anyone actually looking?

anyone actually looking?

rapidlyhip • Dec 22, 2019

I feel like this site isn't working. The Dommes that post in the personal ads don't seem to respond to messages. I haven't had much luck. Anyone else finding this too?

thanks for letting me mini vent

themouse • Dec 22, 2019

Yes , just another bullshit web site . I think everyone signs up for the free access, put in their profile , then that's it . They can't respond because they aren't paying for it .

LaVieEnRose​(sub female)​{Kintsugi} • Dec 22, 2019

I think there are more Doms than Dommes and more female subs than Male. It is a little biased that way. There are a lot of couples on here as well. Also not everyone comes on here every day even if they get a message. So there are loads of reasons, including not having an interest in your profile (which I wouldn’t take personally it’s just preference).

Byrdie​(switch female)​{rl only} • Dec 22, 2019

I've noticed that I mainly get messages from people who either haven't read my profile or ad, or don't care whether they're who I'm looking for. At that point I send out a canned response.

However, I did have a coffee date with a member here yesterday, and have hopes to arrange another with someone else soon.

I, too, have sent out a lot of messages to local folks who've gone silent, and it's discouraging. However, I find that if I narrow my search to certain criteria, read each profile before deciding message the person, and make secret notes in each profile about having messaged them (or why I didn't), my search is much more efficient.

Have you considered attending a munch in your area? That might help you find someone. www.findamunch.com

Good luck!

Re: anyone actually looking?

MissBonnie​(dom female)​{oz} • Dec 24, 2019

I'm not looking (ATM) so maybe shouldn't answer ...but it takes effort and a proactive effort to met a Domme. Most guys think she will find him....but some times you need put yourself out there in the best possible way you can. That means taking advantage of every tool in front of you. I don't know you rapidilyhip ( I think we might of talked on bond) so its not a judgement but can you honestly say your using everything to your best ability. Or are there a few things you could better. No one site is better than another, Dommes are as rare as rocking horse poo but if she is looking, she has thousands to choose from, how do you make yourself stand out?. Take look at your add with fresh eyes and try read it from from a Female Dominants persective. Best of luck in your search

Erick​(sub male) • Dec 24, 2019

This, it seems to me, is something like the approximate composition of the BDSM pie, based on random personal observation, & not representing this as gospel truth: 22% hetero male subs; 19% gay male subs; 16% gay male doms; 15% hetero male doms; 10% lesbian subs; 9% lesbian doms; 6% hetero female subs; and 3% hetero female doms.

Anyway, what you seek is extremely rare. Which goes to demonstrate one of the sad, universal facts of human relations: The people we desire generally do not desire us. And vice versa. We can't win for losing.

Hello

Belongs2Huntress​(sub gender fluid)​{Collared} • Dec 24, 2019

When looking for you're Domme think of it as applying for a job. Work on your skills that she might have used for. if you have any references from your past owners can also be helpful. But put yourself out there in the real world too. Join your community and munches is a great place to start

FunCouple​{.-Couple-.} • Dec 24, 2019

Hello RH

Over the years I have noticed a few things.
I believe people (in this case women) generally like to see good use of grammar and upper or lower case letters, not the lazy text talk, when reading a Profile. (Keep that for the phone if you must use).
They also like to see an effort with spelling (I’m bard, badd, baddie ..... crap at spelling), and the pictures you use to have a tidy background.

First impressions, showing you made an effort, count and do make an impact.
Imagine your going for a job interview.
When I get an email that just says “Hi”, I look up and then press delete.
Here’s a link to my old Profile and present one as a suggestion.
Not saying they are the best in the world, but my old Profile certainly helped improve my spanking and flogging skills.

https://thecage.co/profile/28559/

https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=28559&postid=5389

Hope this helps.
FC

Miki • Dec 25, 2019

You'll find that all sites of a "meet and date" nature, meaning vanilla as well as kink, have a very lop-sided male-to-female ratio. Online mirrors real life that way, as a woman I never have to "look", rather I go out and am found, and not under any pressure to go with the first one who comes along. Sad for the dudes but it's the way of nature.

Some might recall that adultery website "Ashley Madison"-- the one that got hacked and more than a few hubbies with roving eyes either paid extortion money or Wifey found out-- That site was found to be 90% male, and many of the actual women in there were shills. They'd write to various guys who signed up for free, enticing them to take on a paid membership to respond. After that they ghosted the poor schnook.

* * *

I don't hear much talk of these any more, but some older friends mentioned something called a "Sadie Hawkins" dance, a February 29th thing.. the only time it was not considered awkward for girls to reverse the "norm" and go about asking boys out to this dance. Otherwise a girl who pursues a guy she is particularly interested in-- is labeled too "forward".

KarmaCollar​(dom female) • Jan 6, 2020

I feel like this should be posted on it's own as a tutorial.