GagFan(sub male)
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4 years ago •
Mar 10, 2020
Does being a submissive in BDSM translate to being a followe
Okay here's a stupid question, does being a submissive or slave in a BDSM relationship mean that you are a follower in the rest of your daily life? And in case you're wondering I ask because this is an issue that I struggle and border on obsess about.
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Online now
djinni(dom female){smplylaura}
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4 years ago •
Mar 10, 2020
Not at all! I am a believer that most submissives are classic control freaks/type A personalities in their every day life. The boss, chief, captain, etc..... submission is a safe place, a respite
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Solace(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Mar 10, 2020
No. It's decided by you.
Ask around, like you just have, you'll find that opinions vary. Which means there is no factual definition of a sub or Dom, and what they must be/do. I have met girls who are submissive by nature in all aspects of their lives, and girls who are powerful leaders outside of their relationships. If you believe you fall into one of these camps, you'll likely also ask of this defines you forever. Again, I answer no, it's decided by you. These relationships are most often referee to as dynamics because they are fluid and they change. They change because the people do, there are more than few stories of subs realizing they want to play Dom. |
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GagFan(sub male)
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4 years ago •
Mar 10, 2020
I've heard that, although I'm not any of those I am not someone who has authority, power, or major responsibilities and I'm primarily a submissive.
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HisAngel
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4 years ago •
Mar 10, 2020
I'm a control freak otherwise not in all areas of my life but when I worked if it wasn't done a certain way it do my anxiety in. If something isn't cleaned right I'll go back over it until I think it's right lol.
When it comes to the bedroom though the thought of being in control actually just pours cold ice over my mood. At least now that im with someone I can trust 100% |
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GagFan(sub male)
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4 years ago •
Mar 10, 2020
Solace wrote: No. It's decided by you.
Ask around, like you just have, you'll find that opinions vary. Which means there is no factual definition of a sub or Dom, and what they must be/do. I have met girls who are submissive by nature in all aspects of their lives, and girls who are powerful leaders outside of their relationships. If you believe you fall into one of these camps, you'll likely also ask of this defines you forever. Again, I answer no, it's decided by you. These relationships are most often referee to as dynamics because they are fluid and they change. They change because the people do, there are more than few stories of subs realizing they want to play Dom. That's fair a lot of my issues revolve around me determining whether I am a leader, follower, or somewhere in between. |
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LaVieEnRose(sub female){Kintsugi}
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4 years ago •
Mar 10, 2020
I agree with what Djinni said, I'm a massive Type A who is a bit of a control freak/over thinker lol...not to mention I have a job that means I am generally in charge and make big/important decisions, etc., but the submissive side of me is a release from that but it is also the other half of that dominant side of me.
In fact because I am a submissive it makes me want to be less of a follower and more dominant in real life because I am not letting anyone take control away from me except for the one I choose to take that control. |
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simplylaura(sub female){djinni}
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4 years ago •
Mar 10, 2020
Djinni ROUTINELY reminds me of how bossy I am. Turning off boss Laura can be hard sometimes but once I do, relaxing into submission is the greatest relief in the world.
Don't be swayed by the stereotype we are doormats, friend. You can be a bad bitch (God bless Lizzo, though I get top energy from her) AND submissive as can be at the same time. Non-duality is a beautiful thing. |
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Sami A(sub female)
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4 years ago •
Mar 10, 2020
Absolutely not!! I am a leader and alpha. I'm also natural sub for a natural Alpha Dom.
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| LordBennett(dom male) |
4 years ago •
Mar 11, 2020
In My experience in over 30 years in this lifestyle I have met many submissives and slaves. Every one of them have been a force to deal with in every day life but with their Dominant they are love that they are not in control of their life and they don't have to worry about anything but pleasing their Dominant if He is the right one for them.
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