Poison ☠

Poison ☠

BindMe​(sub female) • Mar 24, 2020

Why is it that we know it's bad for us, yet we continue to consume and crave the things that are bad for us?

https://youtu.be/lHZKPYQnsmc.

The original Her​(switch female) • Mar 24, 2020

I'll stick to talking about humans right now, not substances or other materials, since this is my field of study and forte.

It's often connected to our self-worth. Trying to break out of a relationship, but giving in and going back really makes you feel worthless, which for some people in the BDSM community, is a highly desired feeling. We do know from studies that worthlessness is almost addicting though, since you get used to it, it becomes your new normal, and things feel.. different, almost unnatural, without it. It feeds the cycle of self-loathing, worthlessness, and low self-esteem issues that make you believe this is what you deserve, and you can't get anything better.

Another reason, which was my reason for all of my abusive relationships, is unconditional love and forgiveness. You get into the mindset that you'll love them no matter what, and there's a reason why you are meant to be with them. Manipulation, if done by the right person, is subtle and unnoticeable. Love looks different to everyone, that's very true. However, that theory opens up the idea that we can't attach terms and conditions to a relationship or love, at least not emotionally.

I'm a very forgiving person, also, and I always want people to change. I know they can, if given the right situation and factors, but it's just whether or not it happens now. I would always let them back because I wanted them to change, and I thought I could help fix them. Now, that is a flawed way of thinking about why you should go into a relationship, but everyone has their own reasons.

I hope everything is going okay for you. Best wishes

I hear ya 😉

BindMe​(sub female) • Mar 24, 2020

missmaji​(switch female){Caz}

To some extent I agree with you. Especially on the self worth part, for some. And forgiving others, thinking they will/might change or that we can change them for the "better " and by better, I mean to suit our needs.

Let me clarify a little more. By craving poison or being addicted to it, I mean bad behavior in general. For example, doing things that you know are bad for you, yet you continue to do so.
Driving 90+ on the freeway,
Spending ridiculous amounts of money (when you shouldn't)
Or smoking (for an already unhealthy individual)
Gambling etc.
You know, walking that fine line......
Loving/craving the BAD BEHAVIOR

P.S. I'm good. That song popped up and it got me thinking...... so as a result this thread

The original Her​(switch female) • Mar 24, 2020

Oh, I figured! I have plenty of my own vices, and I expect many of the people on this site do as well. Enjoy yours!

Knightsundere​(sub male) • Mar 24, 2020

I mean, it changes depending on what the craving is. Most of the stuff you listed gives an adrenaline rush of some kind, or just an outright burst of dopamine. Smoking, well, that's just a nicotine addiction.

I realize this wasn't the point of the thread but bad behavior only perpetuates if you've got bad self-control (not saying anything on a personal level about that, I got up at 2pm today).

Bunnie • Mar 24, 2020

I had a boyfriend who gave me some of the wisest advice I carried for a very long time... at least until I was strong enough to look at myself honestly. He said “if you don’t want to know the answer... don’t ask the question.”

I’m wondering what you’re seeking to hear by asking this question, however I have a feeling you may not particularly like my answer... but here goes...

When I finally decided to delve into this part of myself, I found I was addicted to the drama that these situations create. The odd thing was that I believed and openly verbalised how much I despised drama, either in others or around me.

After some time of wondering why I kept attracting it towards me, I decided to finally take a deeper look. What I didn’t realise is the beliefs I had around it all.
I thought that unless things were interesting or passionate or exciting, I would die from boredom. Or worse... that I would become *boring*. “Boring” to me, was one of the absolute worst things you could call me. In my mind, that basically equaled death.

Obviously now I’ve had a huge shift around it, but it took a lot of digging and honest observation and “owning my own stuff.” Especially owning my fear around being/being considered boring. I had always needed to be the life of the party.

Perhaps this is a possibility as to why.

Miki • Mar 26, 2020

I clicked that.

"404 Not Found"

I'd love to comment if I have anything to say, but a dead link at the head of a thread-- leaves us with a dead thread.

Lemme know if you can add anything substantive to your query.

Knightsundere​(sub male) • Mar 26, 2020

@Miki

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHZKPYQnsmc

Youtube's video URLs don't contain periods, as far as I know. Only know that because I download mp3's of them really, really often lol

Miki • Mar 26, 2020

Thanks.. I see it now. Sorry about before but it did come up "404"

Low{BLK OWND} • Jan 3, 2021

I think we crave it because we have not conditioned ourselves not to
Which is completely possible if you desire it enough