Support

Support

TalentedOptimist​(dom male){open} • Jul 12, 2020

This is the text I got from my sub:

“ But I do have something to point at. You said something about bringing out the dominant gentleman in you. I’m not trying to disrespect, but why would you ask that? You are perfect just the way you are. You are a perfect example of a man. Are there some things as a sub I wish you’d do more of? Well of course. But I also understand what you’ve been through. You are doing what you can and are comfortable with, and that is absolutely okay. As for being a gentleman though....you are. You are a great man and I cannot say this enough.”

I have been back in America 6 months and let me tell you, it feels weird walking down these streets. I live in Vanilla Valley Fort Collins, Co. Been gone from America for almost 4 years. Honest to God, the first 6 months Trump was president, I thought it was a prank. Because I saw Alec Baldwin speak before I saw Trump speak.

Anyway, forget bdsm, regular Good Mornings in my town are freaking awkward. Women literally cringe at the sight of me no matter the occasion or what we are doing. Even when I have a woman I know riding with me on my motorcycle.

Back on topic. The stressors of transitioning to civilian life, dating, and my business have leaked stress into my mindset for finding two more submissive to train, support and love. When I confided that my mental health specialists were suggesting a complete change in all aspects of my mental state. Olivia responded with the above text.

It was perfect timing. Subs, outside of the “servitude” how do you best recognize your doms stressors and how do you best apply yourself to see that through?

I’m asking for two reasons

1. To give a shout out to littleliv and whoever is lucky enough to be loved by her.

2. Bdsm, mechanics and dynamics are more advanced than regular dating. There are many women in the world who don’t know how to entice, please, study and satisfy a man in a regular relationship, muchc less a dom. The same can be said the other way around but I’m talking about me here. So what’s up?

sir james ladies​(sub female){oh yes ple} • Jul 12, 2020

Jo-Beth here, it all comes down to respect. back east or west it is something you earn here it is something given. don't come across as you need to earn my love come across as I.m worth loving. be a man first not a black man. let me tell you i first came out here and I walked down the street without the other ladies the thing I noticed was the the people smiled and the men tipped there hats. it was all yes mam and no mam. it was an instant acceptance. so that if you have the look of you have to earn it you will receive an instant F.Y. but if you come across with the respect for others first they won't cringe away the will offer there hands to get to know you.

TalentedOptimist​(dom male){open} • Jul 12, 2020

I apologize but my skin color is addressed on the front of every police badge, loan application, tax return

There are people hunting and lynching black men in my own state. I’ll keep black as a part of my identity because even though it shouldn’t matter, it’s a tangible, real thing that people seek to destroy, steal and/or subjugate.

Not trying to be defensive, but race is no longer just something that is in people’s minds. If you ask me to be a man first, in many environments that’s is red flag inviting conflicts.

sir james ladies​(sub female){oh yes ple} • Jul 12, 2020

I am deeply sorry for I can see you have been hurt in the past and can not let it go. because i have learned down that path lies destruction for all.

changeling​(sub female){taken} • Jul 12, 2020

Talented Optimus,

It's been hard out here. Even where I live in SoCal where people think everyone is so open minded and diverse...it's not. Not like people think it is.

Even outside of BDSM, I naturally settle into a place of submission with male, romantic partners. A big part of that is seeing when they're stressed, regardless of the cause, and being able to show them that their vulnerability is not a lack of dominance. That I see their strength in all of their emotions and that I am willing to submit to those vulnerable emotions, too.

Body language, change in tone, change in habits, shift in sexual habits or dramatic change in sexual habits/performance. All can be indicators of stressors that aren't being attended to and I look/listen/feel for any of these changes.

I'm an Army Brat (both parents were Army, but I grew up with my mom) and I've seen how hard coming back can be. And sometimes it takes a while to get all the way "back".

And with the way things are here, with how they treat us. How they treat you...

My heart is with you and I hope you find solidarity somewhere.

So much love and respect to you and to littleliv.