everyone has a joke in them let's hear your fav

John Brownstone​(dom male) • Jun 4, 2020

Okay, if we're going to have one-way grocery isles then I'm gonna need a passing lane.

John Brownstone​(dom male) • Jun 4, 2020

I once dated a twin.
My friend asked me how I told them apart.

I said Stacy had a beauty mark on her right cheek.

And Frank had a beard.

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • Jun 4, 2020

Heard about the new Viagra 'Eye drops'?

They don't do anything just make you look hard

John Brownstone​(dom male) • Jun 4, 2020

I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.

She whispered,

"They're right behind you..."

Road Toad • Jun 5, 2020

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!

Road Toad • Jun 5, 2020

One day God came to Adam for a brief discussion. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said.

Adam looked thoughtfully at his maker and replied, "Please give me the good news first."

Smiling, God explained, "I've created two new organs for you.

One is called a brain. This organ will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and carry on productive conversations with Eve.

The other organ is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your intelligent life form and begin populating the planet. Eve will be very pleased that you
are now equipped with this organ as she will be able to conceive children."

Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great and wonderful gifts you have given me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"

God then looked upon Adam, and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • Jun 5, 2020

I shouted for 15 minutes into a colander.

Seemed I strained my voice.

John Brownstone​(dom male) • Jun 5, 2020

My boss asked me to put two pieces of wood together.



I nailed it!

Joeys • Jun 5, 2020

A Buddhist walks into a hotdog stand and says
"make me one with everything"

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • Jun 6, 2020

Stephen Hawking went on his first date in 10 years.
When he got back home his glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, a twisted ankle and grazed knees.
Apparently she'd stood him up