In a sub/slave r 2 personalities, person & thing, only one is in charge but I need both

In a sub/slave r 2 personalities, person & thing, only o

PiercedHeart​(dom male) • Mar 21, 2020

For instance, if you say to the person, "hi how are you doing today?"...the s/s does not understand this...at best it can say what it thinks is expected of it, but this is not from the person...on the other hand, if the person is in charge, and you say things like, "down on your knees...lick my boots!" (just a silly example) then the person is, of course, offended...so how can I as a Master/Dom, have access to both personalities?...to be able to Dom is great, and I need that, but to me a s/s is not a companion, just as an object is not a companion...I need both a person and a thing...a companion and a sub/slave...
This is a very personal and touchy thing in my mind, for me to ask, but I really need and would appreciate the advice from you, the WONDERFUL Bdsm community!!
Thanks!!!

DiscoveringMe​(sub female){Cocooned} • Mar 21, 2020

On the reverse side of that, as a submissive I am both a Sub and a Little. My Dom is a Daddy Dom so half of me is completely satisfied. However, there's another side of me that stays suppressed. How can one person appease both sides? I'm told it's not possible to have 2 Doms, so I am in the same quandary.

Bunnie • Mar 21, 2020

@ PiercedHeart,

I believe there are two facets to this. Trust of course being the biggie in regards to how far she will be willing to follow your lead...

And your ability to lead. If you want a slave... be a Master. If you want her to be more human than “robot,” give her guidance as to what is acceptable or not.

If she is as responsive as you’re portraying, simply lead... she will follow. If she’s not as responsive as you’d prefer... perhaps observe where your leadership may need some strengthening. This is not all on you however... it is her responsibility to meet the other side of this coin... to work on her ability to follow... to be receptive and open and trusting.

I think this is where time really becomes a big factor. It’s kind of like a dance partnership. At first it will seem clunky and superficial and forced. However over time, as you become more aligned and in-step with each other, the dance becomes more natural. You learn to “read” each other more closely, until one day, you realise you don’t even have to “read” each other anymore... the dance has a life of its own. It’s still the responsibility of everyone to maintain it, but the trust is so deep that you can both simply enjoy the wonder of where it takes you.

DrKrall • Mar 22, 2020

I think You have to decide. A thing can OC have a value, you can have use for it, it can be very enjoyable, you can like it very much and you can even get furious or sad if you loose it. A person on the other hand (or a pet), you can feel love for. I'm probably not the right person to answer (then why do i?) cause i've never really grasped the concept of objectification. To me it would only work if i had a slave i din't have any feelings for what so ever. As soon as i start feeling something, the slave becomes a person even if we've dicided different. Maybe it's me being softhearted but i think it's impossible to have both.

Apart from that i agree with what Bunnie said.

Bunnie • Mar 22, 2020

@ DrKrall,

Perhaps it depends on our definitions of what love is.

You bring up such an important defining aspect between the type of M/s I personally seek and what I would consider to be the more mainstream type. To love or not to love. And where can objectification fit into all of that?

This is not an area I speak of on here very often as I feel it kind of steps into a slightly different area than the lightheartedness of this site, however, I will try to explain a little. And let me be very clear... this is most definitely not a “one size fits all”... just because this is how I feel does not mean that this is how other females feel.

Objectification from my Master is very important to me. Oddly, not sexually though. It helps me feel controlled... completely. That for me is an aspect (among many) of how I receive love. For me personally, if I were to receive the type of love I give my Master, in return... it wouldn’t work. I don’t want his adoration and devotion. Please excuse my language, but there is a cunty part of me who feels like she has “won” if a man loves me in that way... and unfortunately... my ultimate respect lays in that realm. For me it’s about balance... symbiosis.

I need to know that He always has the upper hand. Some believe this can occur with love involved... others do not. I understand this is unusual... and it’s not my desire to try to say “my way is *more* than,” it’s simply how I am.

DrKrall • Mar 22, 2020

@ Bunnie,

I didn't refer to love in a mainstream romantic way. I love my cat, but that doesn't mean I buy him flowers and take him to the movies. English isn't my first language so maybe love wasn't the right word. Call it what You want. OC You can incorporate a bit of objectification, but to go all the way and see somebody as nothing but a thing, I think You will have to let go of all feelings for that person. I don't think it's possible to have it both ways, but I can be wrong. Maybe it's just me. We are all different.

Bunnie • Mar 23, 2020

@ DrKrall,

“I didn't refer to love in a mainstream romantic way.”

my apologies, I didn’t mean for it to seem like I was implying this.

My response was more a way of trying to share some light on a topic you stated being a bit unsure of:

“cause i've never really grasped the concept of objectification”

by the way... I think your English is perfect and wouldn’t have noticed it was your second language if you hadn’t mentioned that to be honest.

I understood perfectly what you were saying about your concepts around objectification, and I think from what you’ve said that you have a good grasp of what it is... just that it’s not to your tastes. You’re not the first person I’ve heard share similar sentiments in regards to feeling that way towards it.

I obviously can’t speak from how it would feel as a Dominant. However, I hoped that sharing how I felt from a submissive’s perspective, it may help to show that not everyone on the receiving end of it sees it as a negative way of connecting... if that makes sense

DrWakko • Mar 23, 2020

The difference between sub and slave is how you choose to define it. Wanting and needing to identify as a slave does not make you less of a person or a non person. It is a role you choose to "play" within the relationship dynamic. Slaves are people, they have feelings, they have wants and they have needs.

If you think because someone is a slave that you can just walk all over them and that what they think doesn't matter. That might work for awhile, but that slave will leave, because they still have needs and feelings. Relationship contracts can become null and void and since they won't hold up in a court of law there isn't much you can do about it.

As for the I am a slave and a little or a pet. As their Master / Dom/me you have to know when they can have little / pet time. From what I've seen most littles / pets have a point where they have to let their little / pet out. You can see it in their actions and hear it in their words. If you can't give them that outlet maybe you need to end the relationship or let them find someone to help fill that void. Maybe all they need is little / pet parties once a month, maybe they need it more than that.

As a Master / Dom/me it is your responsibility for your slave's mental health. Make sure your slave is happy and they will always serve you well.

A happy sub/slave is a good sub/slave. A good sub/slave is a happy sub/slave.

DW

skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat} • Mar 30, 2020

Girl, suppressing your needs is never a good thing. Be certain, therefore, of what you need. Also, understand that nature abhors a vacuum. If you become more submissive to him, he will become more dominant to you. Carry out small acts of service to him. Just as the trust you have gained to *this* point took time and effort, so too it will take time to deepen the relationship further. You absolutely can be both a Sub and a Little, and you can be fulfilled.

Finally, no, you cannot serve two doms. Someone with *far more* wisdom that I said: "No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other."

rottenbrat​(sub female){Skyrich} • Apr 7, 2020

@ Sky... I love that you are quoting the Bible. And you are spot on. No one can serve two masters and expect to be sane at the end of the day. Those masters can come in all kinds of sneaky forms if you're not careful.