Where to start

MissMH​(switch female) • Apr 27, 2020

@House Talion that's a great idea. I will have to try out some new equipment.

wolfling • Apr 30, 2020

I am not telling you to stay away from BDSM. Please keep that in mind.
I strongly encourage you to learn and be familiar with signs of emotional/mental abuse. Go to public gatherings/ munches to meet people and learn more.
Experiencing sexual/emotional/mental abuse can destroy the beauty of sex for life.
As mentioned before, stating you are new and a virgin is going to draw some pretty messed up people. As a survivor of abuse I recommend you look up and research signs of predadors and abusive tendencies. The more information the better armed to protect yourself.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you have a wonderful journey on this path .

Samsea​(dom male) • May 1, 2020

Good luck... You will need it
Two words of advice.
No pictures and No instant messaging , kik, hangouts or other...

Stay safe

Oh, just in case you think I am a killjoy, if you take your time, and chat... Lots... strike it lucky and find 'the one'.
Then it can be the most magical experience you will ever have in your life.

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • May 1, 2020

Listen to your gut instinct. If it feels bad it probably is for you.
It goes to say too that if it feels right, try it , but don't rush things. Any man worth his mettle will understand that you need to take your time.
The blogs here are pretty informative and there are always people who can answer any questions.
Remember SSCF
Safe Sane Consensual and Fun
Wishes you luck on your new venture

skyrich​(dom male)​{rottenbrat} • May 1, 2020

Yes, listen to your gut. But also listen to your brain. Females tend to let their hearts override their brains, (which is why HNG's/Insta-doms are so successful with their depredations.)

Think, seriously, about every "red flag", and discuss your thoughts, feelings and impressions with other subs before selecting a dom. You always have the choice. Use your resources.

Azzabackam​(switch male)​{PawPawGirl} • May 1, 2020

First, hi! And welcome to the Cage <3

Second, the most important thing to understand is that this is *your* experience. How you practice the lifestyle is entirely up to you. If anything you dig into tries to tell you "*This* is the only way to practice being a sub/Domme/switch/etc.", that's a red flag that said individual isn't very open minded, unless the statement is "Be respectful to other people. Always." We're big on that around here.

Another thing to take into account is that the test you frequently see is less a hard-coded definement of who you are, and more of a general summation, an easy way to summarize your interests and share them. Most people have sub and Dom leanings, but these terms are less solid than you would expect. It's less about fitting yourself into the hard definitions of some words, and more about defining yourself how you see fit, and finding your own way. For example, the test calls me a switch too, but I don't prefer that term because a lot of switches like switching back and forth regularly between a sub role and a Dom role in their relationships, whereas I could be happy staying one or the other. That's why I tag myself "other" instead of "switch". The terms are here to work for you, and you can bend them as you see fit.