What do you wish you were told when you were brand new

why would you break something that has value to you?

The amount of truly healthy resources out there currently on the subject of kink and D/s is so much better than it was 20 years ago, when I made a few futile attempts to introduce my wife to my kinks. Forums like this, books, podcasts, there is so much available now done by healthy, well-spoken, reasonable people, and it spurs on good conversation.

Knowing I was not alone, and having her see that, has been very encouraging. One of the greatest parts has been how and when to communicate on the subject. There are many things I’ve learned. One of the biggest was that the worst time to communicate about desires/plans/kinks is in the bedroom, seconds before starting. The negotiation process, the checklist, the meeting of the minds, these are essential toward building the trust and the mood. The best communication we’ve had on this has been during long drives, or just at the kitchen table. Those conversations have been very eye opening and HOT at times, and it has lead toward some fantastic bedroom adventures.

I wish I knew that just because your endorphins makes you want sex doesn't mean that you need it. I slept with someone who was "training" me because I was new and young and had never felt what I had felt. It was a jumble and ultimately a regret

That it's healthy--and okay--to play with people who are only your friends. When I first entered into my local scene I was in a relationship with someone most people knew and it was a struggle for me to understand that concept.

That you don't have to identify as anything and it's a constant journey. I've considered myself a Little and a submissive. I don't consider myself as either now. I've refused the label of masochist and now I embrace it.

I wish I was told that Ms A's, black carbon cane, really hurts !


Mmmm, I did get told very early on '...to take your time...'


I struggled with this message, but am finding, more and more, that it is a key bit of my learning.

What if ur a young sub like under under 18

God I can think of a few, lol. You will fall in love with your Master. It's ok to let everything out - plusses and minuses. You will be very wet every day for at least a year, if not more. This is the way marriage should be. Lol

really, do you break your hot rod too?

That all Dom's are not the same and there is a fit for you. Not to give up on yourself and to find joy in the one you find. Most important what your think and enjoy are not taboo here!

Slvls... “you will be very wet every day for at least a year, if not more.” Love this... so true lol. Everything you said!