just got ghosted??

skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat} • Jun 25, 2020

Ghosting is a basic failure of responsibility or commitment.

This is why we should be careful in starting a new dynamic. Don't be so quick to "jump into the sack". Take it slow, evaluate. Some of the best advise I've ever heard: "Watch how the other person treats waiters and staff -- because that's how you'll be treated within 6 months."

It's the best advice I can give. Watch, listen and learn. If you partner-to-be is dismissive of others, it won't be long until he or she is dismissive to you. This applies to ghosting, rudeness, and a host of other unpleasant behaviors.

Unless you're planning on dying next week, you have time to wait it out, watch, listen and learn before you get hurt.

Managing expectations

maggiemae​(sub female) • Jun 25, 2020

I had no intention of not messaging you, I tried to explain a facet of my personality. I did not expect hostility and a block. I expected a conversation when I awoke. It’s less about ghosting, more about managing expectations.

unsichtbar​(sub female) • Jun 25, 2020

My heart goes out to you. This can be extremely hurtful. The closer you were to that person the harder it is. Many hugs.

laur • Jun 25, 2020

Thank you all very much for the advice. I really needed to hear alot of what you all were saying. I'm new to this lifestyle trying to learn he knew I was new and took me on to do this to me. so in the back of my head I keep wondering did I do something wrong and if I did it would really be great to know so I can learn and grow from it. Thanks again

skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat} • Jun 25, 2020

Nope. You ran into a Horny Net Geek.

MidlifeMan​(dom male) • Jul 3, 2020

Ghosting is not nice, no one should have to suffer it, but as stated by all its a fact if life, some people just aren't nice (or respectful) . I disagree with the fact people have busy jobs, a message takes seconds to send and will let the person "you supposedly care about" know you are going to be busy for a while (I have an agreement if something comes up like that a single word(like a safeword) is used to say please wait I will get back to you when I am able to) . I realise people have things happen in life and that consumes there focus (deaths, accidents, etc but not work. IMO) for a period, but unless that happens and they loose thier phone they have a reminder on the phone the message.

laur • Jul 3, 2020

Totally agree midlife man. tyvm

*hugs*

Agirl • Jul 3, 2020

It dose seem to happen a lot hun, i find it hard myself I like honesty and don’t think it’s all that hard to say it’s not working especially if you are looking for one dom and end up waiting weeks for a reply.
Don’t take it to heart and I hope you find your special Dom sooner rather then later and can leave the confusion and heartache at the door, xxxx

Agirl • Jul 3, 2020

@midlife man.. I really like that Idea of a safe word for messages it takes away the stress and confusion for us subs who overthink the world, thank you for sharing

Sabinaurea​(sub female) • Jul 4, 2020

Ghosting sucks, I've definitely been on the receiving end. But to be honest I've probably unintentionally ghosted people as well. I feel like the severity of the "crime" depends on how long you've known them. If you're talking for months and they disappear that's one thing; someone you've built a connection with deserves better.

But - for instance - if I have a few new messages/ conversations I'm trying to keep up, and I have a busy week and suddenly realize I haven't responded in a while, it can feel like so much work to go into each one and put a heartfelt response...explain my absence..the easy but definitely shameful choice is to just let them fall away. I can't say I'm proud of it. (Not running away from confrontation is something I'm working on).

I would take everything with a grain of salt and if someone stops responding just let them go and move to a new person. No sense stressing over their reasons why, it won't change anything.

The internet makes it so much easier to feel in contact with a bunch of new people but it also lifts the bar of how much communication we expect off the bat. It can definitely be overwhelming and I think it's about trying to balance politeness with your own needs and wants.