I'm lost

TNS​(dom male){TSS} • Aug 20, 2020

reaperx​(sadist male)

Me and my wife live in the same State and are in the same boat. I know 2 ppl that are kinky like me in the surrounding area. However within a few hours there are several dungeons and they are doing virtual events. I did a virtual Q&A with them a few days ago. I would suggest checking Fetlife out for events near you. they have a virtual tab now as well which is nationwide. You could also reach out to me i am 3 hours due east of you. stay stong i know that feeling of being alone in they type of community. I grew up in it.

TNS​(dom male){TSS} • Aug 20, 2020

reaperx​(sadist male)

Me and my wife live in the same State and are in the same boat. I know 2 ppl that are kinky like me in the surrounding area. However within a few hours there are several dungeons and they are doing virtual events. I did a virtual Q&A with them a few days ago. I would suggest checking Fetlife out for events near you. they have a virtual tab now as well which is nationwide. You could also reach out to me i am 3 hours due east of you. stay stong i know that feeling of being alone in they type of community. I grew up in it.

kajirasubm{On Hiatus } • Aug 22, 2020

it's not about someone saving you.
In reality, you save yourself.
Life is filled with interruptions and complications.
Perhaps things are on pause for you at the moment, because it's your time to go through a growth process.
You are not lost. But merely going through a solitary path at the moment.
Face each day as best as possible.
You will look back upon this period in your life as the one which brought you the most strength.
Stay positive....life will get better.

Re: I'm lost

Miki • Aug 22, 2020

I split time between 2 "small" towns and no, there is little action to be found in any small town. But since you have those toys packed away and collecting dust you must have gotten some joy before. I take it you weren't getting the action in your home town. Gotta move around a bit, go where the fun is.

Personally, as I said I split time between two starchy high-end college towns but I actually prefer my adventures be done away. Dual life kind of kicks. At home I'm just as buttoned-up and "professional" as everyone else but they don't know what i do out of town behind closed doors in dimly lit rooms. Since I'm a woman in a professional position I prefer keeping the naughty away from the nice.

hank submissive male​(sub male) • Aug 22, 2020

I can empathize with you I also live in a small town and cannot find a Domme in the conventional way as there are no munches in our area and my circle of travel is limited as I do not own a car I thought about uber but I am having a cash flow problem so that is out but if I can get to a munch it would really help as long as they were friendly I would hate to go somewhere and feel ignored

dollMaker​(dom male) • Aug 22, 2020

reaperx said

'I have reached a brick wall in my life I live in a small town with close minded people with no sense of adventure to try new things BDSM saved me I could never go back to the vanilla way it just dose not do it for me I have packed all the whips cuffs ropes gags and now they sit in the closet collecting dust just as my most the things in my life I'm just on pause trying to figure out what to do meeting people is hard for me I never really fit in it's been hell I guess the true question is single forever or will someone save me as someone did all those years ago when I was introduced to the lifestyle that made me feel like I could be myself and not hide in my shell'

Dead time is only dead time if you let it be that. My advice is study, become the very best you can be with the activities you enjoy doing, or want to do. I would work on yourself to become the very best you can be. There are plenty of book, and video resources to help you do that. As well as book, and videos, there are events, workshops and conventions, which will be very much worth attending, to take the book, video knowledge further, also you never know who you might meet. Practice, practice and practice more. Expertise, confidence (not arrogance) and sophistication that comes with that is very attractive. You will be making yourself ready for that encounter.

There is a saying that 'your vibe attracts your tribe' and that is my finding. Who you are, how you carry yourself, your experience, knowledge, how you interact with people acts as an attracter, or a repeller. Work on yourself and when the right person comes along....

Are there kinky people in your area, underground? More than likely. You could create a munch, and put it out there that you would like to create a safe place, build a community in your area. There might even be one already, underground, and your efforts might bring that to light. Do this on the cage and other kink sites, but if you come across as creepy, desperate or just doing it to find someone more than likely it will fail. Genuine kinksters, can be a fussy, astute lot and will smell BS very quickly.

You need patience, passion, and tenacity, and you must keep on keeping on. It may take a week, or years but you need to not allow dead time to grow. Here is the thing. There are all kinds of kinky people out there thinking the same, its just possible one, or more of them is mean't for you. If you give up and hide, then you will never know.

KnottyBunny • Aug 22, 2020

I truly feel your heartache. As a masochist, its hard for me to find anyone local to me to give me the pain I need. Im so sorry, dont give up though!

reaperx​(sadist male) • Aug 23, 2020

I just wanted to say thank you all for the amazing information it's been helpful I have been spending all my time lately building on myself trying to dig myself out of this emotional funk I have been in I feel that I have to love myself to the fullest before someone else can you all are why I love this community it's so supportive so thank you and God bless you all

Tthomas • Aug 23, 2020

If a man likes to fish and he has trouble catching fish he will do one of two things. Get a bigger net or find a new fishing hole.

Miki • Aug 24, 2020

Wow another Masochist! I travel to larger towns with munches.. Make connections and .. go from there.
So far, the treatment out of town has been delicious.