will find someone!

MD

LonelyBxx​(sub female) • Jun 5, 2019

Hi Liza,

I think I never related to any post here like I just related to your words. I feel the same way even I know I'm not that chubby, I just have some curves but I see myself differently. When I look in a mirror, I see my reflection differently from what someone else might see so I get very anxious about my image. The guilt eats me up every time I talk with someone and I just panic when discussing an eventual meeting or asking to swap pictures.
For me, it is not that important to have a slim body. I believe that all body types are absolutely beautiful and if someone is confident in their skin, you can't help but think they're breathtaking, confidence is just that important.
My issue is that I got these curves when I stopped exercising because of an injury, so I lost my shape which is probably why it hits me this hard. If someone, however, came to tell me to lose weight so that I be slim for them, I would kindly tell them to shove their opinion where the sun doesn't shine because that is just very uncalled for.
I guess the best way to deal with it is to keep telling yourself you're beautiful, at some point you'll believe it, hype yourself up, make time for a self-care day and just love yourself because you're lovely and absolutely perfect the way you are, you heard this a million times but don't care about what people say, really. Personally, music helps me a lot, either something that makes me want to dance or just something with nice lyrics (no matter the language, nice words are nice words). Wearing high heels helps me too, it's a boost for confidence.
And hey, you've got nothing to be guilty of, remember you have the upper hand, if anyone ever says anything negative about your body you drop them because at the end of the day, it's their loss and you deserve someone better than some judgmental prick.
You know what? Chubby = Cute. I'm just gonna leave this here but don't forget it. If you pretend to love your body each day, you'll start to see the good sides and you'll eventually love it after some time.

I sincerely hope your anxiety gets better, I know that's hard, and I hope you get some more body-positive energy around you <3

almostpeachy​(sub female) • Jun 6, 2019

I completely understand. I struggle with my body a lot too. I'm working on loosing and going to the gym more. All of that is for ME though. I refuse to do it for anyone else. I know people who prefer BBW and my DOM(LTR) loves me just the way I am but understands and supports me wanting to lose weight. You have to love your body though. If you're fine being chubby then rock it and don't let anyone bring you down. People have their preferences and you cannot help that and shouldn't feel bad about it either. Also, when I was "online" dating I always made sure to send a full length picture so they would know upfront. Helps prevent wasted time.

Good Luck Love!

CrimsonPaw • Jun 6, 2019

Hello Liza! I'm also not the size I desire to be. I'm currently working towards those goals to be more physically fit. I'm also working on self love. When it comes to meeting people from online, I do a lot of pic exchanges and video chats first to get more comfortable.