A wonder happend but I dont know what to do

Sasa​(dom female) • Sep 28, 2020

What is the problem for you with a coffee, lunch or dinner first? Shouldn't you have a good talk first, face to face? Kinky fuckery is secondary if you both want a relationship and even if you would want to enjoy a one night stand only, he will be interested or he's not what you think.

gypsyprincess​(sub female) • Sep 28, 2020

Im assuming the hotel would have a bar in it? Maybe meet there first and follow your own judgement from there.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Sep 29, 2020

Gee, this is pretty common in the gay world, it's called an anonymous "hook up." Not sure about Poland, whole other place, but i cannot count the number of times i've hooked up anonymously with another guy for sex. i'm a total bottom and there have been many times when i have not even seen the guy who is breeding me. There is definitely risk involved, but there always is. Meeting someone for dinner or coffee first is no guarantee they are legit. A hotel is a public place, it's not like he is wanting to meet you in a dark ally, especially if its a reputable hotel. Tell him your concerns, see how he responds. Also, if you are in control of renting the room, you have more control over what's going on.

TotalTrouble{Taken} • Sep 29, 2020

Please use your head and listen to your gut not your needs. Be very careful. If anything Public Definitely. You could even have a friend hide out in a corner. If your still going to go through with this, make sure you tell your friend exactly where you are at least. follow those instincts, that bad feeling or uneasiness. You better listen. Could be a nice man and if so congrats. But pls just be careful.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Sep 29, 2020

Just read your profile. You do not have much experience and you have a pretty extensive list of kinks, things you are interested in, but i wonder how many of them you have tried? i like the idea of a friend knowing where you are and you being in control of the room. Honestly, after reading your profile, i'd suggest you start a little slower. i don't know what you have planned, but your ad and profile are pretty wide open. If you are new to this, i'd back off on both your ad and profile and put fewer things and take it a few steps at a time. You seem really wide open, and that doesn't strike me as a good idea until you have some experience and know what you are getting into. Best wishes. i'd rather see you be over cautious that sorry.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Sep 29, 2020

safe calls are your friend! they keep you alive, well and safe..mentally and physically. If you not sure how they work, ASK! there is no shame is asking (dont want to so publicly here my inbox is open to you if you need). In short someone needs to know where your going. Someone also needs to know how do check in calls with predetermined safety words. If your worried what will the Dom think, with you using these? A knowledgeable and skilled Dom, will understand and expect to you to be using them, he will not see it as you not trusting him. He is expecting you to use your big head, it is a sign of a good submissive that sees, the value of what she offers. While your also thinking clearly, do you understand subfrenzy? are you in a frenzy now? Is it effecting your BETTER common place judgement? Again, no shame asking what this is, if your unsure. (note I'm not saying you are, just covering all the bases. Only you can answer that)

always meet for the first time in a public place. You need chemistry as well as kink compatibility. Those two don't always go hand in hand when you met in the flesh, even when you've seen a picture. Some times body language can be off putting, or even those kinky pheromones don't add up or not feeling it or not the day you meet. Meeting publicly not only keeps you safe(r) it give you an easy out, if he isn't the Dom you dream off, in reality. If he is the right Dom for you, he will still be there if you choose to wait, if you ask to met for a dinner or a coffee...or even for a drink at a bar.

If you do met and feel you want to take it further than you can always book a motel, just don't forget to let your safe call know and don't forgot to use the check in method, EVEN if you think all will be fine. Ok some hookups (sex for sex sake, not looking for a relationship) works out and goes fine...but always remember when it comes to Kink, there are those that use kink as cover for unhealthy hookups where your nothing more than an empty! (no thought of you, no feeling) If your good with that, go for it, just still do it safely or safe"r" There is nothing wrong with being in control of your own sexually and dont let anyone slut shame you! .....just be safe(r)and always keep in the back of your head, it might of been OK last time, this time it might not be....it will keep you grounded and seeing what you other wise might not see. Every one can appear wonderful in text, the real world can look very different in reality!

exploringsubmissive​(sub female) • Sep 29, 2020

Please, meet in a public space first! You can go to a coffee shop, or walk around a park. I have made this mistake before and while I was extremely lucky, I shudder when I think about what could have happened.

You need to be able to know this man well enough to talk about boundaries and limits. He may be wonderful! You may meet in person and find out that he is perfect for you, but please keep yourself safe!

magicHands​(dom male) • Sep 29, 2020

Pray tell how is this a question??

You as the submissive chose to give away your submission to someone who has EARNED it. The more control they demand the more responsibility they take on to earn it. If they have total control of you they are also totally responsible for your happiness and safety. If he/she is using that power only for their own enjoyment they are not a dominant. They are an abusive bully and victimizer. It is an abuse of control to create this situation. I would never expect a sub to turn them self over to me with out meeting and them being comfortable that I have earned their submission to me. It is rarely appropriate for the first meeting to being involved and completely inappropriate and wreck-less (both for your safety and their own) to suggest a first meeting that is not in public. And wrong to expect you to submit to them before they have earned that trust from you.

magicHands​(dom male) • Sep 29, 2020

P.S. It would be worth while to ask your self why you would not value your self enough to not put your self in such an unsafe situation.

subbyboiXx​(sub male) • Sep 29, 2020

Thank you all for answering! I never ever thought that so many wise and kind ppl will ever respond to this xd I gonna ask him for a coffee now. Like I have my entire life to do kink, and even if I will never rly have an occasion to do it, then there's so much more to enjoy in life and I shouldnt waste all of that for one handsome guy. Thank you again. Y'all are amazing!