Is this for me??

I hate questioning myself.
To know deep down this is what you want but seems you can not grasp the basic expectations...
Story of my life. I think I've messed up for the final time & if I have... Well, maybe BDSM D/s just isn't for me

Maybe it’s not you but your partner. They might be the nicest person in the world but you two might not be compatible.

And the only person to answer that question is you. Everyone can take a guess but only you know for sure.

One good way to tell is to quit. I know it sounds weird but quit. If you come back you know you belong here. If you never come back maybe it wasn’t for you.

Everyone messes up; making mistakes is human and if your partner can’t accept that then it’s not really a you problem but a them problem.

As Dr. Wakko mentioned, maybe you’re not compatible or maybe you do need to leave for a bit and re-evaluate.

But don’t use messing up as a guide to whether you are a failure or really destined for this lifestyle or not

Xx

Oh dear I lived this and I left a broken heart in my wake. Chemistry is important and cannot be ignored. Even if they make you feel warm and loved, treat you better than anyone.... you still need that fire to keep things going.

Newer submissives especially rush into relationships with Doms. They depend on that first Dom to be everything for them. Teacher, lover, boy/girlfriend, Dominant, support system, etc etc etc.... they are greedy and desperate for more. It often becomes too much and the “dom” bails because they really don’t have to capacity to be everything to that sub. Broken hearts and tears until the next douche comes along and scoops up the still broken sub. What ends up happening is the sub is left broken, confused and STILL inexperienced and untrained. A good Dominant will teach you to manage your emotions and support you. Build you up instead of constantly taking. There is truly nothing wrong with being everything to each other, but it’s a give and take and you must edify the other.

Do your own research. Talk to other submissives especially. Find a mentor that only wants to help not play with you. Go out in your local community to munches, events and dungeons and see with your own eyes what a D/s relationship is and can be. I’m not downplaying online/LDR, as both of my relationships are such, but we also have a lot of real life experience between us. The hardest thing about online is finding someone genuine... truly trustworthy..,, there are so many predators.

Guard yourself and do your own due diligence. Don’t depend on someone else to completely show you the way. Submissives are strong people, never get that twisted.

Thank you All. I appreciate the honesty within your suggestions. It's a relief being able to reach out & receive such

I would also like to further say that my Sir is an amazingly forgiving, extremely caring & understanding Yet, FIRM Sir. He is my Mentor & my Friend. We have discussed my previous feelings/thoughts of me questioning myself to which He has reassured me & calmed my worries. To Him, I am grateful.

?

Easy there.


This is when BDSM becomes too serious to the detriment of its players.

BDSM is not pass/ fail.

It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to help you grow and learn about yourself. Just because this didn't work out doesn't mean BDSM isn't for you. That just meant that dynamic at that time in your life isn't for you.


Can you remember the last time you played for fun? Can you remember the last time you had absolute and complete joy in what you were doing? Can you remember a time when BDSM helps you grow as an individual?


Maybe you're a switch or, maybe you're a furry, maybe you're not a submissive or a slave. Maybe you're a bratty bottom.


There are so many ways to be and identify in BDSM. This might be a stumbling block. But don't let it stop you figuring out who you are.

Ditto.



Questioning yourself is GOOD. Questioning yourself in my experience, means your growing and learning about yourself and the people around you. MasterBear nailed it!



Edited to fix quote

Abso-flippen-loootly

Hello Milli,
Im going to drill down a little and make a comparison. Spankings. In a previous Daddy/Dom Sub relationship that I had my Sub was pretty opposed to spanking. We discussed her past experiences and found out that the paddle used in her previous bdsm experience was the wooden type we can just say basically a large wooden hair brush. That gives a particular sting on the impact area that hangs there. Once She opened up to trying spanking again I went gentle with her to start and we tried various paddles etc....Once I found the impact that was pleasurable for her she became a spanking monster who couldn’t get enough. I see our companions the same way, once you find the correct match your heart, stomach and everything in between will tell you. Don’t get discouraged weve all been there.