I entered Kink 4-months ago, identifying as a submissive - my deepest desires remain submissive.
Of late, however, I seem to be recognising several limits I appear unable to offer up in submission - wishing to never 'top from the bottom', I am in a process of exploration as to perhaps metamorphosing into a switch - this, possible transition is in its most immediate infancy and may resolve itself in outcomes not yet known - I do love serving !
I wonder if this transition, may be my Viking nature coming to the fore - I remain, however, essentially and determinably submissive.
I hope for a D/s relationship within which I may, respectfully, express my intellect (eg: current affairs, politics, justice-fairness).
Within that relationship, I wish to participate in public and private kink seriousness and kink play - I have no interest in vanilla lifestyles, so am not able to submit to being a cleaner, driver, etc...while being kept celibate.
Being an avid student, I am seeking a Domme/mentor - who may assist me in becoming ever more worthwhile - to become the submissive that Domina wishes to serve Her, perhaps take me on or assist my training until such time as a Domme may find me worthy - in 2018, I will study Shibari, leather-work, Salsa - continue my massage education, patience, obedience, and onetaste-meditation - all directed to improving my abilities to deliver pleasing outcomes to a Domina.
I am generous but not available to Findom.
To have a robust, weekly, sex life - as defined by my Domme and if it is Her choosing, focused on whoever's pleasure. I am prepared to gain my own pleasure vicariously, via others pleasure, but I wish my vicarious pleasures to occur regularly, weekly.
I am unable to submit, with any integrity, to celibacy - or permanent chastity. I possess a cage, and am fitting for a newer, metal cage and am able to commit, with integrity to the authority of a key-holder, however, my releases must be regular - can be solely for the pleasure of another, but regularity is key - this is the switch aspect of my personality coming to the fore.
In my first attempt at submission, I was utterly naive in the negotiation stage - I suffered terrible harms as a consequence. I realise now, after receiving widespread support, that I must not abandon myself to submissions I know I cannot fulfill, or to Domina demands that I know will be harmful to me.
I equate harm as utterly different from pain or suffering, both of which I am prepared to accept for a caring, supportive, generous, fair yet demanding and authoritative Domina.