| PrincessKitkat(switch female) |
4 years ago •
Oct 9, 2020
Double Dom?
Total novice here.
My husband is a terrific Dom. I'm a terrible Sub. I try but I do not enjoy it. However, I want him to have everything he wants. Would it be weird for him to have a sub, but I get to join on the fun if I choose. Is there a name for this type of relationship? |
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Online now
strictlygentle(dom male){Queen Alex}
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4 years ago •
Oct 9, 2020
Sounds almost exactly like our situation!
Throuple or triad are good places to start, but I don't know of a term that specifically covers what we're lookin' for. |
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slavebilly(sub male)
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4 years ago •
Oct 9, 2020
Who told you you were a terrible sub? How lo g have you been living as Don and sub? How do you think adding another sub will improve things?
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House Talion(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Oct 9, 2020
Whether it's a d/d/s or d/s/s or m/d/s, it's a triad
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Kara(sub female){Dark Roast}
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4 years ago •
Oct 10, 2020
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| PrincessKitkat(switch female) |
4 years ago •
Oct 10, 2020
slavebilly wrote: Who told you you were a terrible sub? How lo g have you been living as Don and sub? How do you think adding another sub will improve things?
I say I am a terrible sub. I enjoy it for a scene. But he wants to get into it much more. I started dominating him just so I wouldn't have to be the sub (and he was surprised he liked it). But still, I'd love him to find a sub so he can explore this fully. I just might like to join in or watch sometimes. |
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IowaDom(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Oct 10, 2020
Please be careful opening Pandora's box. Make absolutely certain you are going to be 1000% ok with what you are considering....
Going to be ok with him inside another person and enjoying it? Going to be ok if this new sub falls in love with him? And him with her? And when he takes a dominant role caring for her needs etc etc etc? This egg cannot be put back once scrambled ... just consider everything!!! Have you considered exploring other kinks you might both enjoy? there are literally hundreds of them! Perhaps a yes/no.maybe quiz is in order? you both take it without sharing, then swap papers ... here is a good one ..... http://www.thatotherpaper.com/files/Yes_No_Maybe.pdf not trying to talk you out of it, just make sure your eyes are WIDE open, or you could be in for a game changer! |
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| PrincessKitkat(switch female) |
4 years ago •
Oct 10, 2020
IowaDom wrote: Please be careful opening Pandora's box. Make absolutely certain you are going to be 1000% ok with what you are considering....
Going to be ok with him inside another person and enjoying it? Going to be ok if this new sub falls in love with him? And him with her? And when he takes a dominant role caring for her needs etc etc etc? This egg cannot be put back once scrambled ... just consider everything!!! Have you considered exploring other kinks you might both enjoy? there are literally hundreds of them! Perhaps a yes/no.maybe quiz is in order? you both take it without sharing, then swap papers ... here is a good one ..... http://www.thatotherpaper.com/files/Yes_No_Maybe.pdf not trying to talk you out of it, just make sure your eyes are WIDE open, or you could be in for a game changer! This is probably the best advice I've received all year (in all aspects of my life). Thanks for the reminder that it's not just sex. And thanks for the quiz! |
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IowaDom(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Oct 10, 2020
No problem, just didn't want to see a good marriage dissolve for a bad reason .... oh, and please PLEASE remember, being a good sub does NOT mean doing things you do not want to do. Of course you are not good at doing something you do not want to do... who would be? If the activity is not something BOTH of you want to do, it does not belong in the dynamic ... vanilla or kink.... period. And that is no reflection upon your worth as a sub, or his as a Dom. quite to the contrary....
A good Dom or sub does NOT force, or coerce their partner into any act that is not Safe, Sane, AND CONSENSUAL.... without exception. I am sure your husband is a good man, and if you want to honor him as a Dom, do so by keeping the communication wide open, all the time, and that does NOT include sharing him or you if that is not what you both really want. 
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Miki(masochist female)
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4 years ago •
Oct 10, 2020
Re: Double Dom? PrincessKitkat wrote: Total novice here.
My husband is a terrific Dom. I'm a terrible Sub. I try but I do not enjoy it. However, I want him to have everything he wants. Would it be weird for him to have a sub, but I get to join on the fun if I choose. Is there a name for this type of relationship? No such thing as a Sub who "doesn't do enough". It's up to the Master to enjoy and please his sub to the Max. My 2 cents. |
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