rosethorn(sub female)
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4 years ago •
Dec 25, 2019
Its interesting to see how dynamics change over time x
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Online now
| JustLeather(switch male) |
4 years ago •
Jan 22, 2020
Indeed...red,yellow or green its sometimes difficult, requires alot of concentration. Especially when "lust"is involved and emotions start leading our behaviour. So during a session, especially at the beginning, maybe a good idea start training using it.
Yet, every decision we take in life...good or bad are mostly based on emotions or more particular our "state of mind". Its quite easy to get involved in situations, and always difficult to get out of it, which I know to well....! (Sadly) the oldest and best way of "learning"...is roleplay/training on the job. Dominant or submissive, we'all human beings and we all learn from our experiences. Like my mother once said : "Life's like a concert without a program". It allways depends on taking the right decision when at the roundabout of life, and fear at that moment is a bad guide....! |
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Majari Yvern(dom female)
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4 years ago •
Jan 22, 2020
Changes in role rosethorn wrote: I am curious as to how people might handle changes to their role.. personally i don't have a contract or more of a verbal one. Especially when it can change the dynamic, communication is key. Im thinking how this might be discussed, taken onboard and into the dynamic. Because when the dynamic changes the relationship can too.
I think I hear you saying that you are curious about someone switching sides of the slash when they haven't before. And how that might effect a D/s dynamic. There is a lot to think about here. If a person is feeling for whatever reason that they want to explore the other side of the slash then I feel that a serious discussion needs to be had. This can't be a one-sided decision. Both parties will be affected. In my situation switches sometimes bottom for me for play. If in the middle of play they decided to switch, I would be done playing, because I can't bottom. I don't know how and I have no desire to learn. (I love and respect bottoms and submissives I just don't want or need the skillset) If it's been discussed and both parties are interested in trying this, then one of the things the former bottom now top can do in his or her new role as top is to try to teach bottoming. Think about how bottoming works for you and break it down. Maybe slowly go through the toy bag one item at at time and try each item out, at several levels of intensity, to allow the person receiving to learn their limits. The former top now bottom can remember what feed back he or she needed as a top and work to provide that. But that's the tech side. On the dynamic side, If the D wants to become the s or the s wants to be the D type, that is going to change how things work. I think that it can be fluid because I know a couple that are both switches. And they just work out in what ways each party takes the lead. It's very practical. He tends to get over invested in too many hobbies so she has taken charge of that. She tends to be an impulse shopper so he holds the reins in that area. Both have the final word over each other's health, since they both tend to over extend physically for others. The balance they have is elegant tbh. So there are some thoughts on what I was thinking you might be asking. |
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| JustLeather(switch male) |
4 years ago •
Jan 22, 2020
well stated...Amen
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rosethorn(sub female)
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4 years ago •
Jan 22, 2020
Thank you very much for that insight. Its something that ive tried in the past... Topping is not for me but i think my ex is now a Switch instead of Dom. Honestly i mentally crumbled. Thing is it became fluid where you can revert back to old roles its a come complex dance, switching takes a lot of skill. I have an idea for how to handle similar situations in the future. Thank you. Some men find the idea that they like bottoming a difficult one to accept too, like it challenges there masculinity which is a shame.
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