Fear (In A BDSM Context)

Fear (In A BDSM Context)

Villanelle​(staff) • Oct 21, 2016

We're heading in to the most fun (and fear) filled time of the year so I figured it's a good opportunity to talk about fear play.  One of my favourite sites, www.kinkly.com describes fear play as follows:

Definition - What does Fear Play mean?
Fear play describes any sexual activity that involves the use of fear to bring about sexual arousal.
 
In fear play, an individual's terrified mental state triggers a rush of adreline which causes arousal. Fear play is different from masochism, in which arousal is caused by an endorphin rush.

Fear play falls into a category of BDSM-related activities, marked by high physical or psychological risk, called "edge play." 

Kinkly explains Fear Play
Some forms of fear play may take advantage of a person's pre-existing emotional doubts and fears, of abandonment or humiliation for example, while others work on a physical level. Physical forms of fear play include medical play, knife play, and kidnapping.

How do you feel about fear play? Does fear, real or roleplay factor in to your bdsm at all?  Maybe you think fear has no place in a D/s relationship?  Subs, is there some level of fear of your dominant? And if there is, is that a bad sign?

Tim Treadwell​(dom male) • Oct 21, 2016

Thank you for the info, 
Your never to old to learn valuable lessons. 

Villanelle​(staff) • Oct 26, 2016

Thanks Tim!  I find the topic intriguing...

One of the challenges I experience as a dominant is self -restraint (not in a bondagey type of way).  As a sadist I LOVE inspiring fear, albeit in a safe setting with set parameters, because, you know, I'm not a criminal .  In the intensity of a moment it can be overwhelmingly intoxicating to feed off the pleasure the fear in my submissive inspires. But somewhere, even when we are both completely lost in it, we have to reserve a tiny bit of our consciousness to know we are both utterly safe.  I don't know how one could do this type of play outside of a long term relationship.  The level of intensity and trust required is incredibly high, not something one does with a stranger.  Particularly as some people, both dominant and submissive can get so lost in a moment, fueled by an adrenaline rush or lost in dom/subspace to the point where they stop caring about anything other than the moment at hand.  If you don't care about who you are with and you haven't carefully discussed desires, limits, safety, etc., ahead of time, I don't know how you could even begin to attempt fear play with a stranger.

Re: Fear (In A BDSM Context)

ham_sandwich • Nov 10, 2016

Fear is an important element in BDSM.  For myself, as an example, I have a moth-to-the-flame fascination about being whipped to tears by my wifemistress.  I desire this, yet at the same time, I'm scared of it.  I really want her to do this to me so that I can prove to both her and myself my willingness to submit to it, but I am also terrified (what's wrong with me?!) at the thought of it, which produces genuine excitement.  Kind of like having to will oneself into stepping into an ice cold shower.  So far, she's brought me very close to this point, but we've not gone over the edge yet.

imvictim​(masochist male){Yes} • Nov 25, 2016

Fear is essential for the entertainment of a Sadist. the victim has to be in agonizing fear of the worst pain , abuse, damage.

pk61 • Dec 29, 2016

My Master was more about humiliation than he was about pain. He liked to humiliate me in subtle & not so subtle ways in front of others to see their reactions & mine.
The mixture of terror, anxiety & excitement was a roller coaster ride.
Fear of the unknown is a very powerful fear.