Cuckolding

Cuckolding

slaveeboy​(masochist male) • Nov 4, 2020

What is the best way in your experiences to find a suitable bull for your relationship? Have found that on tinder and regular dating apps you tend to scare the potential bull away when you inform him on the scenario you’re looking to have fulfilled. Anything would be great thanks!

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Nov 4, 2020

Wouldn't you prefer they got scared away, when it isn't really what they want?
rather than you invest time, into a situation that is wrong and not a good fit for ALL concerned.

While I don't cuck, I am poly in nature. I've always found my "just sexual partners" myself in every day normal situations and my submissive partners through BDSM communities.

I also wonder if you're looking for a bull as a couple, if that is what is scaring them off?..it actually sounds a little creepy when written, you might find your partner has more luck looking alone! the looking can be fun within itself and used in play with you! After all, it is more focused on her primary needs rather than yourself.

Dominant friends that do cuck often look for kinky partners on sites like this. They look for people that are not fetishists but are will to have a good time. Not every one on a kink site will be fetish orientated, some are only kinky (and there is nothing wrong with that). Some kinksters are just looking for a little spice to add to vanilla and can just as easily walk away from fetish kink for the right vanilla partner. Some like to call them HNG, others are a little kinder with terminology, despite what name you do call them...for some the "bull" role would be very fitting.

Best of luck on your search

Low{BLK OWND} • Nov 4, 2020

Be very clear in any ad what you are looking for
It gets better results

Taramafor​(sub male) • Nov 6, 2020

Cuckholding gets misinterpreted and misunderstood resulting in confusion of what people want vs what they THINK they want. Even by the people doing it.

Let's cover some basics.

1: Sometimes people that cuckhold do it behind backs. This to me indicates a lack of trust in a relationship, or at least a fear of their partner finding out. Lies and secrets is the bane of relationships so keep that in mind. If someone wants to do it behind backs then I'm ware of the already existing relationship. Only someone that knows how to help repair an already existing relationship can keep you all together in this scenario. Unless you somehow do it "on your own between the two of you" after bringing in a third person. But that seems unfair on the third person in that case (and the already existing two for that matter).

2: It doesn't have to be about chuckholding. Making it about chuckholding may be why people are getting scared off. That can also happen if you make it about "poly" as well. I've had to deal with people that assume the worst there. I've proven their fears unfounded. The best is approach is not to make it about either of those things but rather DISCUSS about how you can interact with each other when you're with someone already. Does it have to be a problem? Are you enjoying the company of all involved on a sexual/intimate level? How can you set that up? Now how can yu do that in your profile/ad? etc, etc.

3: Safe labels. By this I mean if you just go "Cuckholding" or "poly" or even "relationship" then it can leave room for misinterpretation. People fear being used and ending up in one sided situations. You WILL have to carefully explain how it can involve BOTH people and find a way for you both to get what you both want. And it's best to do that in your profile/ad first and foremost. Cuckholding is often just a sexual thing. But is it really? Or is it about the affection and attention that people get from sexual interactions? But that doesn't mean people will JUST do sex only either. Sex can be am major part but it's about affection, support. Being there for each other. etc. People likely won't think of that if you just go "Cuckholding". And you might assume the worst of being there for someone but it won't be as much of a chore as you assume, provided the other person isn't "too clingy". If they are that's another issue/topic. But most people are actually pretty chill with it. Unless someone has clear jealousy traits (even then that can be overcome. Boils down to being there for each other regardless of other factors). Also worth noting exposure to situations gets people with concerns to get used to those situations. Thus proving there is nothing to be afraid of. Starting said situations is the trick. This information might prove helpful if you ever happen to find yourself in a situation where a 3rd person is cared about yet wasn't sought out.

People can assume the worst when a 3rd person gets involved. I've gone through enough "multiple people" conversations to handle those kind of conversations. The fears are often irrational and unfounded. The PRESENCE of another person does not translate to being more absent with you. And even if it does mean "a little less time" it's more a matter of making the time consistently. "Semi daily" so to speak.

Let's say you see person A through half of the week. And person B through half of the week. That doesn't translate to "one then the other". It simple means "Varying back and forth between the two". Throughout the week. Finding that balance can be easy if people are around and actually make it a point to interact with each other. Which then means getting to relax without worrying due to everyone being seen too. Or it can be hard if people assume the worst and be difficult on purpose. Which only causes them to make more work for themselves (let alone you).

You might have to challenge people on their assumptions. And the proof is often found through actions. What you do with this information is up to you. Seek out a 3rd person but be very careful about how you might indicate "using them without care". It also help to have sexual/kink talks. Context is important. And it also helps to set things up for when you do get physical (or even do text roleplay online). You can of course "get right into things casually/spontaneous" and then take it from there as well. The approach you take will be dependent on who you're interacting with.

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 6, 2020

Might have been covered in one of the expansive posts above but don't go looking for kinky people on "mainstream" dating sites. There is a sliver of a chance you might find one but more often than not they're not looking for anything too twisted. There are kink-oriented sites on which you may have better luck.

and to throw a monkey wrench into that... in COVID times, meeting new people in person after online is somewhat problematic.

But.. good luck and happy bull hunting!