Blocking

Boo78​(sub female) • Nov 18, 2019

Trust me RopeBunnie I would never be obsessive or abusive to anyone, its not in my nature.

Savage​(dom male) • Nov 18, 2019

Trust me I know the feeling and it is bothering not sure if they are blocking us or if it’s the system itself just doing it making it seem like each party is blocking each other just a thought

RopeBunnie​(sub female)​{Not Lookin} • Nov 18, 2019

I was speaking in general terms, it happens...

Re: Blocking

KarmaCollar​(dom female) • Nov 19, 2019

I'm inclined to wonder if you're intention is to voice a concern you, yourself, have or are attempting to speak on behalf of a Dom (parroting a complaint).

What may be perceived as a "nice" conversation to one party could be viewed as ~so many~ different things to the other. I've had experiences in which I did attempt to convey (in a "nice" way) disinterest/inconvenience of timing/incompatability over and over again to someone who either didn't understand the subtext or, more likely, didn't want to.

I try to take into account the tendency of a sub to (consciously or subconsciously) misconstrue meanings out of a genuine desire to establish symbiosis and don't feel it's any Dom/Dommes place to strike out at a sub they have no understood relationship with. It leads to hurt feelings and frustration (not the good kind) either/both sides.

If a Dom/Domme is frustrated by the issue and 'wonderying why they can't find a partner in crime' they are inevitably capable of expressing it, themselves.

Boo78​(sub female) • Nov 19, 2019

I would never speak on behalf of a Dom. I just think that well in my experience you don't just plough straight into asking to collar someone or be asked what am I into in the first few messages? It takes time to see if a) there is a connection or b) there us some kind of comparability? Is that asking too much? If you are getting along and then all of a sudden blocked....thats what I don't understand. It is nothing to do with their life as someone pointed out. Its basic manners and respect. After all we are adults here!! I have had so many Doms complain that it is difficult to find a sub or what they are looking for so my point is...I am not surprised if that is how they behave.

KarmaCollar​(dom female) • Nov 19, 2019

Boo78,

I see your point more clearly now. I believe your frustration is valid, here.

I would reiterate, though, that sometimes the perception of a conversation being pleasant may still onlly be one sided- HOWEVER I think what you're pointing out is another issue, entirely.

My best recommendation (because there's nearly impossible to convince doms to behave in a way they aren't inclined to, especially immature/power play types like I believe you're describing) is to research a bit in the psychology of these situations (though better to start with basic/generaly psychology than start with a specialty) to help your own reception of this sort of treatment.

It isn't your fault, if the scenario you describe is accurate. Part of the problem you're going to face seeking a dom is getting a lot of this asshole syndrome. You're more likely to encounter natural assholes, immature behavior that they believe is an expression of their superiority/dominance (cutting you off without respectful explanation) and general disrespect. I am sorry for subs in this experience, but it is inevitable.

There's nothing you can do (venting here is a good variation of coping with it, though) to change their behavior. Understanding the psychology behind it may help you develop more coping mechanisms to deal with it, though.

I hope you have better interactions in the future.

Boo78​(sub female) • Nov 19, 2019

Thank you KarmaCollar, I think your description of assholes is very accurate and made me smile. Don't get me wrong there are some really, genuine and interesting people here and I have spoken to many which makes me feel lucky but its the few bad apples that frustrate.....but thank you for replying and understanding x

Boo78​(sub female) • Nov 19, 2019

This was not a rant! Obviously you don't know too many Irish people ?

Neches1836​(dom male) • Nov 19, 2019

Well not here but on some other sites I have found 90 to 95 percent of the subs I have contacted within a few hours or in some cases a few days of chatting hit me up for financial help. I would not mind helping if we had met before hand and knew each other or had a physical relationship. I have become very good at detecting a pattern. So that is why I block. I have not had the need to block anyone here or on Fetlife.

MrCountry​(dom male) • Nov 19, 2019

I have been blocked of FL for offering a suggestion. It was for something cooking related. I feel with the current apps like tinder or whatever other ones. It gives people a sense of power to be able to end a conversation with a click of a button.