| The Thinker(sadist male){NotLooking} |
4 years ago •
Oct 10, 2020
Trust - from the dominant's perspective
Question for dominants only please.
Do you need to trust the submissive? If yes, in what respects? |
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Online now
TheWhorelock(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Oct 11, 2020
Absolutely!
I need to trust her on many levels! Aside from simple concepts like “She won’t hugely betray me and use BDSM against my in court”... Things like: I need to trust that her boundaries are solid, and that her desires have depth to them. I need this because D/s is intense, and will bring up your stuff! In my world you can’t give away your power if you can’t own it to begin with, and desire won’t last if a person doesn’t know themselves well. I need to trust that her heart see’s me, and not just the hidden unconscious hopes she had for her father. All relationships contain elements of projection, but if she can’t see me as the actual human that I am, then the dynamic will inevitably become about healing her childhood rather than growing as people. I need to trust that if things become difficult that she has the maturity to not act out or neglect things because she’s not getting things her way. All relationships require pushing through times that are challenging, and we will both need the maturity to invest in our dynamic when things are hard. I need to trust that she wants a life of devotion more than a life of comfort. Not that there won’t be comfort, but that when things are hard, she knows herself well enough to know to choose devotion. And last but perhaps most importantly, I need to trust her to leave (preferably in a good way) if she truly no longer wants to be here with me, because all of this is meaningless without that full bodied hell yes consent. |
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| The Thinker(sadist male){NotLooking} |
4 years ago •
Oct 11, 2020
Thank you, SoMuch. Any other dominants?
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MissBonnie(dom female){oz}
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4 years ago •
Oct 11, 2020
For me its a yes, I need to trust the submissive in EVERY way, I have to trust the submissive will always act in MY best interests. My interest include all aspects of my life. Trust is one of the major corner stones that the foundations of BDSM are build on, without trust your building on unstable ground.
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House Talion(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Oct 11, 2020
To trust that the Dr reports given are accurate, that they're not a cheater, that they're not after me for just one thing and then gone, trust that any connect found is genuine
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| The Thinker(sadist male){NotLooking} |
4 years ago •
Oct 11, 2020
Doesn't seem like too many dominants chimed in.
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MissBonnie(dom female){oz}
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4 years ago •
Oct 11, 2020
its a nine hour old post on the weekend....they still might!
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| The Thinker(sadist male){NotLooking} |
4 years ago •
Oct 11, 2020
I am rather interested in this topic. I am not a trusting person at all, and wanted to see what others think.
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