Can someone explain...?

Can someone explain...?

kinky kitten​(sub female) • Jul 20, 2019

So I'm still new to this lifestyle, I've heard of Masters, Daddy Doms, littles, etc., but what does each mean? Are there more than what I've read? If someone can explain that would be super helpful! Thanks in advance!

dollMaker​(dom male) • Jul 20, 2019

There is a lot there to answer, and I would, but I feel that you need a primer and more information than what I can give in a simple reply so I am going to suggest you read the submissives guide website and watch the You Tube channel.

submissives guide website website https://submissiveguide.com/

and You Tube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/subguide

There will be sections on the website that will answer your questions in detail.

Loving BDSM are also an excellent resource.

Website https://lovingbdsm.kaylalords.com/

You Tube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjiqBnwzNWNbb81hatCnlyw

I really feel that looking at those resources will be the best answer to your question and will give you a lot more information I think it very important you read and learn from.

kinky kitten​(sub female) • Jul 20, 2019

Thank you!!

Azzabackam​(switch male){PawPawGirl} • Jul 22, 2019

Dom and sub- This is the most 'baseline' relationship in BDSM. It's simply a sexual/romantic exchange wherein one partner surrenders a great deal of personal control and/or authority to the other (the sub and Dom, respectively). This can manifest in any number of acts, honestly too many to list, and a lot of which can bleed over into other types of relationships, the main difference being the nature of the connection between the partners.

Master and slave- Highly similar to the above listed, a Master/slave relationship is different in that it's typically much more intense and overarching in the partners' lives. People can use the terms seemingly interchangeably at times, so it can get confusing. While this won't reflect *every* D/s or M/s relationship, a good rule of thumb for understanding the general nature of these kinds of relationships is this: Your average Dom and sub keep their power exchange in the bedroom, and might experiment with subtle power play in public. A Master and slave are more likely to live their dynamic 24/7.

Daddy/Mommy and Littles- This one's a little on the more... on the esoteric side. A lot of people crave the comfort, safety, and warmth naturally found in a relationship with a parental figure. A lot of people crave a partner who depends on them, makes them feel needed, all while exchanging emotional support. These are Littles and Daddies/Mommies respectively. Aside from the above, what makes these relationships different is that there isn't always an inherent power exchange between the partners, although it is common enough that participants have a place in the BDSM community. It's essentially what it says on the can: two adults consensually duplicating the emotional support aspects of a parent-child relationship.

These are general summaries, and you can find a LOT more specific information on forums dedicated to each. However, I do hope this helped clear some things up.

TheAnt​(dom male) • Jul 23, 2019

mj,
I know I blog the heck out of the subject of being a Daddy and my little girl sub, Kitty, blogs her view point. If you want a lot of insight into our dynamic, I have about 100 posts and Kitty about the same. But, that being said, my views are also tempered by an influence of being a past Master .
dM has given you some excellent sites for starting your search on what sort of sub you may be. I also think Aba gave you some great overviews of the main dynamics.
The issue is that no dynamic is purely one type or another as no two Doms and sub pairings are the same as another even within the same type of dynamic.
There are also switches, Top/bottom, several sub categories of DDlg dynamics (including some without sex and even the more "pc" version named CG/l or Care Giver/litter), Alphas, Adult Baby Diaper Love (no Dom necessarily required), and too many other combinations and types for me to keep up with.
My own take of the main ones:
DD/lg: (also: MDlg, MDlb, DDlb, & CGl)
As for Doms, the Daddy is usually seen as a nurtering rule enforcer and the little is seen as a sub who craves attention and can be bratty from time to time so some acting out and rule "bending" is allowed and encouraged.
M/s:
As for Doms, very strict. Heavy enforcer of rules and procedures and the subs, docile snd follow rules to the "T"
Alphas:
More aggressive Doms. Sort of what I call the asshat variety. Doesn't play well with other Doms and generally thinks they are right...no offense to Alpha Doms. I honestly cannot speak on their subs other thsn they generally seem to fall in the slave category.
These are my opinions and perspectives. My own personality is a complete mismatch for dealing with Alphas so my opinion is likely skewed. Hopefully one can clarify for you.
The ABDL is often confused as part of the DDlg dynamic as we have a form of the littles (the baby) who wears diapers but I assure you, the ABDL is not part of the dynsmic. The baby little likes a lot of the same things as the ABDL such as diapers, onsies, binkies, bottles, etc but there is little if any skat or urine play in the DDlg dynamic version (as a whole, some variance of course). The ABDL doesn't necessarily need a Dom either and the one or two pairs I have encountered have BOTH been ABDL who play together like a couple of babies would. Where a Dom is involved, it seemed more like humiliation to me but that is only an opinion based on ignorance.
Sorry, I get carried away. I probably should have counted this as a blog lol.
-DA

Soulweaver​(dom male) • Jul 23, 2019

@miranda jean​(sub female)

So the others before me have explained it well. What I will add is this, what you are asking about are "titles" and titles are HIGHLY subjective. There is no general consensus as to who can "claim" said title. In other words, anyone can claim to be a Dom or Domme, for that matter can claim to be a sub, as there is NO BDSM "purity test." However, while the title is a (self) classification of their general role within the community, what is EXTREMELY important is how they comport themselves. Both with and towards others, in public AND private. Basically what I am saying, is that no two people are exactly alike. All Dom/mes (or subs for that matter) are NOT created equal and each of us is an individual, with our own strengths and weaknesses.

To confuse matters even more, you also have a large number of wannabes, hitchhikers and ne're do wells, who latch onto the very titles you mentioned above. All in an effort to either live vicariously or worse, to try to score against a "perceived" vulnerable population. These "Instadoms" think that submissives in general, are weak, stupid and vulnerable. Where the "Instadoms" achieve their greatest success (and conversely, do their biggest damage) is among the new and ill-informed. Luckily, many of the submissives I have had the privilege of meeting over the years, are innately very strong and they submit out of choice, not from a position of weakness. However, I always recommend that newbies do their utmost best to educate themselves, both to the lifestyle AND to their own wants/needs/desires, before venturing out on a partner search. Alas, human nature being what it is, many will just stumble along blindly and will learn through the school of "hard knocks."

Lastly, there is a tendency among those in the lifestyle to "label" those that are rude, boorish and often worse, as "Instadoms." Sadly, while many are in fact "Instadoms," there are a few among us that are simply asshats (something DaddyAnt alluded to). Again, being individuals, we are reflective of all personalities and being a Dom/me doesn't "purify" one of being an asshat (if only!). So this simply highlights the importance of getting to know someone very well, before making any decision on partners. If you have any questions on any of this, I'd be happy to try to answer them.