Enamored Dominant or Just a Lunatic?

rickeyboy • Oct 26, 2019

If something seems too good to be true it usually is. Just tell him him you don't feel right about jumping right into things so fast. I he answers aggressively or trys talking you into anything else be leary. If he's as good a guy as he is making out to be he won't mind just meeting for fun on the weekends for a few months until you feel comfortable with moving in with him.

Manorbier​(dom male) • Oct 26, 2019

Back away from the crazy Dom. Seriously. Nothing good is waiting for you there.

ThirtyFourPointFive • Oct 26, 2019

You are considering entering a relationship, perhaps different than most, but still a relationship.
It seems to me he is pushing pretty hard. Please get to know him better before you sign on the line and give him permission to do whatever to you.
If he is a good person, he will not oppose you on the point.

SirPain​(dom male) • Oct 26, 2019

I have to agree with all those who posted that you should set away from, and stay away from, this person.

I've been in the lifestyle for many years and in that time I have learned that someone who is so "aggressive" in this manner is in the 99.9% club of abusers and not really all that trustworthy. His wanting you to sign a contract is just his form of control with which he will use against you.

In my time in this community I've learned that a six month vetting period is best. If someone (even myself) is willing to wait six months for a collar they are, for the most part, on the up and up.

Chocolate Thunder​(dom male) • Oct 31, 2019

As a fairly new Dom, and reading what you have posted he is requiring of you, I would say thee NAY!

"Another of his expectations has been that he begins breeding me as soon as possible, so upon me signing the contract I would be completely his property. He also says that I have to really trust him and not doubt his decisions as I wouldn’t get to make decisions or have rights as his submissive anyways. I am to be fully dependent on him."

This right here is the sign of someone wanting a SLAVE not a sub. Two totally different things although the lines can be blurred. Trust is not just given, it MUST BE EARNED.

The stuff he is asking from someone he has only known for 5ish days sends up so many red flags to me and I am a Dom. Even if you do a contract, you have every right to decide at any point that it isn't for you and stop the relationship altogether

If you are feeling uncomfortable now and have to ask the questions, you really already have the answer. If you are still interested in pursuing this relationship, I would make sure to have a way out in case things go south. Either your own hidden savings or a person/persons who you can contact and will get you safe with no questions.

Do not give him 100% control of everything in your life. Keep your friends and family close. No true Dom would ever make you leave those things.

LongerJohnny​(dom male){B&C} • Nov 1, 2019

Meeshy, I responded to you here 2 weeks ago and it seems that everyone, at the time and since, male, female, Dom, sub, everyone and everyone else agrees that this guy is bad news. Everyone. People with much, much more experience than you (and him, it seems.)
That was my opinion 2 weeks ago and it is still today.
You asked us because you were seeking insight and advice You got an overwhelming, unanimous NO.
I may have missed this part, but - what is it about this guy? Why are you still even still screwing around considering this guy?? You've had plenty of time to ask every single person here had you been so inclined. So why are you still wondering?
I told you 2 weeks ago that this whole "contract" thing was bullshit. All it means is that you are willing to believe that it means anything. It doesn't.
Meeshy - Stop! No! Just Plain No. That's it. Lunatic. Period!

courtneyliveslife​(sub female) • Nov 1, 2019

it Seems like you are justifying his actions based on the fact that he has fallen in love with you deeply/ immediately.
D/s relationships are meant to bring a deeper connection to those involved and I think that’s a huge draw for a lot of people.
But even if his feeling are genuine, and you are the first person he’s done this to... aka I love you lets get married and move in and have babies because your the sub for me.
Then as a Dom he has a responsibility to have great self control. One of the things I love about the idea of a D/s relationship is that You can fully trust a Dom to know what’s best for you.
showing self control is a major way to earn trust.
I wouldn’t want to give myself to a man who cant control his own emotions at all. And goes with his every whim. Imagine what that would look like in a relationship.
If he has good intentions which I’m doubting, and he just is too eager, he is not ready for you, or anyone for that matter.
What are you looking for ? Is this what you want ?
He seems weak to me.
( just a different perspective, hoping that you can see it in a different way. But basically I agree with what most people are saying.
Red flags)

SoaringFree​(sub female) • Nov 2, 2019

No,no,no! Even if this is the type of dynamic you crave, it takes weeks or months to build up the trust to hand yourself over to a Dom. We've all been in online relationships that over this time period we learn it wasn't a right fit. Someone mentioned the sub frenzy, which I've personally experienced. Ive also heard there is a Dom frenzy. The need for control is so overwhelming, unsafe, not rational demands are made.
Please be safe and insist on a slower pace. If he refuses, it's best to leave now and not risk your safety.

John Brownstone​(dom male) • Nov 2, 2019

For him to be making such demands after only a 4-5 days of talking to me is a HUGE red flag. Changing phone providers and talking about moving in together is way to fast. If it was 5 months not days I'd say maybe, add into that the fact that neither of you have even met yet.

Building trust takes time in D/s lots more time then less then a week of speaking on the phone.

D/s and especially a power exchange (to me) is the icing on the cake of building a relationship, one where you get to know each other as people first then slowly begin factor in D/s.
In order to take care of a submissive/slave/babygirl or how ever one identifies you have to know that person, understand them at a deep level. The same for serving a Master/Daddy, etc, you have to know them and what it takes to serve that person.

I would be very concerned for your safety and yeah have to go with lunatic.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Nov 3, 2019

I call BS! My Dom and I have been together for 2 months now and he has yet to even collar me, let alone FORCE me to move in, and that is EXACTLY what he is doing.

Submissive, not doormat.

Being a submissive is a place of power. You use your submissiveness as a tool to get his mind where YOU need it to be to satisfy YOUR needs. A Dom's needs are to feel in control. This guy....THIS guy wants someone to bully around. Subs ALWAYS....ALLLLWAYS have the right to say no.

Run! Very far and very fast!