How can you get someone to see that what you need and want is not Vanilla

Redmage​(dom male) • Sep 13, 2020

That was a most brilliant post, from Mistress Bonnie. (I know when to submit.)
I am glad I was wrong about the Domming from the bottom bit.
I loved the suggestions of island girl, being clear about your roles and expectations. Do you have a collar for your bedroom?

All of you are brilliant and resourceful people. I can only conclude by stating that wicked is a most wonderful and beautiful submissive and I envy her Dom for having such a precious gift.

Mistress Bonnie you can give me lessons any time.
J.M.Rott(Dom)

wicked sabina{Taken} • Sep 13, 2020

Thank you Miss Bonnie for all of your advice. I appreciate the time you took to respond to my post. I will talk with my dom and read your post to him. I believe it will be very helpful. It is definitely going to be a life long commitment that and im in for the long haul. He is my light even at the darkest times. I really like the idea of marking areas to strike. Thank you. Again Miss Bonnie.

wicked sabina{Taken} • Sep 13, 2020

Redmage. Thank you. For all your help. To answer your question. Yes i have a collar in the bedroom. I really appreciate you taking the time to help a confused new submissive.

AlexLeeSadist​(dom male) • Sep 14, 2020

Beating/hurting/whatever a female is really counter to what passes for socially acceptable now; never mind that BDSM and your desires involve consenting adults. If a man doesn't have an interest, I suspect it would be exceptionally difficult to stimulate that desire - same as it would be to try and convince a "normal" or "vanilla" woman that she'd really enjoy being restrained, beaten, and treated like nothing more than a set of fuckholes.

All you can do is let him know what you want, how badly you want it, and encourage him to explore with you. If that's not enough, at some point you'll have to let it go or experiment/explore with someone else.

Good luck.