Chastity as a Fetish

Chastity as a Fetish

outsideleft​(other male) • Jan 24, 2018

I see from many posts, that many male subs are kept in chastity by their Dommes - suggested as a Domme form of control.

Yet, i see that many male’s have chastity fetishes and wonder that if the chastity is satisfying a sub’s fetish, that the Domme is not really controlling anything.

Just trying to make sense of this, as i see many posts declaring male chastity iis a fairly standard requirement - as it is not a fetish of mine, i wonder that its widespread use, quoted to support it as Domme-led, is somewhat misleading - as a fetish there is no need to enforce, there is no denial of anything, nor does its application enforce control.

If you satisfy a fetish of mine, i will happily do whatever is requested - there is no power over me because i act out of receiving not being controlled.

Just wondering ?!!

Miss Karou​(dom female){Mistress S} • Jan 25, 2018

My sub by actually has or maybe had at this point a Chastity fetish. As a training tool, he was left in for a month and was only milked once. If it was a fetish, I’m pretty sure it is no longer so.

I had the same concern. I think the males that it is a fetish for like the idea of being caged for play or a defined period of time. The ones who see their bits as the property of their D-type can be in it for undefined periods and be happy. IMO.

cyndi lucy • Jan 26, 2018

I have always wanted my sub to wear a chastity cage but he is not comfortable with it. Although I couldn't have him wear it all the time. I want to have sex too

outsideleft​(other male) • Jan 26, 2018

Oh, i hate the idea of losing access, love the idea of sacrificing, to a Domme, things i have value for, such as access to my luggage.

I guess, this is the part where I'm coming from - if i agree to be caged, it will be a legitimate sacrifice - a thing I really do not want to do - while I am excited by the idea of transferring authority of my most valued things, autonomy and access, the access issue is fundamentally more terrifying to me than transferring my autonomy to a Domme.


I get that my terror is out of proportion, that if I am careful with who I allow to hold the key to that cage, that it will be rewarding to both of us - but as I've never experienced that type of reward yet, it - the unknown - has me by the testicles and i am feeling utterly squeezed n twisted with the fear of, of - really, I will be in deeper submission, so it is a place I wish to experience, but...but...do I have too ??? Haahaa, laughing my fukking head off at the way I'm winding myself up - fukking pussy sub - haaahaa - if only some Domme'd drag me somewhere and thrash me for terrifying myself so - a little like topping from the bottom.

I've been floating such ideas for several weeks now, since first horrifying myself with such ideas - the Domme I was, partially, seeing had sidelined me to teach me a lesson in patience and respect - over that time, in speaking about this issue, being caged, it does not seem so scary and in being sidelined from Her company, I'm realising i am very willing to negotiate on limits if necessary toward an agreed outcome - after all, perhaps She and I can agree on a trial, for say - 3-hours - haaahaa...jayzus, closing my legs thinking about what She will say !!!

Thanks for the replies, they both helped me in the psychological shifts I've had on this issue.

Always keep a spare key

Miss Karou​(dom female){Mistress S} • Jan 26, 2018

You should always have two keys.

My sub had a key to his device . We took an envelope, he signed across the seal and we taped it. He carries this key with him , sealed at all times. The other key is on my personal key ring that is on my person at all times.

No matter how much autonomy you wish to give Safety must ALWAYS comes first . Hence the envelope and sealing it as we did. He was only permitted to break that seal if it was an emergency.

SubDraco​(sub male){Caged} • Jan 27, 2018

wouldnt it be better if you signed across the seal instead of him? he in theory could just use it, get a new envelope and re-sign it.

Byrdie​(switch female){rl only} • May 20, 2018

I admit that I raise an eyebrow when a submissive lists a bunch of kink activities that his dominant "must" do:

"I must be kept naked all the time I'm in the house and out in the yard, pantied in the outside world, caged up every night, and you MUST lock away my manhood and milk me regularly so I can be your little bitch and ..."

Um. Wow. I understand sharing a vision of one's ideal life, but when it sounds like a list of demands with no room of compromise, I start zoning out.

That said, I'd love to find a local chastity enthusiast who is looking to be directed in how that chastity gets used and played with. It would seem to me that trying to push someone into submitting to it would be harder than finding someone who already has their own device. It's their attitude and the way that they present their interest that would concern me the most.

Muse​(sub male) • May 27, 2018

Excellent dilemma you bring up here. I love it. Aren't all healthy D/s relationships composed of people who's interests compliment each other? Just as one person loves to spank while the other loves to get spanked so one person wears the key while the other wears the cage (etc.).

I'm realizing more about myself as I explore chastity (it's my biggest kink) I think we simplify our needs and desires by saying as Dom's we want control and as submissives we want to give up control. I think, in my case anyway, it is much more profound and subconscious than that.

I hypothesize that I love chastity because it convinces me that my partner is always behaving upon her/his desire to be sexual with me when they are being sexual with me; since they have this power over me there would be no reason for them to be doing sexual things to me just as a form of manipulation to get me to do somethings that they were secretly afraid to openly express they want from me or that they want me to do.

As you probably have gathered, this fear of manipulative tendencies in my partners is indeed the result of being around someone for a very long time who was very dishonest, in-genuine, and deathly afraid to express their desires to others, even those who love them, and I think this is one of the main reasons I have subconsciously latched onto this idea of chastity.

When someone is holding my key, they have no reason to be anything but completely honest and open about their desires, sexually and otherwise, especially when I am open with her/him about myself having a strong desire to please her/him.

I think the aforementioned point is arguable but I'm really trying to say that I love chastity to give away power, sure, but much more than that I love it because it is both the cause and the effect of my trust for this person that I like (my keyholder) and that trustworthiness is a necessary condition for me to feel safe and only when I feel safe can I be truly present and sexually free, honestly.

I like to think that a/all keyholders would have a similar thing to say; having someone in a cage makes them able to trust them more and therefore feel safe and therefore free to express and indulge in the sexual desires.

This is mostly hypothesis.

DammitJanet​(sub female){NOT INTERE} • May 27, 2018

Excellent point, I’m a female sub, though I’ve enjoyed play with a male sub, I’d give him a chastity cage as a reward, if it’s his kink you’re not controlling your sub with chastity, but I’m a giver and not a taker.

SportySpice​(switch male) • Jun 14, 2018

I can report that yes being in a chastity cage is a fetish of mine, but it doesn't ruin the Dom's power. I have had rules in place like having an unknown release date. There are many other measures that can feed the fetish but definitely add to the power the Dom is wanting.