How Do You Hold Each Other Accountable?

How Do You Hold Each Other Accountable?

Pumpkin29​(sub female){MrWhite} • Oct 30, 2020

To err is human; To forgive, divine.

We all screw up. We all drop the ball. Whether it be a negotiated item in a contract, a project, an assignment, a promise or just a standard or ideal.. sometimes, we miss the mark. At some point, we're all going to do something that we have to answer for.

So, question:

How do you hold each other accountable in your relationship?
Be you Dom or sub, contracted or otherwise, when your other half (halves?) effs up, how is it handled?

Taramafor​(sub male) • Nov 1, 2020

Make it about responsibility.

Sometimes that does require beating a dead horse with a stick. Because we're not mind readers and people want to pretend things that hurt us don't exist or "don't matter". They always do.

You might have to call someone weak when fear consumes them. Could be you today. Something else tomorrow. One situation. Then the next.

We all have our own stories. "Different" people will say. "Own reasons". But people are more alike then they care to admit. And we bring more on ourselves then we do on others. Others suffer for it. But in the end you're creating your own suffering. Suffering can be even be fun when controlled. But irrational? Lashing out? Born from ignorance? No "Choice" or "acceptance" there. No incentive to balance things out. Unless you create it yourself in the worst of moments.

In the end it's about the mirror. Know everyone is different. We're not actually equals. If we were, we'd all be the same. Lead by example, others will follow. Provided that example doesn't try to claim a moral high ground. For example, I will never pull the BS move of death ears and turned backs. However bad a situation is, presence always carries the potential for the next moment to be better. Even in the worst. This possibility becomes none existent once you flee and curl under a rock seeing only the worst of someone. Will they have their bad side? Yes. Does that subtract from the good? No. Is what you see as good bad, and bad good? Well, did you stick around to even find out and ask? Anything else can be overcome if you keep challenging each other.

One issue can be "guilt tripping". I've developed a counter argument to that. Your own emotions are your own. If you are evasive and difficult on purpose and someone is unhappy and depressed and complaining because of it, that's on your actions/lack of actions. If you're hardly even around someone when you want to be treated better, again, "lead by example". Doesn't mean you can't do bad/mean things. Does mean balance things out.