How To Deal With Abuse & Abusers On THE CAGE

Bhruic​(dom male) • Aug 26, 2016

You don't listen, do you? They were serial killers.

Yes, I do listen... but you are not very careful with your words.

A web site is a virtual environment. No physical violent crime can take place there. A web site has no more responsibility or obligation to the crime than would a bar, or a super market... if that is where the people involved had first met.

If a member of a kink website could be incontrovertibly demonstrated to have been convicted of a crime, convicted not merely accused, that was abhorrent to the community, then I am all in favour of that person being removed. AND I am sure any site would be eager to do so.

xVegetarianx • Aug 26, 2016

They are never available immediately during or after an incident, but as things go to court or after the cases are over, the police will sometimes release them for public viewing. The ones I linked to were already linked in some of the news articles and the cases were already closed.

When I have the time, I'll try to look them up again, and this time I'm sure I'll find a bunch of them.

One story, a girl and two guys were fooling around, and one guy was obsessed with chocking a person with hands on their neck. He called himself a Dom and that was his only obsession. During a first date after finding each other on Fetlife, he killed her and got a friend involved in helping to get rid of the body.

Another story, a guy hooked up with a girl, and she went missing for a very long time. Police followed up leads to her last known activity to be meeting a guy from FetLife. He was their only lead, and eventually they discovered he killed her and hid her body inside a wall.

xVegetarianx • Aug 26, 2016

If someone meets a killer at a grocery store, the grocery store has an obligation to show their security cameras and to let their workers and guests to be interviewed.

FetLife deleting all records of them ever existing and then denying they were ever there, especially after the police and FBI already gathered the evidence, that implements FetLife in the involvement, as it is tampering with police evidence.

xVegetarianx • Aug 26, 2016

Also, I forgot to add, that if FetLife didn't exist, the people the killers killed would probably still be alive, so yes, you can say crimes were actually committed on FetLife. FetLife also allowed it to happen by encouraging serial killer activity, and ignoring all the signs.

Bhruic​(dom male) • Aug 26, 2016

I'm pretty sure that sexual predation predates the invention of the internet.

Villanelle​(staff) • Aug 27, 2016

Reading this thread with interest without pretending to know the answers. I can't help but think that the policy of any social network can only be a single component of a larger solution.  Reading the following article this morning was a good reminder of the importance of education and support:

https://www.kinkly.com/2/872/sex-tips/bdsm/dominance-discipline-and-abuse-where-to-draw-the-line?utm_content=buffer06f61&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Villanelle​(staff) • Aug 27, 2016

Also, you can imagine the problems it would cause for this fledgling site for anyone to post alleged abuser's real names here.  We don't want to censor anyone's opinions about anything - freedom and self expression is paramount.  But we don't want to get our asses sued either.  We're still finding our footing as to community moderation and what that means.  As Assaf has been doing this since 2003 with the Israeli version of The Cage, he will likely have a better idea of how we will proceed, with the community's input and hopefully, support.

Learning from other's situations is important as is being proactive with making everyone feel safe and welcome.  We're listening and going to do our best to do the right thing while staying focused on doing our own thing here at THE CAGE.

Bhruic​(dom male) • Aug 27, 2016

"Also, you can imagine the problems it would cause for this fledgling site for anyone to post alleged abuser's real names here."

I can imagine. It's good for a site to take what reasonable measures it can on behalf of the community. Ultimately though, people make their own choices about who they talk to on the internet, and who they meet, and under what circumstances. No site can control that, and people are responsible for their own safety.

xVegetarianx • Aug 27, 2016

Here is a new law made for New Jersey in 2012 for online dating websites, which I think would help any and all websites where people can meet other people.

The Internet Dating Safety Act
http://www.njconsumeraffairs.gov/Statutes/Internet-Dating-Safety-Act.pdf

Bhruic​(dom male) • Aug 27, 2016

Hmmm... interesting. But essentially, all it says is that if a site is not going to perform criminal background checks on its members... which I would presume no site is prepared to do, or currently does, then they have to indicate that clearly.

Other than that, it merely upholds the current state of law that says that a site, as a mere intermediary for two people to meet, is subject to no liability.

The only real points of law pertain to sites that CHOOSE to do criminal background checks on all members... which, of course, would be impossible without a significant amount of identifying personal information.