everyone has a joke in them let's hear your fav

Newjack​(dom male) • Jun 17, 2020

Give it to me she yelled, I’m so f***ing wet, give it to me now
She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella.

AriesGaffa​(dom male){Dom} • Jun 18, 2020

2 monkeys having a bath one says ooo aaa oooaaa the other says i told you to put cold in 1st

Road Toad • Jun 18, 2020

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter!
Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once.
TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK!
Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL!
You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never!
Turn them! Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?
Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them.
Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'

The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you?
You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'

The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

Bunnie • Jun 18, 2020

Lol!

HisHunnyBun​(sub female){Taken} • Jun 18, 2020

🤔🤔🤔🤔
Passenger seat or backseat?

HisHunnyBun​(sub female){Taken} • Jun 18, 2020

Man walks up to 3 nuns and flashes them.
The first nun had a stroke
the second nun had a stroke
the third nun doesn’t even touch him.

LongerJohnny​(dom male) • Jun 18, 2020

(I just made up this joke about 5 minutes ago specifically for this thread so be kind)

The owner of a modeling agency and a man with huge smile across his face walk into a bar.
The bartender asked him "How are you gentlemen today?"
The Agency owner replied "We are both very well. I just signed up this new guy as a model in a commercial for a company that sells fine leather gloves."
Bartender asked "Is that why he has that huge smile across his face?"



The man replied "Yeah. Turns out I gave him his first hand job."

Road Toad • Jun 18, 2020

22 Things you'll never hear a man say

1. I think Barry Manilow is one cool MOTHERFUCKER.
2. No, I don't want another beer. I have to work tomorrow.
3. Her tits are just too big.
4. Sometimes I just want to be held.
5. That chick on "Murder She Wrote" gives me a woody.
6. Sure, I'd love to wear a condom.
7. We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.
8. Screw Monday Night Football, let's watch Ally.
9. It's late. Put your clothes back on and I'll take you home.
10. Honey, I'm going to the store, do you need more tampons?
11. I know you just blew me, but I need a kiss.
12. I'm sick of beer, give me a fruit juice with a lemon twist.
13. Great, your mother's coming to stay with us again.
14. I wonder if my gorgeous neighbor knows that her drapes are open when she's getting ready for bed?. Maybe I should tell her.
15. No way, you weeded the garden last week. It's my turn.
16. Better get rid of these old Penthouse magazines. I don't look at them anymore.
17. I understand.
18. This movie has too much nudity.
19. Damn, we're late for church!
20. No, I don't want to see your sister's tits.
21. Damn these onions, pass me a tissue.
22. Put some panties on for Christ's sake

AriesGaffa​(dom male){Dom} • Jun 18, 2020

And theres 1 thing you will never hear a woman say
i was wrong

AriesGaffa​(dom male){Dom} • Jun 18, 2020

baby polar bear......... mum am i polar bear or a brown bear
mum ....................... a polar bear
baby.......................... mum am i a black bear or a polar bear
mum .................... a polar bear
baby ....................... mum am i ...... mum interrupts
mum .................... why do you keep asking son
baby .................. cos am fuckin cold