Aren't all Doms Alpha?

Aren't all Doms Alpha?

SSG{ENM-TLP} • Oct 13, 2020

A Dom friend of mine made a statement that really has me scratching my head...he said he is very Alpha and his submissive wouldn't need to lead him to do what he should do as a Dom.

I thought all Doms were Alpha.

Please teach me how to identify Alpha Doms.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Oct 13, 2020

If your assuming all Dom/mes are Dom/mes, and that are Dominant 24/7 than yeah most are Alpha (if by Alpha you mean they like to be number one) but there are also a lot that just like to Top and then they are often not a Alpha, it depends on personality. Then you have those that aren't looking for 24/7 arrangement and often see their submissive as only submissive during play. BDSM is so many things, to so many different people, you can never judge a book by it cover. BDSM is not a one size fits all, in my opinion it always pays to ask the individuals involved, to makes sure your personal definition of "alpha" and "Dom/me" aligns with theirs. MY version could very different to anothers

TheDavidsons{Yes} • Oct 13, 2020

We have met Dom/mes that were not Alpha and we have met Alphas that were not Dom/mes. Our best way to identify each individuals are about their personality and their experience/knowledge.

Defender​(dom male) • Oct 13, 2020

I hate the expression Alpha male.

If a man needs to describe himself as such, I always wonder why.

Always look deeper.

A flashy cover does not necessarily make for an interesting book.


You do not need to be constantly, overtly "Alpha" to be Dominant.

It comes from within.

You don't need to wear it on your sleeve.

shortylotus​(dom female){Valuedom} • Oct 13, 2020

The way we are perceived also depends on who is perceiving us. One submissive may view a Dom as very alpha, whereas i may not see them the same way because i have a very strong personality. It doesn't make them any less true to who they are but we naturally interact with each other differently.