HisAngel
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4 years ago •
Mar 9, 2020
To be fair he's brand new to this as in we only started the D/s aspect within the last month. Before then it was all vanilla....it took me forever to find the nerve to talk to him. I am reassuring him that he's free to do whatever he wants and have me do whatever he wants as long as I didn't list it as a hard limit and also went over safe words. I told him I promised if it was something I was totally not okay with he would know it but I wanted this .... So he's gaining confidence the more we do it. I love that he's trying for me but I made sure he knew I'd love him regardless if he decided this lifestyle wasn't for him
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Online now
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The Number one Sir(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Mar 9, 2020
semiNewsub
Its good you love him no matter what; this might not be for him at all. If you've decided you love him for what he is I think you guys are in a good place  love is so important
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Island girl(sub female){Yes owned.}
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4 years ago •
Mar 10, 2020
do some research into orgasmic breathing. I recently learned that if you hold your breath, it becomes much harder to achieve orgasm, and its true! Guess how I was doing things for most of my life.... sigh.
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HisAngel
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4 years ago •
Mar 10, 2020
I do tend to hold my breath lol....I'll have to look into this. Ty!
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sweet november(sub female)
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4 years ago •
Mar 10, 2020
My Dom and I learned this by his voice...certain trigger words.
It was amazing. I was able to let my mind go and actually not "think" which is crazy cuz i think way too much. But the work put into it and the trust and the raw emotion...i Never felt so close to someone before. Except my newborn children laying on me for the first time, etc. Afterwards I would sleep so good that I told him he was better than Ambien! Lol!! I used to always say "Money is on the dresser" in good humour. But be careful when doing this. Make sure it's someone you really trust. I have not been able to orgasm since my Dom died unexpectedly. Well, one time, another Dom friend helped me. But I know he is genuine and is still my friend. Otherwise I'm not sure how to undo orgasm control. |
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Jolene(sub female){PapaBear}
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4 years ago •
Mar 14, 2020
I was with my first husband for five years and never experienced and orgasm intimated by him. Between him and my husband now I was with a few men, who also never brought me to orgasm though they all tried. After 5 orgasmless years with my now husband, I resigned myself to being defective. But then, one strange night after my husband and I had a verbal row, I asked that he please touch me to help me calm down. He was quite put off by the request, as I had instigated and escalated the fight, and proceeded to finger fuck me quite aggressively. I felt the urge to urinate, and feeling passive aggressive and grouchy, I thought to myself, "I'll just piss on him then," and gave a little push and *boom,* I experienced my first orgasm at another's hands. We were both shocked and, honestly, I cried. Since then we've been exploring and experimenting with a lot of different things. However, whenever I feel myself struggling, a little push on my pelvic floor will help me fall over the edge.
Don't give up! And also, I'm excited to incorporate verbal commands into our bedroom. Right now I conjure an image to my mind when I'm really struggling and that's what works, but I'd like that to be in my husband's control and not mine. -Jo |
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The original Her(switch female)
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4 years ago •
Mar 14, 2020
Ah, hi! I figured I'd put in my two cents, even though you (thankfully) seem to be getting a lot of advice here.
What I've noticed is getting to know your orgasm, and then having your partner getting to know your orgasm. Yes, blah blah, they've made you cum and you've made yourself cum (I'm not sure if this is an irl or online relationship though), but have you really gotten down to the basics? The triggers that set you off, what you do as you're warming up to it, and how your body reacts as you're teetering on the edge, I mean. If your leg shakes, you make a certain expression with your face, etc, that's something for your partner to watch for as they watch you make yourself cum, and then see if you do the same thing when you orgasm by their hand (or mouth, toy, etc). Over time they'll get to learn what you do like the back of their hand, and will understand when stopping will be pure torture for you. They also need to remember that orgasm control isn't natural for our bodies, and we're very linear (need to cum, going to cum, now) creatures. It takes time and practice, but if you communicate to each other and they're giving you some slack for not being able to do it right away, it'll come. Or cum, I suppose. I hope that helped, and didn't go against anyone else's opinions too much. Good luck, and best wishes. |
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DrKrall
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4 years ago •
Mar 15, 2020
james S wrote: For women; orgasms are almost all mental.
I think You could say the same about men. We're just shallower.
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MasterNoOne(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Mar 15, 2020
Misterasmodai wrote: I have had a lot of luck with integrating tics into play in order to better control orgasms. It is not something you can do quickly or easily, and your Dom really needs to have a good sense of how to get you going for this to work.
Having an orgasm requires a certain amount of mental focus, even if it is not entirely conscious, so there is a decent amount of room for controlling orgasms mentally. This can go both ways. As you play and your Dom brings you to orgasm, try adding a particular element to your play (nipple stimulation, smacking your ass, maybe even a code word if you become especially good with it). Over time, it will become something that your body starts to expect when cumming, even to the point of interrupting the process of the orgasm if it does now happen. This is kind of the same concept that goes with hypnosis, except that hypnosis is typically more of a short term tic response and may not be powerful enough to stop or cause an orgasm. The same process can be used to stop an orgasm if you adopt a tic that takes you out of the mental space to occupy when you orgasm. Basically spot on. It's especially noticable in LTRs as time progresses and the tics/triggers become more conditioned. I've successfully used nipple sucking/biting, face slapping, spitting, spanking and choking as triggers to push her over the edge. Once the initial orgasm control is established it's relatively easy to add more triggers. One of our first times surprised both of us tbh. My ex was being very clingy/needy when I needed to get some work done for a deadline (I was almost finished and she was trying to distract me anyway), so I tied her up with a vibe on her clit and told her to stay quiet without cumming until I gave her permission. I only left her for about 10 minutes but she was a mess by the time I returned. She hadn't cum without permission so I gave her a little kiss and said "You've been a good girl, cum for me" and she literally went into an orgasmic seizure for about 30 seconds. Since then, she said she became aware that she liked the idea of her orgasms belonging to me, and that she found it hard to cum without my explicit permission. She also said that begging to cum turned her on the most and that making her stay quiet was one of the worst punishments she's ever had. |
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No Body(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Mar 17, 2020
I had a friend who was into organism control. She loved when the Dom would not let her cum. We tried this long distance a few time and it worked as long as she would do as she was told. I would have her put on nipple clamps and clit clamps with chains going to both. Watching her on cam and telling her how hard or soft to pull would get her going fast. It did not take long to get to know when she was about to cum and I would stop. I would have her stop everything she was doing and just lay or sit there. When she got to the point where she could handle more I had her keep playing with herself but not release until I told her. This made for some wild organisms. One night she held on for so long that when she did release she passed out. She told me she soaked the towel she had under her that night and wanted more. She later found a dom who was close to her and she is happy.
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