Hypocrisy, much?

Hypocrisy, much?

Gilrad​(dom male){TreasureMe} • Aug 2, 2019

To be such a place of inclusion, consent and safety; it baffles my mind that a blog post calling out a Dom and his shenanigans (for lack of a better term) is banned but not the person doing the despicable acts the blog post reflected. All without any explanation from the Admins. Not to mention, it would seem as if my entire Blog has been banned. One post, calling out a bully and his tactics, some flowery wordplay and my voice was immediately silenced. Again, with zero explanation.

Mind you, I never mentioned names or threatened harm in any way. That's against the rules. Not to mention, the vast amount of positive comments it was receiving in defense of my stance against this individual, was overwhelming. I think it hit 106 views within 20 or so minutes of posting. Either a lot of you follow my blogs or I walked in and kicked the table over in disgust at what had happened in my absence, resulting in the spike of immediate views. Either way, it's somewhat of a record for me, so thanks everyone for the morale boost. I'm calling this whole scenario a win, even if they never let me blog again.

Here's some backstory as succinctly as I can put it:

My sub warned me of an individual. I commanded her to ex-communicate that individual. Said individual went out of their way to find her on the Cage chatroom to begin bullying her, for of all things, me giving her a bedtime. Really, broski? That's the best you've got? So, my sub handled it and her D/s friends in the chatroom backed her up which I'm grateful for their support. It obviously shook her up and she texted me to call when I woke up the next morning. I called, was told what transpired and had to think about that all the way to the office.

Not wanting to break any site rules but still wanting to set a precedent, I went about fashioning a blog that would both be innocuous yet clear. I wanted said individual to know that I was speaking to them without anyone else being artificially offended because of their own demons. I thought I had done that but it seems I got a bit cheeky and that may be why I can't blog anymore, who knows. No one from Management has explained what I did wrong and I'm not going to ask because I don't think I did anything wrong.

I have spoke about this with several people and we have all concluded that my cheeky nature of writing was what did me in. No worries, some creative editing and blog post fixed. Now we wait.

So...to make this a good and proper forum post and to incite productive conversations, I ask the following:

Do you think people should be able to just waltz into the chat rooms and begin bullying specific individuals without any ramifications to the bully? I'm not advocating for a 24/7 Mod in chat but a chat log and a "Report as Inappropriate Chat" function would be nice.

Should people be silenced when they voice outrage to that individual without "Naming" that individual? In my case, I got cheeky but I still never used their Name.

Did I overstep my bounds as a Dominant by declaring in absolute terms that my sub was off-limits? I don't think I did but I'm interested in the responses.

Let me know what you think and please keep it civil and obey all site rules in the process.
Thank you all for your participation.

Satindragon{Not Lookin} • Aug 2, 2019

I think you did exactly what any Dom worth his salt should do.

I think the report abuse in the chat room button would be great. It would need to be complete with a time stamp and a way for the administration to verify what was said and by whom.

This site is way bigger than some people realize. I hope that admin also finds a way to add more monitors, so it doesn't take so long for things to be acted on.

Curlyniccia{Protected} • Aug 2, 2019

The chat room can be an intimidating arena especially for newbies. If individuals whose behaviour can cause harm, or can intimidate, bully or harass or even have a reputation for behaviour that has caused upset in the past are able to waltz in and use under hand tactics to do all of the above then there are going to be a wave of people who will be victims to that behaviour.
The chat rooms can be difficult to navigate even for those who are not new. Should individuals who's reputation is unsavory or command attention in a negative way and this is witnessed by maybe a chat moderator then that person should be expelled from the chat.
Behaviour like that can not go unpunished. It should not be tolerated. It is unfair.

Secondly the D/s dynamic is personal to each couple. If for instance we have certain unwritten rules in place regarding contact etc why should that not extend to unsavory characters. Surely that has been discussed within the dynamic and if either person is unhappy with anything within their dynamic that is for them personally to sort out.
We dont interfere with other such decisions in dynamics. Why should this be any different.
I do think it's wrong that your whole blog has been banned. I potentially could understand the one blog but not the whole blog. Surely the others haven't broken any set rules. It feels slightly over the top to ban your blogging completely and with no explanation.
At the same time we are all entitled to freedom if speech.
However everyone has the right to feel safe and free from judgement.
The cage is meant to be about acceptance, however that does not give anyone the right to use bully tactics for any reason.
If behaviour is deemed unacceptable the victim should be able to report, potentially screen shot the conversation and send to the moderators for maybe this person to be banned temporarily. If behaviour should continue then they should be banned permanently.
Just my two pence worth.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Aug 2, 2019

I think, but admin would need to correct me, that your blog post was reported, and in being reported it took your whole blog down, rather than just the blog post in question. I suspect this allows admin to view the blog and take action, or not as the case may be.

Admin suggest blocking people, muting in lobby as a way to deal with trouble makers, as well as taking screen shots and submitting them, which historically seems to require a lot of reports for anything to happen, and over a period of time, not right away. Folks in the lobby often are left to stand up to the trouble maker individually or as a group, and sometimes in doing run the risk of possibly breaking the site/lobby rules themselves. This isn't ideal, but evidence needs to be supplied to allow admin to deal with problems. Lobby moderators is one answer, but moderators are not privy to all the info that might underpin issues, so their moderation might appear to be general, rather than specific. So that might not be an answer.

Moderating a site like this actively, or at periods of time during the day is no easy task and no doubt covers multiple issues, some no doubt skirting the edge of and stepping into potential legal issues.

Those of us who witnessed the incident this morning in lobby would be aware of what your blog was about, those who didn't would not. I feel you called it right, as this individual needs told in no uncertain terms that their behaviour on this site is not on, how they have treated subs on here over 2018 and 2019 is awful and they need to sort themselves out.

My advice is everyone who has had problems with this person, or others should report them to site admin (Villanelle​), hand over the information re the bad behaviour and if enough report then they can ban them. Any sock profiles or returns under other profiles can then be reported and removed. But here is the thing if no one reports, nothing can be done, so turning the other cheek, its not my drama, or running and hiding, or letting them get away with it means they just continue on with what they are doing, unchecked. I know its not easy sometimes to do this, but with community and friends support hopefully the strength will be there.

The community must stand up to these individuals and not turn a blind eye, we must report, defend members within the sites rules and trust admin to deal with them. If we don't then everyone not reported will more than likely go on to hurt other people, and if admin don't know, they can do nothing.